TheYeshiva.net - Rabbi YY Jacobson

Day #5: Dancing Before Dr. Mengele

A Mother’s Life-Saving Advice Moments Before Her Murder

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Chanukah 5781 -- a Video a Day: Day 5

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B
beila -3 years ago
I have watched the beautiful Chanukah videos that you put out every night. I really should have let you know how much I appreciated it. I especially loved the video about how each person can make a huge difference!

Today I watched the video "dancing with Mengele". I heard this women's message that no one can take away what's in your mind. Maybe that was the best coping mechanism during something as horrifying as the holocaust. I myself can never understand the torture the people went through during the holocaust... From the little that I know it seems that the people going through the holocaust suffered extremely cruel physical torture. Yet it seems to me that the Nazis goal wasn't to take away what was in people's minds. They left them together with other people in the same situation as them, and as horrifying as it was, they were with other people who helped them remember that the Nazis are crazy.

There is a certain type of abuse called gaslighting. I'm not sure if you ever heard of this. It's an emotional sort of abuse. The abuse is only on the mind. It's not physical, it doesn't hurt, but it takes away what people have in their mind. It starts with the abuser isolating the victim- taking them away from friends, moving the victim to a place where no one knows them. Then the abuser goes telling others around (people who don't know the victim) lies that the victim has a mental illness is delusional and makes up stories. Then the abuser played mind games on the victim trying to convince them that they are crazy. These tactics actually work very well. Because when a person is isolated from others who can confirm their reality, and they keep on hearing from everyone around them that they are crazy. The message starts to sleep in. Because the mind is actually a very vulnerable thing.

As long as people are convinced that the mind is untouchable and cannot be abused, people who are victims of emotional abuse will continue to be blamed for letting themselves be abused. Not only that, the abuser isn't seen as someone who does something wrong. Because if he can't damage someone's mind, with his words and actions, then if he doesn't physically hurt his victim, he isn't seen as an abusive person.

Years ago physical abuse was acceptable. Baruch Hashem, the world (and the Jewish community) now recognizes that people should not be hurt physically. Now people believe that physical abuse hurts and is damaging. Can people start realizing that emotional abuse also damages???? The only way to fight against something is to recognize that it is wrong.

Your speeches are usually brilliant and contain so much depth. I am often awed by the breath of your knowledge, in so many areas! I am not trying to criticize today...

I just felt that someone who reaches such a wide audience and inspires so many people to become better, Who inspires so many to bring the Geulah, is the one who can also help people understand what emotional abuse is.

I'm writing this from my heart in the hope that something can be done to bring our communities to a new and higher level.

Please please please, do some research about what emotional abuse is and how it can take away what someone has in their minds.
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  Isaac -3 years ago
  Thanks so much for sharing this; yes this is so so true.cEven trauma plays with the mind; we think we have control over our mind, but our mind has been damaged, our neural pathways so restricted. This is so true. Point is, for your mind to be free -- that itself is a gift that requires sometimes intense healing.
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R
Rivky -3 years ago
I loved this Chanukah message. she is my inspiration.

I posted it on my status and everyone is asking for the dull version. your videos make me so happy.
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L
Lau -3 years ago
great great book. i have her book. thanks vm for adding so much to our Chanukah.
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S
sammy -3 years ago
very powerful. incredible woman.
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nahcman -3 years ago
wow. the book has been a big hit in our family
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