• S

  shulim -1 year ago

  Many have noted issues with this guy

  Can we delete this menuval now that announced he's pro-Hamas?

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  • C

    Cristina -1 year ago

    Where did you see this information?

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• Anonymous -1 year ago

  This was really amazing. So mind opening and real. Understanding and dealing with trauma in a real way. A tremendous thank you to all those involved in making this interview happen.

  To everyone upset with things the doctor said that you don't think goes with Judiasm, he wasn't brought on this interview as a Rabbinical figure. He was brought here as a doctor and as a proffessional. Remember that we're dealing with trauma here... He's way up there in the trauma world. No one said he's a Rabbi.

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• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  And, for those who believe that taking the freewill of another to force their agenda or belief system, GD is already moving across the nations/peoples of the world to remove all freewill in punishment as well!

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• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  Do not let your anger, hatred and hurt make you into a victim a second, third, fourth...time, or even someone who will harm another.  The Gd of heaven writes you life's plan according to His will, if you allow Him His rightful position of Gd in your life!  That alone will assure a bright future no matter the past, and it will give power over your enemies!

  GD never gave you a right to seek vengeance or live by the ways of hell if you are a victim or are facing trauma from war, etc.  That is the lie of the god of hell who wants to use you for his nefarious purposes.

  Before you can heal, you must choose your GD.

  Remember what they have told you, sin is insanity--choosing to give up the best and blessings of Gd for that which is a moment of desires, which in the end will destroy you!

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• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  Ah, remember....the story of Purim.  Remember your enemies who tried to destroy you.  Germany was full of mind experiments and mind studies at the hands of unsavory people, with hatred and personal agendas, trying to figure out what gives a Jew an advantage.  Joseph was also treated like and animal for pleasure and money by his brothers, and later by Pharaoh, but he always sought GD and his ways.  Unsavory exists everywhere today, as in the past.  Do not open yourselves for more pain with those who do not serve Hashem.  Their wisdom is not better.  The foundation of that wisdom is the ways of the god of hell, and long term, that wisdom is designed by the gates of hell and the god of hell to destroy you.

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• Anonymous -2 years ago

  Dear Rabbi Jacobson,

  Another fascinating talk, thank you for providing this information. Dr. Van Der Kolk provides an interesting perspective on the treatment of trauma. However, his sweeping generalities about CBT, the DSM-5 and psychiatrists in general are dangerous. Most people dealing with trauma and various psychiatric diagnoses have many barriers to overcome before seeking effective treatment. Having a noted authority state that the standard forms of therapies are ineffective is the opposite of helpful. I'm no expert on this subject, but I do know his statement about CBT, (that the patient is told, "Don't think this, don't feel this.") is just wrong. I have been part of Miriam Adahan's EMETT group (based on CBT) for many decades, and anybody who makes a statement like that has no understanding of CBT. In addition, saying a diagnosis means the doctor doesn't treat the patient as a person is also incorrect. You can't judge a field on the basis of those who practice incorrectly. It's hard to find competent people in every field, but writing off the whole science of Psychiatry does a grave disservice to those suffering from trauma and other forms of mental illness.

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  • HG

    Hershel Gruenberg -2 years ago

    Unfortunately the Doctor was cut rather abruptly by the man in the black coat and he wasn't allowed to explain himself. 

    I have been a devoted follower of Dr. Peter Breggin who is a psychiatrist but has never ever given a psychiatrist drug to any of his 1000's of so called mentally ill patients.

    The one point he started to make is that there is NO MEDICAL PROOF whatsoever of any brain disorder in Schizophrenia, depression,  bi polar disorders, ADD, ADHD etc....it's all been made up by the psychiatrist world of make believe in order to drug up,  shut up , and shut down the human spirit. 

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  • J

    JS -2 years ago

    I trained as a CBT therapist, and yes the Dr is correct with his assertion that CBT is ineffective for trauma (I.e effectively treating it), and certainly for any advanced psychological disorder. It has become very popular in the last two decades or so, primarily because its cost effective. 

    This doesn't mean that it has no use. It does, as the Dr noted it can provide a map of where the client is, and which direction he or she should take etc. 

    Blessing and healing to all. 

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• Y

  Y.Abraham -2 years ago

  They are not helpless

  Dear Rabbi Jacobson,

  I have been listening to and appreciating your approach and classes for a few years now-thank you.

  I'd like to point out that, I noticed quite a few times you pressed the doctor to say that "people with trauma don't have free will".

  This is something you say often.

   I don't think he agreed to with you  any of those times. 

  People with trauma may be color blind oh, but they are not blind. Even someone with a real, natural predisposition has free will, albeit less.

  As someone married to a spouse who suffered trauma in their youth, I often times see it played selectively, as manipulation.

  You may call it self-defense, or  helplessness.

  But I still say they have free will. And, they are still very responsible to be very aware of the people around them that they hurt.

  And while not punished, to OWN and apologize for the hurt they caused.

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    Victims always have the freewill to ask GD to vindicate them and destroy their enemies in justice.  But, the truth is, once you are a victim, your freewill is taken away from you eternally.  As a victim, there will always be someone who will use it against you.  There will always be people trying to fix you and judge you, as if they know it all and are better people.  And, there will always be people who will see everything you do as defective, even if they would act the same or worse in a similar situation, as a result of you being a victim.  Being a victim is a lifelong prison sentence, without parole!  You will lose all!  You will not get it back!

    You were convicted based on the crime of another.  The only true freedom you will ever then experience is in your relationship with Gd.  To the world, including the religious world, you will always be less than them, a threat, an imposition, a reminder of their failure, and their liability because until they rectify their sin against you, their relationship with Gd cannot be restored and all they do will be cursed if Gd, no matter how they try to paint a glorious picture.  And, they will remain spiritually barren!  Spiritual barrenness for someone who has tasted the things of Gd is unending torture!

    Victims have two very irrevocable things:. Control over their abusers due to their sin against them--Gd will continue to destroy them on your behalf until they rectify their sin, if you wholeheartedly serve GD and leave the vengeance to Him, and two, a very special protection of Gd, if exercised!

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    • J

      Jake -2 years ago

      A trauma victim-because of their pain- may have a harder time being fairly balanced.

      Therefore they may be insensitive or actually hurtful to another.

      That doesn't make them "wrong" because that's all they can afford to give to that interaction.

      But they owe to others to expend self-awareness and free-will to recognize and express at times that they know they're a source of "unfair" hurt to people close to them. 

      Rabbi Jacobson, do you actually think they have no Free Will even for that?

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      • K

        Kj -2 years ago

        This is a question which needs a legal, Gd's law, response.  Everyone is obligated to the laws and ways of GD, regardless of what they have experienced, including non-victims.  This originally was an interesting question as it implied that the husband was dealing with his wife in complete righteousness.  Generally, only people who hate GD and His people are hateful to truly, loving Gdly people!  It is very hard to be mean to true G-dliness.

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    It also gives them the place of Gd in your live--a huge ego trip!

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• M

  Mendel -2 years ago

  Mendel

  I listened to part of this talk and I'm very intrigued but even more confused. How am I supposed to understand the Sicha of this week (Chelek 16 Sicha 4) which talks all about losing our self identity? It seems like we are taught not to focus on ourselves too much but rather focus on our mission. How is one supposed to translate this sicha in our practical life? Should we water down the message of this sicha? 

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• YYJ

  Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -2 years ago

  Clarification

  Thanks to all for your insightful, candid, and important feedback. I feel it is important to clarify: I did not interview Dr. Van Der kolk as an authority on Judaism. As he knows almost nothing about it. He is not Jewish and has no real knowledge or experience with Judaism and Torah. I interviewed him as an authority on trauma, of which he is considered today one of the top experts in the world.

  I wanted to hear from him his views on trauma and the process of healing it. 

  This was not a session to educate him about Judaism, or debate him; his ignorance of many aspects of Judaism was obvious. He did not even know we believe in the afterlife. But there were many victims of serious abuse online during the program and they wanted to get advice on healing.

  Thanks very much for understanding. May we all find healing.

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  • B

    benzion -2 years ago

    Thank you so much for the recent conversation with Dr. Van Der Kolk. Rebbe is single-handedly changing the conversation in our world and I so appreciate Rebbes clinical wisdom and guidance.
    
    Sending birchas hedyot that Rebbe continues to have the strength (and self-care) to help people heal their bodies and their neshamos.

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    Such a great comment...may we all find healing.  Those watching the abuse or affected by it in their midst find themselves in an odd place -- in many ways they are also victims, and in many ways they contributed to the abuse!  A true mixture that also needs healing.  A mixture that can make healing difficult for victims.  Only GD can truly heal.  Only GD can refashion a soul and body and restore lost purity!  Yes, victims are involved in sin, which by definition as Rabbi YY stated, brings separation -- painful separation.  However, for a victim, that sin was not willful, and is not counted against them.  However, it dies defile the entire community, requiring community-wide cleansing and healing!

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• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  So, on behalf of true victims, this is your day!  Your peeps are now losing with you, by the hand of Gd worldwide!

  May Hashem wrap His arms tightly around, and may you know and feel the living embrace from the GD who birthed you for His own, and in His great love!  May GD reach into the depth of your soul and create again a soul and heart of a newborn -- unharmed, trusting, loving, caring, and ready to take on the gates if hell fast engulfing the nations.  This is not about you.  It is about sin.  Someone else's evil against you, period.

  The only way to combat pure evil is Gd

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• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  I would further add...when governments and legal/religious institutions do not protect intentionally any victim, GD begins dismantling that entity -- hence, the wars, drought, famine, disaster - everything folks are calling the effects of global warming.

  The wrath of Gd can heat up the entire universe!

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• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  GD will not co-mingle flesh and the spiritual, no matter how educated it may be!

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• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  I've never seen anywhere in the text where you are required to forgive others who harmed you!

  I've also never seen in the text where you are obligated to deal with them, accept them, or do for them, unless they are you parents.

  You are only obligated to the law of Gd.  Healing will come through the law of Gd and Gd's way of dealing through that law!

  The question is, are you willing to submit to Gd's ways in all things?  If you are not, GD cannot help you in a way that will bring you what you need.  GD will not mix good and evil for anyone, including those who have been trampled by another!

  Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

• K

  Kj -2 years ago

  So, the question becomes...

  Since free will is given to all to chose how one treats another, how does GD deal with the wrong choices and harm done to someone by the misuse of free will by another -- plagues, drought, famine, cancer, death, alcoholism-inability to control oneself until one destroys themself, etc.

  The issue is -- who is your GD.  If Hashem is not your Gd, He has no obligation to vindicate the wrong done to you or to heal you.  

  There is nothing more healing than to watch GD, in justice, vindicate evil done to you!

  If GD created the core, He is capable of putting it back together with all of the pieces just as it was originally created.  After all, He is Gd.

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• HL

  Hinda Langer -2 years ago

  Hi to all

  I would like to ask Rabbi Jacobson to investigate the family constellation system of Bert Hellinger 

  it is a very rapid type of therapy but I'm not sure about halachic issues and would very much like to have a serious look at it.  It releases generational aspects of trauma 

  it posits that many of us can have radical resolution through bringing past generations to release us from inherited trauma that is not ours at all! 
  
  

  I'm able to tell you more about it if you have the opportunity.  I think dr Bessel probably knows about this 

  quickest therapy I have experienced in SF the makor of alternative healing and mishegas 

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• S

  Susan -2 years ago

  As a psychotherapist who has specialized in PTSD and trauma work for years, I can say that Bessel is one of the best sources of truth and wisdom as to how to help heal our clients deal with anxiety and depression from the things they have gone through. I have attended his conferences and traveled great distances to do so just because his years of research and practice is vast. I also use his book as a reference that I always keep nearby. He has fought the system of DSM power that just labels people as he mentioned. He is a true pioneer in our field. I am also a spiritual person which is how I came to listen to this talk because I follow Rabbi YY on IG not because I am Jewish but because I love his teachings! I have studied the Kabbala and I appreciate its mysticism and beliefs. This was a profound talk and I do hope there will be more. The pandemic has opened up a whole new arena of trauma and panic that we will need to keep having conversations to help not only the adults who have sufferered but the children. Every one of us must be in community to help wherever we can, and therefore, we all must do our inner work so we are restored enough to listen and meet others in the midst of their fears. There is a huge ripple of mental health issues that underly addictions and other behaviors that divide families that stem from PTSD.  I believe we all have a knowing of love from God within us that can continue our own healing journey of awareness and contribute to those needs in others. Be still and know ...you are all doing your part just by being here.

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• Anonymous -2 years ago

  Disapointed

  I understand why this conversation needs to be had. I have a harder time understanding why this would be put out to the general public without certain disclaimers.

  
  The doctor made some very ignorant and biased statements about judaism as a whole and they were allowed to stand. Even some pro-religion comments were very patronizing.

  
  When Judaism was blamed for being the source of an individual’s trauma, no differentiation was made between a person’s experience within Judaism and Judaism itself.

  
  I understand that these comments and reactions are coming from a place of pain, but I am disappointed by the lack of clarity on the part of the Rabbi. One can walk away confused by the uncertainty of what the Rabbi is condoning,  which is disappointing and feels really off brand for a website filled with the most deep and meaningful Torah and Chassidus.

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  • I

    Isaac -2 years ago

    I heard the opposite. Rabbi Jacobson stated that a boy could not celebrate shabbos because of the abuse he experienced on shabbos, or a shabbos table which is scary and hurtful, and NOT due to Shabbos.

    He made it clear that it was Judaism but our practices and our own trauma can take a divine religion and make it damaging for some.

    Please listen again carefully. 

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• Y

  Yitz -2 years ago

  Not impressed

  Let's get this clear. Yidddishkeit, unlike what the moderator said, is NOT the source of hurt. Shabbos is NOT the source of pain. Let's get to root causes please. Let's not obfuscate. People, their unbridled lusts resulting in their misguided judgements, their own selfishness. These are the sources of pain. Please keep this straight. Hey, think of recent popularized examples. Anyway, there is much better programming on www.theyeshiva.net and this is not one of those programs. Poor Rabbi YY that he got shlepped into this unfortunate misguided forum. 

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  • I

    issac -2 years ago

    I heard the opposite. Rabbi Jacobson stated that a boy could not celebrate shabbos because of the abuse he experienced on shabbos, or a shabbos table which is scary and hurtful, and NOT due to Shabbos.

    He made it clear that it was Judaism but our practices and our own trauma can take a divine religion and make it damaging for some. Please listen again carefully. 

    See some of the comments below, for example, the smack each time you looked out of the sidur. That creates a very negative association with Judaism.

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• MY

  Martin Yehoshua -2 years ago

  Boundary Violation

  Thank you for such inspiring content. I am someone who suffered from developmental trauma. My father would smack me on the back of my neck if I would look out of the siddur during davening. While he would gossip with his buddy.

  I must take issue with your interview with Vanderkolk. His ignorance of jewish ideology and practice was upsetting to me. He makes all sorts of assumptions about why we do things that are incorrect.  While I belive that he has made a great shift in the way we view trauma this interview crossed boundaries. He did not seem to me as someone who has respect for others boundaries. I was very scared listening to him. It makes me question his credentials as a clinician. I believe this video should not be shared with the public. It is not one that will help those recovering from religious trauma. 

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• Anonymous -2 years ago

  Instagram.com/hi.pdfInstagram.com/hi.pdf

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• Z

  Zev -2 years ago

  Responce (Though very very good)

  Some Thoughts..DR. OPINION (AND COMMENTATOR)   - MY RESPONCE

  “You don’t know your internal working” -     “Adam yoda tzaras nafshoi”

  “Feel in your body”  -            “Some kind of psychosomatic reaction…?” – there is well known anxious feeling…Jewish "chosen," Rabbinic studies, “defense” -   Chosen is a positive truth (and obligation)
  Rabbinic studies also teach us the way

  His lens is trauma

  He has a “bias” against the human    - Judaism focuses on our Holiness

  Commentator Tova "Challenging Jewish values"  -  Just because one is not in the mood of Shabbos, doesn’t make them entitled

  "Don’t have kids till your healed…." - Don’t think this is Judaism

  Psychedelics      -    ??

  “You’ll always mess up your kids…”   - Not necessarily (however getting bruised is part of life…)

  "Meditation" -   Jewish meditation is contemplation (NOT YOGA….)   

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    Thank you for saying this.  I was also bothered by all of that - and more... 

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

• D

  Dan -2 years ago

  Thank you RYY & Dr Kolk

  Thank you RYY & Dr Kolk, hopefully you will be able to bring the orthodox community more in alignment with the modern times, their cultures, social standards and their values with your teachings that were missing from previous Torah sources and teachings. It’s the traumas fault, not the individual's issue.Our orthodox youth will benefit greatly by exploring more outside their family community and traveling to eastern areas and other enlightened places that they can learn from.One must not be scared into following and be forced to observe commandments and customs with threats and burden of after-life consequences and punishment. Gd loves each one regardless of their spiritual, ritual standards and behaviors. All of creation is love. One must not be held accountable for their personal feelings and be told that their feelings are misplaced or wrong. All feelings are to be allowed and be validated.

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    What about feelings of jealousy?

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

• Anonymous -2 years ago

  Alert to those that are sensitive to unrefined speech - the Dr. doesn't always have the cleanest speech in this interview.  

  He also doesn't always espouse ideas that are inline with Torah.  He seems to be defining religion as a nice crutch to get through the hard parts of life.  He doesn't have access to the truth and the power of the Divine and our oneness within Reality.  He doesn't know that true healing comes from joining One.

  He offers nice tools to deal with the pain and move away from it, but not to ultimately transcend and thereby transform and reveal the darkness as light.  He doesn't embrace growth through healing, meaning in suffering, finding HaSh-m's face inside the darkest realities.

  He also seems quite quick to consider seperation or divorce.  Sometimes it's the right choice, but sometimes working things out while still in the relationship is the right choice.  Needs careful consideration and clear vision to make such decisions.  

  I think it's important to mention that for those of us who experienced pain through the mitzvos, like Shabbos etc.  it would be wise to remember that the abuse that was inflicted is not Torah.  All the ways of HaSh-m are pleasant.  If what we experienced wasn't pleasant/desirable, then it wasn't Jewish.  It's good to differentiate and call a spade a spade.  For example, if Shabbos was made to be miserable - the framework of Shabbos might have been there, but it wasn't Shabbos.  Call it what it was - abuse - or whatever it was.  Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Abuse.  There were individual people that ruined the day.  The day itself was not the problem.  Perhaps we have to admit that we never really experienced a real Shabbos.  One day when the time comes, we can take a fresh look at Shabbos and start to relate to it in it's true light and beauty.  

  The dr. also didn't want to give advice on how to deal with panic attacks because everyone is different and will need a specific tool for them.  True.  But in case it might help someone, here's my personal take on panic attacks - for whatever it's worth.

  Panic attacks aren't grounded in the present reality.  They are a reliving of the past.  It's a watered down experience of a memory - a distortion of now.  The real present moment is created absolutely new, from nothing, and it includes the past, the present and the future.  Everytime HaSh-m creates a new moment it's always the past, present and future together.  This is for our benefit.  All of it together informs us of what we are meant to do right now.  Rabbi Genuth, student of Rav Yitzchak Ginsburgh, said that panic attacks are coming from HaSh-m.  They are another opportunity to heal.  If we can acknowledge that it's coming from HaSh-m and allow ourselves to meet it and be transformed by it, then HaSh-m will heal us through it.  Another panic attack is another opportunity to heal.  lots to say on this, but the main point is to get clarity that the experience is a new creation that consists of a memory of a past/that is part of my new now.  It is not a current danger.  Allow it to be and try to get a mental hold of the whole reality, i.e. the past, the present and the likely future.  Panic tends to have the past take over our awareness.  But there is always an observer in us that can watch it happening, unite with it, and bring it into unity with the whole picture of now which is past, present and future all together as one.  This puts the past in it's right place.  It mitigates the panic or ends it alltogether.

  Acknowledging that the panic is coming from HaSh-m, which means by definition it is here for my benefit, reframes the moment into a spiritual growth opportunity.  It also takes the evil out it.  We are not victims of the panic attack, but beneficiaries.   

  refuah shleimah to us all.

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• JT

  Justin Thurmond -2 years ago

  Thank you Praise HaShem!

  That was incredible and brilliant, I saw Torah in everything the Dr. was speaking on, and I could feel the same excitement and joy as the live meeting. Thank you all!

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• CB

  Chaim Broad -2 years ago

  Self Healing

  BH

  We all know that our bodies are designed to heal themselves from any physical wound/trauma or even more serious disorder as infection or disease.

  Do we say that when it comes to phycological trauma our body and soul aren't capable to self healing?

  How to make sure that when we are looking for help in our attempts to heal, we just throw salt over open wound?

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  • JT

    Justin Thurmond -2 years ago

    From What I heard, the answer to making sure our work is not simply pouring salt into the wound, would be in Body Work, in introducing to your body, the physical sensation that is pleasant and healing, and learning from an educated person in that craft. Rabbi noted Noahs sons, as aspects of culture, and this can be developed further by also noticing each individuals drive towards what hobbies or physical activities and other sensorial engagements we find restorative, healing, and also in some sense those which help to rewrite the "ruts" of pain caused by repeated rainfall. Allowing the physical activities and sensations, whether its the more "traditional" body work as mentioned by the Doctor, or perhaps, Torah permitting, other physically active hobbies or therapies, as both can be restorative and allow for distance to be created from the trauma, is what allows the trauma to become "the past" so to speak. Im not the Rabbi or Doctor, so I could be 100% wrong, and be willing to admit that here and now. but that is what I gained from this meeting and I think with meditation on the Torah, these things could be extracted and integrated into a chassidic lifestyle, if they already aren't or haven't been before in some manner, i would also be surprised. Sometimes what is needed, is what is closest, yet we also feel that it is so far. discernment will help hopefully!

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Rabbi YY Interviews Author of The Body Keeps the Score

Rabbi YY Jacobson

• January 20, 2022
• |
• 18 Sh'vat 5782
• |
• 7369 views

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