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Can You Make Space for My Struggle? Why Yaakov Had to Marry Leah

Whatever I Don’t Deal With, Will Resurface Later in My Life for Repair

1 hr 31 min

Class Summary:

This class was presented on Tuesday Parshas Vayetzei, 5 Kislev, 5783, November 29, 2022, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

The Midrash relates that when Jacob discovered the switch between the two sisters, he told Leah, “You are a liar, the daughter of a liar,” his way of saying that the apple did not fall far from the tree. “Why did you deceive me?”

Leah responded to Jacob’s accusation: Every craftsman creates students. Even a barber inspires students who learn from him the skill of cutting hair. My father and I, too, had a mentor who taught us how to deceive. Some time ago, Leah said, there was an old man, who wanted to bless his oldest son but was deceived by his younger son..

On a simple level, Leah was teaching Jacob the rule of “what goes around comes around.” He deceived his father, causing the blessing reserved for the older son to go instead to the younger son. What he did to his father and brother, was now done to him.

Scathing indeed, but deeply disturbing. Let’s assume for a moment Jacob was wrong in taking the blessings—how does that exonerate Leah and Laban in deceiving him? Can I deceive you in a business deal, because you deceived your brother in a deal seven years earlier?

Yet, a deeper reflection reveals a profounder reading of this narrative. The deeper dimension has been revealed by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812), founder of Chabad, known as the Alter Rebbe, in a discourse of 1811, during the last year of his life; his colleague, Rabbi Yisroel Hopstein, known as the Kozhnitzer Maggid (1737-1814), in his work Avodas Yisroel; and by the third Rebbe of Ger, known as the Sefas Emes (1847-1905). It was all brought together in an address by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, on Shabbos Parshas Toldos 5741, and Shabbos Vayishlach 5747 (1987).

The Avodas Yisroel and the Sefas Emes discuss the meaning of the actual Midrash. The Alter Rebbe and the Rebbe explore the inner soul of these ideas. Coupled together we have an outstanding tapestry woven together, with profound lessons for our lives today.

The class explores why Yaakov wept when he met Rachel? Why Leah wept when people said she would marry Eisav? Why was Yaakov given a name for holding on to his brother’s heel? And why do we define Eisav as wicked when he was already struggling in his mother’s womb, completely beyond his choice? We discover how Judaism views the struggles and traumas we need to contend with.

Please leave your comment below!

Women's Vayetzei Class

Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • November 29, 2022
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  • 5 Kislev 5783
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  • 3387 views

לעילוי נשמת הרב החסיד יוסף יצחק בן אלעזר קלמן כ"ב חשון Yosef Yitzchok ben Elozar Kalman, Dedicated by his children and siblings nieces and nephews, Tiefenbrun Family.

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