This lecture, followqed by Q and A, was presented&nbsp;for Avnei Chein, Israel, was presented on Sunday, 7 Adar II, 5784, March 17, 2024

When I Relinquish the Need to Control, Healing Is Born

Lecture for Avnei Chein, Israel

Confroting the Mental Health Stigma

This Women&#39;s class was&nbsp;presented on Tuesday, Parshas Ki Sisa, 18 Adar I, 5784, February 27, 2024, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

In the conversation between Hashem and Moshe after the sin of the Golden Calf, G-d says something shocking: &ldquo;On the day I make an accounting, I will bring their sin to account against them.&rdquo;

G-d, it seems, is telling Moses He will never forget this sin. And whenever He is going to make an accounting, this sin will be included in the &ldquo;package.&rdquo; 

This is deeply enigmatic. It is one of the foundations of Judaism that Teshuvah, repentance, atones for all sins and wipes them away completely. Every Yom Kippur, we declare that Hashem &ldquo;removes our sins every year again.&rdquo; No matter how many times we commit a sin, if we repent, we are forgiven. Teshuvah removes all guilt. It&rsquo;s over. Yet here we are told that G-d will never let go of this transgression? 

The most marvelous answer was presented by the famed Chassidic master and one of the greatest lovers of Israel, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov (1740-1809). In a daring interpretation, classic to the Chassidic approach toward Judaism, Rabbi Levi Yitzchak becomes the great &ldquo;advocate&rdquo; for the Jewish people, as he always was.

The class explores two models of education, one based on outer behavior and control, and the other one on connection and trust, and developing an internal relationship which allows a child to feel understood and empowered. We focus on the need to appreciate our successes, not only our failures.

The Beauty of the Golden Calf: When G-d "Learnt" Not to Take His People for Granted

Women's Ki Sisa Class

Can You Give Yourself A Standing Ovation for Showing Up?  Learning to Appreciate Ourselves

In honor of a recent &quot;Kesher Nafshi&quot; fundraiser, Rabbi YY Jacobson interviewed world-renowned therapist Rabbi Shimon Russell, author of &quot;Raising a Loving Family.&quot;&nbsp;The interview took place on Sunday 9 Adar I, 5784, Feb 18, 2024.

The conversation between Rabbi Russell &amp; Rabbi Jacobson explored how to raise a loving family in our times, how to educate, inspire, and mentor our children, providing them with their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, so that they can grow up to be healthy, happy and inspired human-beings and Jews.

The conversation also focused on Crisis-Chinuch, dealing with struggling children of all ages. The conversation explored the duty and opportunity for parents to heal themselves and confront their own coping mechanisms and wounds so that they can show up for their children authentically and vulnerably, without using their children as tools to numb their own pain.

For more information about Kesher Nafshi which helps parents with struggling children, please go to:&nbsp;<a href="https://keshernafshi.org/">https://keshernafshi.org/</a>

Raising Children With Self-Awareness, Attachment, Authenticity, and Egolessness

Rabbi Shimon Russell in Conversation With Rabbi YY

Bringing Out the Absolute Best in Our Children

How Do We Avoid Power Struggles &amp; Frustration Between Parents and Children? How do we helping our children and ourselves during a time of crisis and fear? How do we discipline children in a positive way? How do we avoid anger, power struggles, and frustration between parents and children? How do we inspire our children rather than control them? A conversation between Rabbi YY Jacobson &amp; Dr. Stuart Ablon.

This webinar took place on Friday 4 Kislev, 5784, November 17, 2023 &amp; was facilitated through Yochanan Polter &amp; Tova Korn of &quot;FreshStart&quot; https://jewishfreshstart.com/home

Fresh Start Retreat Our flagship program, Fresh Start Retreat, is a 7-day intensive retreat helping participants understand their past to create a brighter future.

How Do We Avoid Power Struggles & Frustration Between Parents and Children?

Rabbi YY in Conversation with Dr. Stuart Ablon

When You’re Dysregulated, You Can’t Regulate Your Children

Forgiveness Should Not Create Fear

During the ten days from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur, known as the “Ten days of Teshuvah,” we recite each morning one of the most beautiful and moving chapters of Psalms, ch. 130. It contains a most enigmatic verse, which is repeated many times during the prayers of Selichot, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

<h3 dir="rtl">כִּי עִמְּךָ הַסְּלִיחָה לְמַעַן תִּוָּרֵא.</h3>

“But you offer forgiveness, so that we might learn to fear you.”

The logic is counterintuitive. People who offer forgiveness are less feared, not more feared. If I know that you are the “forgiving type,” I fear you less, not more. What then does King David mean “But you offer forgiveness, so that we might learn to fear you?”

A Tale of Two Bank Managers

Rabbi Schnuer Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812), known as the Alter Rebbe, the Baal HaTanya, explained it with a metaphor from the world of economics.<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn1" name="_ednref1" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref1')">[1]</a> The entire metaphor is his; the specific example is mine.

It is 2006. The real estate market is booming. You took a 100 million dollar loan from the bank to renovate a massive complex in Manhattan which you will sell and earn a profit of 50 million. Not bad for a nice Jewish boy who is ADD and a college dropout. Suddenly, the market collapses, you can’t sell your condos, and you are left with a major debt. You meet with the bank manager. He declares: We want the entire debt paid up—the 100 million with all the interest, as per the schedule we agreed upon. On the 15th your first payment of 1.5 million is due.

You go home, and you know in your mind, there is no way you can do this. Even if you were to stand on your head for a month, you simply cannot come up with this money. So what do you do? Mentally, you give up. You ignore the monthly invoices, notices, summons, and warnings. You get your house off your name, you push off the hearings till 2033, and you go for a good massage. You tell your wife, the guy is crazy, and you don’t even think of it anymore. There is nothing better you can do.

But suppose another scenario: The bank manager says, okay, we all got hit badly. We are all in a big mess. We all need to bite the bullet. You were wiped out; we were also wiped out. Let’s work this out fairly and lovingly. How about, we cut the loan by 30 percent? We remove all interest. Let’s make this work for both of us. I need you to work with me. What would be a feasible schedule of payment?

Ah, now you get scared... Now you need to go home and you need to figure it out. Now you need to come up with some money. He is being such a mentch, you can’t betray him. You need to show up with payment.

This, says the Alter Rebbe, is the meaning of the verse, “But you offer forgiveness, so that we might learn to fear you.” If G-d demanded full compensation for all our mistakes, if He demanded that we pay up in full, with interest, then we would not fear Him; we would give up on Him.

It is like the child who can never please their parent. Whatever he does, it is never enough, and every mistake is highlighted. At some point, such children give up completely. “If I have no hope of ever getting it right, why try? If I will always be criticized, why bother?” The child, in a mixture of cynicism, rebellion, pain, and despair, just severs the relationship.

“But you offer forgiveness, so that we might learn to fear you,” King David says. G-d forgives. He never asks us to be perfect, only to be accountable. He asks of us to meet Him half way. He tells each of us on Yom Kippur: I want to make this work for YOU. I want you to live the most meaningful, beautiful, successful, powerful and happy life you can. I yearn for you to help Me make your life the ultimate success story.

Now we really have to go into our hearts and mend our mistakes, fix our wrongs and resolve to live a purer and holier future.

“But you offer forgiveness, so that we might learn to fear you.”

<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref1" name="_edn1" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn1')">[1]</a> Quoted by his grandson, Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Lubavitch, the Tzemach Tzedek (1789-1866) in Tehilim Yahel Or chapter 130. The metaphor is further explained in Maamar Ki Eimcha Haslicha 5709 (1949); Maamar Ani Ledodi 5729 (1969).

If I&rsquo;m Never Enough, I Give Up

If I’m Never Enough, I Give Up

Yom Kippur Essay

A Tale of Two Bank Managers: The Essence of Yom Kippur

This lecture by Rabbi YY Jacobson followed by Q &amp; A, was organized by&nbsp;the&nbsp;&quot;Nishmoseni Hotline&quot; (718-759-1111), and was presented to parents about raising children with special needs, on 3 Iyar, 5782, May 4, 2022.&nbsp;

The Pain, Stress, Social Challenges, Marital Difficulties, and Helping the Other children

Lecture to Parents of Special Children

Raising Children with Special Needs, with Q & A

Rabbi YY Jacobson gives a lecture for Nishmaseinu organization,&nbsp;helping parents with special children.

Responding to Clueless People; Asking for Help; Repairing Your Marriage; Confronting the Shame

Nishmoseinu Lecture for Parents of Special Children #1

Raising Special Children: Respecting Your Boundaries

Rabbi YY Jacobson &amp; Rabbi Shimon Russell, LCSW,&nbsp;discussing and taking questions on zoom, regarding: Why Are So Many Teenagers Struggling in Today&#39;s Generation? What We Can Do to Help Them?

Episode #83 of &quot;Let&#39;s Get Real with Coach Menachem,&quot; with Rabbi Menachem Berenfeld, Life Coach, moderated by Asher Parnes.

What We Can Do to Help Our Youth?

In Conversation: Rabbi YY & Rabbi Shimon Russell, LCSW

Why Are So Many Teenagers Struggling in Today's Generation? 

Rabbi YY Jacobson presented the keynote lecture to the parents of Shulamith Girls School in Cedarhurst, NY, on Wednesday Parshas Vayigash, 4 Teves, 5782, December 8, 2021.

The Comment that Saved a Teenager's Life

Lecture for Parents of Shulamith School

The Torah's Remedy for Your Struggling Child

This weekly women&#39;s class was&nbsp;presented on Tuesday, Parshas Vayakhel/Pekudei, 25 Adar, 5781, March 9, 2021, live from Rabbi YY Jacobson&#39;s home in Monsey, NY.

The Earring, Nose Ring, Finger Ring & Armband 

Women's Class Vayakhel

Four Pillars of Education

Rabbi YY Jacobson served as the keynote speaker at the Chanukas Habayis dinner of the new beautiful building&nbsp;of Talmud Torah Darkei Avos Sanz, in Monsey, NY,&nbsp;under the leadership of the dean and principal, Rabbi David Mashinsky. The school is under the leadership of the Sanz-Klausenberg Rebbe Shlita, Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech Halberstam, from Netanya, whose son, the Sanz Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Yosef Moshe Dov Halberstam came from Israel to grace the event. The event took place&nbsp;on Sunday, 5 Teves, 5781, December 20, 2020.&nbsp;

The speech addresses the honesty, connection, and love that must inspire the education of our children.

&nbsp;

All Children Need Love

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