The Mirror of Your Heart
- August 28, 2008
- |
- 27 Av 5768
Rabbi YY Jacobson
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The Mirror of Your Heart
Rabbi YY Jacobson
- August 28, 2008
B”H.
Rosh Hashanah 5769
The Mirror of Your Heart
By Rabbi YY Jacobson
Summary:
The only conversation that takes place between the first Jewish father and the first Jewish child is when Abraham is about to sacrifice Isaac. None of the biblical Matriarchs ever communicate with their children. What does this tell us about the secret of Jewish education? And how did hundreds of generations of Jews manage to inspire their children? It was never through sermons, only by demonstrating the richness, depth and beauty of Judaism.
This sermon – sprinkled with many moving stories and anecdotes -- captures the power of passionate Jewish living and its timeless impact on our loved ones, coupled with practical suggestions.
Note:
The sermon is long. But you can EASILY shorten it to your liking, by skipping any or all of chapters 3, 6, 10, 12, 14, 17, 22, 23, 24, 26.
Suggestion:
Reflect on the ideas in your own mind; internalize them to make them your own. Allow the structure to resonate with you internally. Analyze your audience and what would be particularly meaningful to them.
1.
An Italian, a Frenchman and a Jew arrive in Heaven and each is judged. The angel escorts the Frenchman to his heavenly reward. They enter a beautifully arranged banqueting hall with all the foods that a French connoisseur could dream of.
The Frenchman turns to the angel and says, "This can't be mine. There must be some mistake. I was immoral most of my life and I was hardly G-d fearing."
The angel replies, "There is no mistake. These delicacies are yours but there is a catch. Every day at 5:00 pm they will bring in a large pot of soup that is boiling hot. You will be immersed in it. If you can take the pain you can partake of the banquet."
"Sorry" said the Frenchman "I just could not tolerate the pain."
The Italian, too, is taken to his reward a similar banquet with pasta and all the best Italian food you can wish for on Rosh Hashanah.
Again a similar dialogue takes place, the Italian admitting to a life of financial fraud and corruption. "This can't be mine. There must be some mistake.”
He too is advised that at 5:00pm each day he will be immersed in a boiling hot pot of minestrone soup and he again states that the pain would be too much to bear. It’s just not worth it.
Finally the Jew is taken to his eternal rewards. They enter a beautifully arranged banqueting hall with all the foods that a Jew can only dream of... Chopped liver, kugel, gefilte fish, sweet herring, salty herring, kishke, cholent, sushi, beef lo mein, and of course, the most beloved food for Jewish men – tofu and soy beans.
He too cannot believe his luck.
"This can't be mine. There must be some mistake. I never went to Shul, I never did anything Jewish… How can this be mine?"
Again the same response: "5:00 pm each day, you will be immersed into boiling hot chicken soup with kneidalach. If you can take the pain the banquet is yours."
"Fine", said Yankel, "I'll take it".
The angel is stunned. “The Frenchman and Italian – and countless other gentiles – have declined the offer; what makes you different?"
Yenkel responds: "What should I tell you? I know Jewish functions all too well. 5:00 is not 5:00 and the soup is never that hot."
Well, welcome all to one of the great Jewish functions of the year. But one in which we are both on schedule, and the “spiritual meal” offered is hot, delicious and fulfilling.
2.
What is Rosh Hashana? What would we expect the Torah and Haftorah readings for these days to be? What is the message of the day?
It is, as we say in our prayers, the anniversary of creation. Hayom harat olam - today, the universe was born. The logical thing then would be to read about the creation of the universe and the creation of the first human beings, Adam and Eve.
What do we read instead? On Day one, we read about the birth of the first Jewish child, Isaac, and about a discovered well of water which saved a young child, Yishmael, dehydration. As the haftorah, we read about an individual woman’s prayer for a child. Hannah pours her heart out to G-d that she wants a child, and G-d fulfills her prayer. Samuel is born.
On Day two of Rosh Hashanah, we read about the binding of Isaac and his deliverance. As the haftorah, we read Jeremiah 31 in which the prophet speaks of Rachel "weeping for her children" and G-d comforts her saying, "Restrain your voice from weeping. Your children will return to their land."
3.
Four Jewish ladies, at a resort in the Catskills, were in rockers on the veranda and admiring the scenery. After a while the first woman sighed, "Oy!" The others sighed sympathetically. Then the second woman sighed, "Oy Vey!" The others nodded. A third woman said, "Oy, Gottenyu!" The others nodded as if in agreement. Finally, the fourth woman said, "Enough talk about the children. Let's go for a walk!"
4.
And this is exactly what we do on Rosh Hashanah: We talk about the children. All four readings of Rosh Hashanah are not about the creation of the cosmos, the creation of the human race, the future of the universe, or cosmic, universal ideals, but rather about individual parents waiting for years to have a child, and finally being blessed with children and raising them. Why?
Because Judaism always understood that children are the center of the universe. We celebrate existence by celebrating our children. Each child must know that he is a miracle akin to the miracle of creation. Each child must know that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him or her.
That is how Judaism, the West's oldest faith, has for 4,000 years stayed young while other civilizations grew old and disappeared. Judaism survived because it never lost its love of children, it never lost its radical and magical infatuation with children, and it never forgot what that means by way of building homes, schools and communities to pass our values and blessings on across the generations.
Judaism is the most child-centered of all faiths. The first mitzvah in the entire Torah, the first command G-d gave the first humans, was to have children. Abraham, Genesis tells us, was loved by G-d “because he will instruct his children and his household after him to keep the way of G-d, doing what is right and just.” The Shema commands us to “Teach these things diligently to your children, speaking of them when you sit at home and when you journey on the way, when you lie down and when you rise up.”
5.
How desperately we need that message today. At some stage, not very long ago, we lost sight of this truth. We put adults before children, and pleasure before responsibility. Ours is a society is almost unique in believing that you can have intimacy without commitment, families without marriage, or children without the stable presence of parents. In a single generation, marriage and the family were lost for so many.
6.
There is a story about a father who came home from work late again, tired and irritated. He found his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
"Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the father.
"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"
"What makes you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want to know . . . please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.
"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."
"Oh...!" the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"
The father was mad. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you better march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish games."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. How dare he asks such questions only to get some money.
After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep son?" he asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man. "It's been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's the $10.00 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you daddy," he yelled. Then reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man seeing that the boy already had money started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money then looked up at the man.
"Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"
7.
So on Rosh Hashanah, when we celebrate the magic of creation, we celebrate the world’s greatest and most extraordinary miracle: Children. According to the great mystics, Rosh Hashanah is the most auspicious time to pray for our children (1). Weather we have children, or we are hoping to have children in the future, or we ARE children -- and most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children -- this is the time to focus on our children, to love them even more, to pray for them, to reflect on their lives and on their needs, to connect to them in the deepest way possible.
[You may want to give a warm, emotional blessing to all of the children of your community].
8.
People often ask me: Rabbi, how can I be sure that my children will share the Jewish values and beliefs that I hold dear? The world has changed so much since I was young, and I can only imagine how much more it will change by the time my children grow up. How can I pass on my convictions to my children?
They are right. Times HAVE changed, and we are beginning to sense how suddenly and radically they have changed. We had grown used to a situation in which Jewish identity was passed on through the generations by habit, memory, external events and an inescapable sense that being Jewish is what we are. Belatedly we have discovered that for our children, being Jewish is no more than a matter of choice. They know that they can choose otherwise, if not for themselves, then for their children. How Do I make sure my grandchildren will be Jewish and proud Jews?
This is the issue I want to address today.
9.
It is said that Artur Schnabel was once asked, “How do you play pianos so well?” He answered, "The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes -- ah, that is where the art resides."
One of the profoundest ideas presented in Judaism on the art of raising children and on the meaning of education is conveyed via the silent pauses which characterize the relationship between the first Jewish parents and their children in the Bible.
Let me ask you a question: How many conversations do you suppose take place in the Bible between the first Jewish father, Abraham, and his son, Isaac? [You may want to request the crowd to answer and take a few answers.]
We would expect perhaps 5, 10, or 15 conversations between them. After all, Abraham was waiting 100 years for his boychik to arrive. He pleaded with G-d numerous times to grant him a child. Finally, the child arrives. We’d assume, the father wouldn’t stop conversing with his boy.
In reality, in the entire long story of Abraham in the book of Genesis, there is only one conversation found between them.
And when does that conversation take place? On the way to sacrificing Isaac at the famous episode of the akeidah (the binding of Isaac), the heart-stirring and awe-inspiring story read on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.
Imagine: The Bible does not record even a single conversation between the first Jewish father and the first Jewish child except when the father is on the way to sacrifice his son; when he has become the target of Abraham’s faith…
Note: The rabbis tell us that Isaac was 37 at the time. He was certainly not a young child, as he is old enough to travel three days with Abraham but without his mother. His conversation with Abraham is that of an older child or a young adult. Finally, Isaac is the one who carries the wood for the sacrifice up the mountain.
He also was most certainly not a teenager. How do I know? Because killing your teenage son is not a difficult test… Many fathers would be just happy…
10.
I once heard a Jewish personality remark that the Torah was teaching us precisely what a father ought NOT to do – to never talk to his child, except when he is about to kill him for his faith…
With all due respect, that man got it wrong. Besides the fact that the same Bible (2) quotes G-d as saying that he chose Abraham precisely “Because he will instruct his children and his household after him to keep the way of G-d, doing what is right and just.” Apparently, Abraham DID dedicate himself to raising and educating his family.
But in addition, I want to ask you lend a sensitive ear to the actual conversation that takes place between Abraham and Isaac on the way to the binding. Then YOU tell me weather these two people have a relationship or not.
(Speak slowly. This is emotional). Here is the literal translation from the original Hebrew:
Isaac said to his father Abraham, and he said: Avi! My Father!
And Abraham said: Hinani Veni! I am here, my son!
And Isaac said: The fire and wood are here, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?
And Abraham answered: G-d himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son. And they walked together.
How many redundancies do you encounter in this exchange? At least four.
1. “Isaac said to his father Abraham.” Well we all know by now that Abraham was Isaac’s father. Why the repetition?
2. “Isaac said to Abraham his father, and he said…” The verse already stated, “Isaac said,” why state it again: “Isaac said to Abraham his father, and he said…”
3. Instead of telling us what Isaac actually said to Abraham, the Bible states, that he said Avi! My father. Only after his father’s response, would the Bible repeat for a THIRD time “and he said…,” asking his father where is the sheep for the offering.
4. And Abraham said: Hinani Veni! I am here, my son! Why not get straight to the point, tell us what Isaac asked his father and Abraham’s response to him. Why must we first become aware of the way Abraham responded: Hinani Veni, I am here, my son.
It is clear to me, that each of these redundancies is attempting to demonstrate the deeply pulsating love between father and son.
Let’s be honest: When was the last time YOUR son approached you and said Dad! And instead of just saying, “Yes, go ahead,” or “I am busy now, come back soon,” “Don’t you see I’m on the computer, leave me alone,” you just stopped, looked him in the eyes, and said (speak slowly): Hinani Veni! I am here, my son!
And let us remember: “Hinani” was the same word Abraham used when G-d summoned him initially and told him to go sacrifice his son. This is the exact term Abraham uses once more when his son reaches out to him during their three-day journey. Abraham says Hinani to his child just as he said Hinani to G-d.
And if so, why is this conversation the ONLY one recorded between father and son in all of the Torah?
11.
How about between mother and son? Between Sarah and Isaac?
-- You know the story of the little Jewish boy who was telling his mother about how he had won a part in a play that was being done at school. His mother asked, "What is the part you will play, Saul?" Saul responded, "I shall play the Jewish husband," to which the mother replied, "Well, you go right back to that teacher and tell her that you want a SPEAKING part!"
So nu, if Abraham was silent, at least we would expect Sarah to be speaking to Isaac.
After all, Sarah was so protective of Isaac: She had Ishmael expelled from the home because he was abusing Isaac. She was a classic Yiddish mame. The first Jewish mother in history…
-- A young Jewish man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder. "Every thought I have turns to my mother," he told the psychiatrist. "As soon as I fall asleep and being to dream, everyone in my dream turns into my mother.
“Last night I even had a dream that YOU were my mother. I wake up so upset that all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast. And I came running here for the session."
The psychiatrist replied, "What, just one piece of toast for a big boy like you?"
Sarah too waited for 90 years for this boy. We could certainly expect many a conversation between mother and son.
But no! Not even a single conversation between them, in the entire Bible. For nine decades she is waiting for this boy, and then when he comes, they don’t talk!
How about the second generation of Jews? How many conversations does the Torah record between Rebecca (Isaac’s wife) and her son Jacob?
That’s right! Only one. Its content? Go get your father’s blessings before your brother gets them…
And between Isaac and his son Jacob? Again, one conversation. Its theme? Get out of the home and go find yourself a sheduch, a nice girl…
Let’s examine the third generation of Jews: Between Rachel-Leah and their children? Not a single conversation in the entire book of Genesis.
[And between Jacob, and his children? Almost no verbal communication, besides for chastising two of his children for what they did in Sechem (known today as Nablus), sending Joseph away from home and negotiating with his children their travels to and from Egypt. Only on his death bed does Jacob finally address his children as a father to children.
What is the meaning behind all of this? Did our great forefathers and foremothers, the founders of Judaism, not believe in verbally communicating with their children?
Now, I am sure that our Patriarchs and Matriarchs enjoyed many long conversations with their children. Our passion for talking and talking and talking must have come from somewhere… What is bothering me is this: What is the message the Torah is attempting to convey to us by not mentioning almost any verbal communication between the first Jewish parents and their children?
It is in this silence, my friends, through which the Torah communicates to us the most important lesson about education.
The message is captured in a most powerful way in the following Talmudic story (4).
The Talmud relates that when our father Jacob was on his deathbed, surrounded by all of his children, he suddenly felt that the Divine presence, the Shechinah, departed from him. He was overtaken by dread and fear that one of his children present in the room was living an immoral life, and that is why the Sechinah has left him. The old father confronted his children asking if perhaps one of them was has corrupted his ways, betraying the values Jacob attempted to inculcate within his children?
His sons responded with most famous Jewish declaration, “Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad. Listen Israel – Jacob’s name was Israel -- the Lord is Our God, the Lord is One. Keshem sheein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One."
[At that moment Jacob responded and said, "Boruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Leolam Vaed, Blessed be the honorable name of His kingdom forever and ever."]
Let us listen to their words carefully: “Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One.” Yet the first half of their statement seems superfluous. We know that in Jacob’s heart there was only One G-d. That was not up for discussion. The question was what is going on in THEIR heart. All they needed to say was, “Listen father, in OUR heart there is only one?”
12.
There was once a new rabbi who came to his first pulpit. And on the first Shabbat that he was there, he delivered a good sermon. Afterwards, everyone congratulated him, they all loved the sermon.
The next Shabbat, everyone came to shul, ready to hear the rabbi's words. But he gave the same sermon. I don't just mean a similar sermon, I mean the same exact sermon, word for word. No one knew what to say, so they went home quietly.
The third week, the rabbi got up to speak, the congregation was perfectly still, and lo and behold, again the same sermon. Word for word.
This time they had to do something, so the president and the search committee were designated to go and speak with the rabbi. They made an appointment and came into his office. “Rabbi, it is so wonderful to have you here and we want you to feel very comfortable, but there is just one thing that is causing some concern. The first week you were here, you gave a very good sermon, and the second week, you gave the same sermon, and this week again the same exact sermon?!”
The rabbi was unperturbed. “Well of course I gave the same sermon; you're still acting in the same way!”
13.
The first thing that our Patriarchs and Matriarchs understood about communication and education was how wrong this rabbi was, how detached he was from his audience. Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebeccah, Jacob and Rachel and Leah, knew that sermons, speeches and lectures will never do the trick. It’s all about the HEART.
Years ago I came across a one-liner that had a profound impact on me personally: "Every rabbi has only one sermon -- the way he lives his life." It's all too true. We can preach from today until next Rosh Hashanah, but if we don't "walk the talk" and live the game we purport to play, we will leave our audiences unmoved, cold, and apathetic. The most eloquent orators will fail to make an impression if their listeners know that their message is hollow and isn't backed up by genuine personal commitment.
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
The first Jewish parents understood very well that the real great sermons of life are never comprised of words, sentences, eloquent diction and perfected prose; the great sermons are created out of three materials: Conviction, love and actions.
Listen once more to the words of tribes of Israel to their father Jacob while he lay on his deathbed wondering if he failed to educate them appropriately: Keshem shein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One." The first half of their sentence was not superfluous. What they were saying is -- the reason there is in our heart only One, is because our hearts reflect and mirror YOUR heart, and in your heart there is only One. Children are the mirror of their parents’ hearts, not of their words. Jacob or father, since in your heart there was one, our heart too is saturated with the one living G-d.
14.
Political scientists have long found that 4 out of 5 people with a party preference grow up to vote the way their parents voted. If you are voting McCain, expect your children to vote Republican when they grow up. If you’re voting Obama, they will usually follow suit. In fact, while many people experience a temporary rejection of their parents’ politics in very early adulthood, virtually nothing is more predictive of your political ideology than that of your parents—it’s more of a determining factor than income, education or any other societal yardstick.
15.
This is the message the Torah is attempting to convey to us by not recording the speeches Sarah gave her son Isaac, or Rebecca gave her son Jacob, or Rachel -- her son Joseph. Values are caught, not taught. Sarah did not preach, pontificate or give sermons to Isaac. She did not educate him through lectures. Sarah was comfortable with herself; she loved what she did, she was passionate about her convictions and her faith, and she lived them. Isaac needed only to look into his mother’s eyes when she was lighting the Shabbat candles, and he learnt what he needed to learn about serenity, self-confidence, love and spirituality. Isaac needed only to watch his father interact with his guests, and he learnt all he needed to learn about compassion and generosity of spirit, about tekun olam, and honoring the image of G-d in the other human being.
It is through your silence – far more than through your verbal communication -- that you educate your children. It is about who you are, not what you say. What you truly believe in, in the depth of your soul, your children will carry with them. Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children, and our worlds play a small part in that deposit.
Mark Twain once said: When I was eight, my father was a genius; when I was eighteen – he was a moron. Now, I’m 28, I have a few kids of my own, and I see that my father has some good ideas. It’s funny how much the old man learnt in ten years…
Sure, our children go through their rebellious stages. At the age of 14, they are usually taught the 11th commandment – thou shall disobey your father and your mother… But at the end, they usually gravitate to the ideals, values and passions that have been ingrained in their psyches not so much from the sermons of their parents, as much as from the way of life and the authentic convictions of their parents.
Our Patriarchs and Matriarchs educated and inspired their children through their PRESENCE.
16.
There is only one VERBAL speech that IS recorded between Abraham and Isaac. And that is the one taking place on the way to the binding of Isaac, in a moment of supreme self sacrifice, both for a loving father and a beautiful child.
Why? The Torah is teaching us that the only conversation between a father and a son that would be recorded in a timeless divine blueprint for life, in the Torah, is one that takes place a midst a moment of self-transcendence and self sacrifice. The only conversations between parents and children that are truly timeless and eternal are those in which the child hears not only words, but the readiness of his or her parent to sacrifice for these words and values.
Think of yourselves: Which aspects of your own parents’ lives have you you’re your own? Which lessons of your parents still summon you and challenge you today? Is it the chastising speeches your father or mother gave you, or is it those things you knew your parents were ready to sacrifice for?
17.
Several years ago there was a commemoration for the sixtieth anniversary of Kinder-transport, the operation to rescue thousands of Jewish children from Germany and Austria where they faced almost certain death. More than 1,000 of those who made the journey had come together from across the world to London to remember. They recalled those fearful days when they waved goodbye to their parents, often never to see them again, and travelled to safety in a strange land.
One speech that day came from the film producer Lord Attenborough. In 1939 he and his family were living in Leicester. His parents had offered refuge to a number of Jewish children escaping from Germany, on their way to the United States. When war was declared, two Jewish girls were staying with them. They realized that they would now be unable to cross the Atlantic. What was to be done?
The Attenboroughs decided that they would offer the girls a home for the duration of the war, but they felt that it was a decision that could only be made as a family. Richard described how his parents called him and his two brothers into the study and told them the situation. They explained that the two girls, Helga and Irene, were Jewish. Their parents had been sent to concentration camps and were unlikely to survive. The girls had no one to care for them and nowhere to go.
Sixty years on, Lord Attenborough recalled his parents’ words. “We want to adopt the girls. We think it is the right thing to do. But we will only do it if you agree. It will call for sacrifices. We were a family of five. No we will be a family of seven. There will be things we won’t be able to afford. There will be things you’ll have to share. One of those will be love. You know how much we love you. But now you will have to share that love with Helga and Irene. We will have to show them special affection, because you have a family, but now they have no one at all.”
The boys agreed. Thinking back to that day across six decades, Lord Attenborough described it as the most important day of his life. It transformed him forever.
18.
This is not just a story that occurred 65 years ago. It happened with one of my dear colleagues, merely 24 months ago.
When the judge gave the Jewish community of Cordoba, Argentina, ten days to find a home for three abandoned Jewish children or they would be given into the care of a local church-run children’s shelter, Chabad Ambassadors to Cordoba, Rabbi Yossi and Chana Turk, made a decision that altered the course of their and their children’s lives. They adopted Gavriel, 6; Nicola, 4, and Candelaria, 2.
Now instead of eight children, the Turks have eleven. [It is what we call Family Planning, Chabad style…]
When the Turks went to pick up the Perlmutter children, state shelter workers had one request. The sneakers the children were wearing should be returned. They were shelter property.
At the doorway of the shelter, the children were apprehensive. In their short lives, after their father died and their mother had abandoned them, after being jostled from aunts to uncles to distant relatives who could not care for them, the three children had never seen a normal family life. But they decided to go along.
First stop, the shoe store.
Basic hygiene was unknown to the children. All three – including the six-year-old -- were still in diapers. Regular baths, hair combing, three daily meals, all that our children take for granted, was new. Even the existence of children’s books was a revelation.
Now, before the three children could start their new lives, the Turks had to pass an evaluation by a state-sponsored psychologist. With eight kids of their own, doubtless the Turks had plenty of experience. But would they, an already large family, qualify? Chana Turk worried.
On the appointed date, the psychologist greeted them with a warm smile. “Rabbi Turk, don’t you remember me?” she said. Rabbi Turk drew a blank and asked the psychologist to fill him in on the connection. Six years ago, when the Turks celebrated their tenth year in Cordoba, Argentina’s second largest city, a ten hours’ drive from Buenos Aires, the Jewish senator who was attending the banquet brought a guest, who was none other than the psychologist….
The Turks spent much time with their own children making sure that they would not feel resentment.
19.
You see, friends, the Turk children – G-d bless them – just like Lord Attenborough, will not have to hear sermons from their parents about Tikkun Olam, about loving humanity, about the dignity of courage, and the blessings of generosity. They look into their Mom’s eyes each day and they know the meaning of Ahavat Yisroel, of love toward a fellow Jew; they look into their Dad’s eyes each night and they know what it means to be Jew -- to be there with your heart and soul for three Yiddishe kinderlach who would otherwise be destined to a life of poverty, hopelessness and misery.
They see and feel what their parents are ready to sacrifice for. And that makes all the difference.
Suppose our greatest leader would debate Barak Obama today, who would win the debate?
Of course, Obama! Moses, our greatest leader and teacher, could barely communicate verbally. He had a terrible stutter. So why didn’t Judaism find somebody more appropriate to articulate our message?
The answer, you may by now guess. Because Judaism always understood that its message, its truths, its music would not survive thousands of years through brilliant and articulate sermons alone, but through individual men and women who are passionate about it in their daily acts and interactions. For that, there was no better row-model than Moses.
20.
What was it that Jewish parents, throughout our long and painful history, demonstrated to their children? How did hundreds of generations of Jews manage to inspire their children to cling to their faith, often amidst unbearable conditions? What was their secret?
Our great-great grand parents exposed their children to an inner universe, a world often impoverished financially, but incredibly rich internally. Jewish children saw a life based on commitment, faith, deep moral conviction, and the belief that a human being was created not just to be comfortable, but to serve G-d. They witnessed the beauty of Shabbat, the depth of Torah, the ecstasy of prayer, the holiness of mitzvot. They were in awe of the basic Jewish notion that a human being is not just a mountain of dust but also a witness to G-d; not just random molecules congealed after billions of years of evolution, but an agent of the Divine, conceived by G-d in love, and dispatched as a messenger, in order to link heaven and hearth.
From an early age, the little Jewish girls saw the tears which flowed from their mothers face while she kindled the Shabbat candles, praying for her family, and ushering in spiritual and physical light into her home. They loved the taste of her gefilte fish and challah; they were soothed by mom’s chicken-soup, and cherished the values and rituals of Jewish tradition: the fanatical love for children, the sanctity of family life, the belief that for intimacy to be intimate it must have boundaries.
The children of our people were profoundly moved by the Jewish idea that G-d reached out to a people, proposing a partnership whereby deed by deed and generation by generation, together they might fashion a living example of what it is to honor the image of G-d that is the human person and bring redemption to an aching world. When Jewish boys watched their fathers study Torah, they felt that a light radiated in their homes, the light we call the sechinah, the Divine indwelling presence, which bathes a Shabbat table or a family conversation with its beauty and its sense of eternity in the here-and-now.
The children of our people felt that to be a Jew is to be a member of the people of the covenant, an heir to one of the world's most ancient, enduring and awe-inspiring faiths. It is to inherit a way of life which is unique in its love of family, its devotion to education, its philanthropy, its social justice and its infinitely loyal dedication to a unique destiny.
Our children felt and saw that the fundamental idea of Judaism, that we bring G-d into the world through daily acts and interactions, lead ordinary people to live extraordinary lives.
And that made all the difference.
This was the secret of Jewish history. When a Jewish boy or girl peered into his or her father’s or mother’s heart, what did he or she see? Echad. One. Oneness. They observed the presence of harmony and unity, inspired by the one living G-d who dwelled in their holistic hearts. So the children’s hearts too became infused with Echad, with one.
21.
During World War Two, countless Jewish parents gave their precious children to Christian neighbors and orphanages in the hope that the latter would provide safe havens for them. The parents expected that they, or their relatives, would take these children back if they survived the war. The few parents who did not perish in the Holocaust, and were able to reclaim their children, often faced another horror. While the parents had summoned the strength to survive the slave labor and death camps, or had hidden out for years, those who took their children were busy teaching them the ways of other religions.
Additionally, many Jewish children who were taken in by orphanages, convents and the like, had no parents or close relatives left after the Holocaust. When rabbis or distant relatives finally tracked down many of these children, the priests and nuns who had been their caretakers insisted that no children from Jewish homes were in their institutions. Thus, countless Jewish children were not only stripped of their entire families, they were also stripped of their history.
In May, 1945, Rabbi Eliezer Silver from the United States and Dayan Grunfeld from England were sent as chaplains to assist some of the liberated Jews. While there, they were told that many Jewish children had been placed in a monastery in Alsace-Lorraine. The rabbis went there to reclaim them.
When they approached the priest in charge, they asked that the Jewish children be released into the rabbis' care. "I'm sorry," the priest responded, "but there is no way of knowing which children here came from Jewish families. You must have documentation if you wish me to do what you ask."
Of course, the kind of documentation that the priest wanted was unobtainable at the end of the war. The rabbis asked to see the list of names of children who were in the monastery. As the rabbis read the list, they pointed to those that belonged to Jewish children.
"I'm sorry," the priest insisted, "but the names that you pointed to could be either Jewish or Gentile. Miller is a German name, and Markovich is a Russian name, and Swersky is a Polis name. You can't prove that these are Jewish children. If you can't prove which children are Jewish, and do it very quickly, you will have to leave."
One of the rabbis had a brilliant idea. "We'd like to come back again this evening when you are putting the children to sleep."The priest reluctantly agreed.
That evening the rabbis came to the dormitory, where row upon row of little beds were arranged. The children, many of whom had been in the monastery since the war started in 1939, were going to sleep. The rabbis walked through the aisles of beds, calling out, "Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad,” Hear, Israel, the Lord is our G-d, the Lord is One! One by one, children burst into tears and shrieked, "Mommy!" "Maman!" "Momma!" "Mamushka!" in each of their native tongues.
The priest had succeeded in teaching these precious Jewish souls about the Trinity, the New Testament, and the Christian savior. Each child knew how to say Mass. But the priest did not succeed in erasing these children's memories of their Jewish mothers and fathers now murdered - putting them to bed every night with the Shema on their lips.The children were returned to our people.
Here, 3000 years later, the immortal words of the children of Jacob to their father on his deathbed, were reenacted. Keshem shein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One. The Shma Yisroel Hashem Elokanu Hashem Echad in the hearts of mothers and fathers, could not be erased from the hearts of their children.
22.
The local Hebrew School decided to observe Chanukah with a special ecumenical celebration, and invited everyone in the neighborhood, of whatever background, to participate in any way they thought appropriate, or to just come and observe, and have some home-baked cookies washed down with grape juice or heavy super-sweet wine.
There were speeches, dramatizations, and miscellaneous musical performances. At one point Mrs. Goldberg, in the third row, wiped away a tear as her little Miriam scratched out a hesitant rendition of "Havanu Sholom Aleichem" on a shiny new violin. Mrs. Goldberg noticed that a man seated next to her also had tears running down his face.
"Isn't it wonderful", she said to him, "to know that our heritage will be carried on by the next generation!"
"I suppose so," he said, "but I'm not Jewish."
“So why the tears?"
"I'm a musician…"
(Pause.)
He was wrong of course. Education is never about getting the notes right; it’s about getting the SOUL right.
23.
It is 6:00 in the evening. Dinner time. Your five-year-old notices the ice cream in the freezer. “Momi, can I have ice cream?”
“Sure, my love. First eat dinner, delicious tofu, salad, kinwa, and wholegrain pasta, which momi maid, and then you get ice cream.”
-- “No! I want it now.”
“Right after dinner,” my dear.
So your cute little boy breaks down crying. For 45 minutes he is begging, pleading, crying, yelling, beseeching. Of course, he “inspires” all of the other children to cry for the ice cream as well. You thought your day was coming to an end… but by now you are having migraines. You feel that you are about to go mad. After an hour of crying, you give in. The kids get their ice cream and they turn into cute little angels once again.
They have won the war.
The next day, you are in a store with the same little five-year-old. He asks you to buy him a treat hanging in the store. You look at it, and you see it has pork in it. You explain to your son, that it has pork, so you can’t get it.
And the child is: Okay. He is fine. He may ask you to examine the ingredients once more, but that’s it. No screaming, yelling, hollering.
Why? What happened? Why does he not scream for two hours till he gets it?
Because children are smarter than we often imagine. Yesterday he screamed because he knew that deep down you couldn’t care less if he eats ice cream before dinner. You are only SAYING that he can’t, but it is not a real deep-seated conviction. You know how he knew that secret?
Because he has seen you eating ice cream before dinner… So how bad could it be? It is just that last week you went to a seminar about nutrition and you decided to become a health freak. No more feeding junk to my kids. Next month you are likely to forget about it. So why should he suffer, just because you are going through one of your “health phases”? He loves ice cream, and he knows that if he screams for an hour, you will cave in. And you know what? He is right!
When it comes to pork, he knows that even if he screams for 4 hours, you will not give it to him. It is non-negotiable; it is an inner conviction that does not change. Since he knows that, even initially he does not make a fuss.
You see, my dear friends, WE are the ones who define what are children will accept or will argue about. If certain truths are non-negotiable in our own hearts, if we truly believe in certain ideals, if we are internally and earnestly committed to particular principles, and we live by them day-in day-out, when we are in a good mood and when we are in a bad mood, our children will happily embrace them. But if our “principles” are negotiable by us, we can’t expect our children to truly believe in them. If I am not really connected to it, why and how can they become connected to it?
24.
In my capacity as rabbi, I’m occasionally called by distraught parents devastated by the impending intermarriage of their son or daughter. In many cases, when I meet the boy or the girl, the story is often the same:
Mom and Dad sent me to Hebrew school, and gave me a bar or bat mitzvah. But they always sent me mixed messages. When I neglected my secular education, they were angry, but when I missed Hebrew lessons, they didn’t mind. I learned about the laws of Jewish life, but they did not seem to keep them, or if they did, they did so selectively. At my bar/bat mitzvah, they were more concerned about the catering than if I understood the words I recited in synagogue. As I grew older, they were more interested in which college I went to and which career I pursued than whether I was continuing to study and practice Judaism. They wanted me to marry a Jewish person, but gave me no real reason why.
[You can change it to: In my capacity as rabbi, I’m occasionally called by distraught parents devastated by the lack of sensitivity of their son or daughter to family values they hold so dear. In many cases, when I meet the boy or the girl, the story is often the same.]
It always reminds me of the anecdote:
Nine year old Timmy, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how G-d sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved, and the Egyptians drowned."
"Now, Timmy, is that really what your teacher taught you?" His mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"25.
So you may ask: Rabbi! What exactly do you want me to become? Mr. Religious? You know I’m not the type. I’m not a fanatic; I’m a rational, sober skeptic.
Friends! That’s exactly the point. I do not want you to become religious. Heaven forbid. That is not a Jewish thing to do. Especially not during the election season.
What I am suggesting to you is – that whatever it is in Judaism that you DO embrace, that you do identify with, that you do observe -- do it with all your heart.
My suggestion to you is to embrace one additional mitzvah in your life, and make it YOURS. Really yours. Let it not be a “religious thing,” let it not be a ritual, let it be an expression of your individuality, of your own personal, intimate relationship with yourself and with G-d.
If you have a Shabbat meal in your home, make it the center of your emotional life. Be present with all your heart. Love every minute of it. Your children will remember how much you enjoyed it, and I guarantee you that when they grow up, they will do the same in their own homes. What our parents love, we tend to love.
If you decide to engage in a little more Torah study this year, let it become a passion, a natural expression of who you are. Say over a Torah thought on your dinner table, not in order to share “religion” with your children, but because you are excited to share a meaningful thought with people you love.
And if you decide this year to come and pray more, do it with gusto, with sincerity, with earnestness. Talk to G-d like you talk to your best friend. And your children will carry that in their hearts forever.
What we love, our children will usually love. What we are passionate about -- our children will more-often-than-not be passionate about. Children are the mirrors of our hearts.
26.
In Russia, there were unique synagogues known as a Cantonist Shul.
The Cantonists were Jews who from 1825-1840 were forcibly conscripted into the Russian Czar's army from as early as the age of 10, and obligated to serve for 25 years. They would be kidnapped from their parents' home, tortured repeatedly until they either accepted Christianity or died of their wounds.
They were starved, beaten and lashed, often with whips fashioned from their own confiscated tefillin. In their malnourished states, the open wounds on their chests and backs would turn septic and many boys, who had heroically resisted renouncing their Judaism for months, would either perish or cave in and consent to the show baptism. The Czar would have only reliable Christian Russians defending the motherland.
To avoid this horrific fate, some parents actually had their sons' limbs amputated in the forests at the hands of local blacksmiths, and their sons -- no longer able bodied -- would avoid conscription. Many other children tragically committed suicide rather than convert. It is one of the darkest, most ragic stories in our long history.
Some 40,000 young Jewish boys were forced into Czar Nicholas' army, and very few emerged alive as practicing Jews.
The brave few survivors who secretly maintained their faith and managed to return to their families 25 years later, found it hard to integrate into the regular community. They were illiterate, uneducated, have lived among gentiles for 25 years. So they build their own shuls in order to things “their own way.”
My grandfather told me that he once attended the Cantonist Shul on Simchat Torah. The Cantonists could dance like Cossacks. They were huge, strong men, and the heavy Torah scrolls would seem like toothpicks in their arms. They effortlessly danced on for hours on end. Many Jews from different synagogues came to see them dance. Truth be told, some of these Jews sadly and foolishly looked a little down at these soldiers. They looked like Cossacks, and in a way they were very crass and uncultured. It was not their fault, but you know how people are sometimes…
Then for the final hakafah (circuit around the synagogue's central lectern), the Cantonists, as if on cue, suddenly removed their shirts in unison! With the Torahs held tightly to their bare skin which was covered with the most horrible welts and scars you ever saw, they danced around even more energetically. Their smiles and joy were now giving way to streams of tears flowing from the cheeks of the learned Jews who came to watch them.
The learned Jews were all thinking the same thoughts: We may have studied and observed this Torah, but these holy Jews gave their bodies and lives for it. The Torah is theirs, far more than it is ours!
Theirs was not a Torah of sermons and words; it was a Torah of life, of experience, of extraordinary self sacrifice. For them, Torah and their bare skin have become ONE.
27.
One of the most famous secular professors in Israel, a professor of English literature, came to a rabbi in 1968 (5) and said that he wanted to repent for his war against Judaism. He wanted to devote his life to Jewish education.
The rabbi was so surprised and said, "Why?"
He said, "I'll tell you why. You may not have heard, but I was in the tank corps during the 1967 war in the Golan. My tank was destroyed and everybody in my tank died, but me. I was lying, bleeding on the Golan and nobody could find me. For two hours I was bleeding.
“’I'll bleed to death in these two hours,’ I thought. So I tried to comfort myself. I said, 'How shall I comfort myself?' I started to think about my scholarly field of English literature. I began reviewing Shakespeare and Faulkner, Dickens and Hemingway, great and interesting stories, but they provided me no comfort.
"As I was crying, in such pain and fearful of my death, and overtaken by grief that I'd never see my family again, I suddenly remembered my Zayde. This is going back many decades, and I remembered me, as a little boy, walking hand-in-hand with him to shul on Shabbat.
"Then I remembered the great joy of being on my father's shoulders for Simchas Torah as we danced with the Torahs. Peace came over me. I remembered my mother standing next to my grandmother lighting Shabbat candles week after week, as a little boy. Those memories filled me with such joy and peace.
"I knew that I was comforted in my dying moments by those memories. So I started to cry even more, because I realized that I was not transmitting any of these memories to my children. What will they have to remember?
The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. I said to myself: It's my time to transfer these beautiful memories to my children and grandchildren as my father and my zeide, my mother and my bubbe, did with me. I don't want to deny them these powerful memories that can enrich you not just the last two hours of your life, but all of your life.
"So I'm telling you, rabbi, I'm going to devote my life to Jewish education.”
28.
(Speak slowly)
My dear friends, on this Rosh Hashanah, let us ask ourselves this question: What are the memories you and I will be giving OUR children?
Thank you and Shanah Tovah!
~~~~~~~~
Footnotes:
1. Sichas 6 Tishrei 5727.
2. Genesis 18:19.
3) 3. Genesis 22:7-8.
4) 4. Pesachim 56a.
5) 5. R. Shlomo Carlebach a”h shared this story about himself.
copyright 2008 by Rabbi YY Jacobson.
- Comment
Class Summary:
B”H.
Rosh Hashanah 5769
The Mirror of Your Heart
By Rabbi YY Jacobson
Summary:
The only conversation that takes place between the first Jewish father and the first Jewish child is when Abraham is about to sacrifice Isaac. None of the biblical Matriarchs ever communicate with their children. What does this tell us about the secret of Jewish education? And how did hundreds of generations of Jews manage to inspire their children? It was never through sermons, only by demonstrating the richness, depth and beauty of Judaism.
This sermon – sprinkled with many moving stories and anecdotes -- captures the power of passionate Jewish living and its timeless impact on our loved ones, coupled with practical suggestions.
Note:
The sermon is long. But you can EASILY shorten it to your liking, by skipping any or all of chapters 3, 6, 10, 12, 14, 17, 22, 23, 24, 26.
Suggestion:
Reflect on the ideas in your own mind; internalize them to make them your own. Allow the structure to resonate with you internally. Analyze your audience and what would be particularly meaningful to them.
1.
An Italian, a Frenchman and a Jew arrive in Heaven and each is judged. The angel escorts the Frenchman to his heavenly reward. They enter a beautifully arranged banqueting hall with all the foods that a French connoisseur could dream of.
The Frenchman turns to the angel and says, "This can't be mine. There must be some mistake. I was immoral most of my life and I was hardly G-d fearing."
The angel replies, "There is no mistake. These delicacies are yours but there is a catch. Every day at 5:00 pm they will bring in a large pot of soup that is boiling hot. You will be immersed in it. If you can take the pain you can partake of the banquet."
"Sorry" said the Frenchman "I just could not tolerate the pain."
The Italian, too, is taken to his reward a similar banquet with pasta and all the best Italian food you can wish for on Rosh Hashanah.
Again a similar dialogue takes place, the Italian admitting to a life of financial fraud and corruption. "This can't be mine. There must be some mistake.”
He too is advised that at 5:00pm each day he will be immersed in a boiling hot pot of minestrone soup and he again states that the pain would be too much to bear. It’s just not worth it.
Finally the Jew is taken to his eternal rewards. They enter a beautifully arranged banqueting hall with all the foods that a Jew can only dream of... Chopped liver, kugel, gefilte fish, sweet herring, salty herring, kishke, cholent, sushi, beef lo mein, and of course, the most beloved food for Jewish men – tofu and soy beans.
He too cannot believe his luck.
"This can't be mine. There must be some mistake. I never went to Shul, I never did anything Jewish… How can this be mine?"
Again the same response: "5:00 pm each day, you will be immersed into boiling hot chicken soup with kneidalach. If you can take the pain the banquet is yours."
"Fine", said Yankel, "I'll take it".
The angel is stunned. “The Frenchman and Italian – and countless other gentiles – have declined the offer; what makes you different?"
Yenkel responds: "What should I tell you? I know Jewish functions all too well. 5:00 is not 5:00 and the soup is never that hot."
Well, welcome all to one of the great Jewish functions of the year. But one in which we are both on schedule, and the “spiritual meal” offered is hot, delicious and fulfilling.
2.
What is Rosh Hashana? What would we expect the Torah and Haftorah readings for these days to be? What is the message of the day?
It is, as we say in our prayers, the anniversary of creation. Hayom harat olam - today, the universe was born. The logical thing then would be to read about the creation of the universe and the creation of the first human beings, Adam and Eve.
What do we read instead? On Day one, we read about the birth of the first Jewish child, Isaac, and about a discovered well of water which saved a young child, Yishmael, dehydration. As the haftorah, we read about an individual woman’s prayer for a child. Hannah pours her heart out to G-d that she wants a child, and G-d fulfills her prayer. Samuel is born.
On Day two of Rosh Hashanah, we read about the binding of Isaac and his deliverance. As the haftorah, we read Jeremiah 31 in which the prophet speaks of Rachel "weeping for her children" and G-d comforts her saying, "Restrain your voice from weeping. Your children will return to their land."
3.
Four Jewish ladies, at a resort in the Catskills, were in rockers on the veranda and admiring the scenery. After a while the first woman sighed, "Oy!" The others sighed sympathetically. Then the second woman sighed, "Oy Vey!" The others nodded. A third woman said, "Oy, Gottenyu!" The others nodded as if in agreement. Finally, the fourth woman said, "Enough talk about the children. Let's go for a walk!"
4.
And this is exactly what we do on Rosh Hashanah: We talk about the children. All four readings of Rosh Hashanah are not about the creation of the cosmos, the creation of the human race, the future of the universe, or cosmic, universal ideals, but rather about individual parents waiting for years to have a child, and finally being blessed with children and raising them. Why?
Because Judaism always understood that children are the center of the universe. We celebrate existence by celebrating our children. Each child must know that he is a miracle akin to the miracle of creation. Each child must know that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him or her.
That is how Judaism, the West's oldest faith, has for 4,000 years stayed young while other civilizations grew old and disappeared. Judaism survived because it never lost its love of children, it never lost its radical and magical infatuation with children, and it never forgot what that means by way of building homes, schools and communities to pass our values and blessings on across the generations.
Judaism is the most child-centered of all faiths. The first mitzvah in the entire Torah, the first command G-d gave the first humans, was to have children. Abraham, Genesis tells us, was loved by G-d “because he will instruct his children and his household after him to keep the way of G-d, doing what is right and just.” The Shema commands us to “Teach these things diligently to your children, speaking of them when you sit at home and when you journey on the way, when you lie down and when you rise up.”
5.
How desperately we need that message today. At some stage, not very long ago, we lost sight of this truth. We put adults before children, and pleasure before responsibility. Ours is a society is almost unique in believing that you can have intimacy without commitment, families without marriage, or children without the stable presence of parents. In a single generation, marriage and the family were lost for so many.
6.
There is a story about a father who came home from work late again, tired and irritated. He found his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
"Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the father.
"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"
"What makes you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want to know . . . please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.
"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."
"Oh...!" the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"
The father was mad. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you better march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish games."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. How dare he asks such questions only to get some money.
After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep son?" he asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man. "It's been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's the $10.00 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you daddy," he yelled. Then reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man seeing that the boy already had money started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money then looked up at the man.
"Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"
7.
So on Rosh Hashanah, when we celebrate the magic of creation, we celebrate the world’s greatest and most extraordinary miracle: Children. According to the great mystics, Rosh Hashanah is the most auspicious time to pray for our children (1). Weather we have children, or we are hoping to have children in the future, or we ARE children -- and most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children -- this is the time to focus on our children, to love them even more, to pray for them, to reflect on their lives and on their needs, to connect to them in the deepest way possible.
[You may want to give a warm, emotional blessing to all of the children of your community].
8.
People often ask me: Rabbi, how can I be sure that my children will share the Jewish values and beliefs that I hold dear? The world has changed so much since I was young, and I can only imagine how much more it will change by the time my children grow up. How can I pass on my convictions to my children?
They are right. Times HAVE changed, and we are beginning to sense how suddenly and radically they have changed. We had grown used to a situation in which Jewish identity was passed on through the generations by habit, memory, external events and an inescapable sense that being Jewish is what we are. Belatedly we have discovered that for our children, being Jewish is no more than a matter of choice. They know that they can choose otherwise, if not for themselves, then for their children. How Do I make sure my grandchildren will be Jewish and proud Jews?
This is the issue I want to address today.
9.
It is said that Artur Schnabel was once asked, “How do you play pianos so well?” He answered, "The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes -- ah, that is where the art resides."
One of the profoundest ideas presented in Judaism on the art of raising children and on the meaning of education is conveyed via the silent pauses which characterize the relationship between the first Jewish parents and their children in the Bible.
Let me ask you a question: How many conversations do you suppose take place in the Bible between the first Jewish father, Abraham, and his son, Isaac? [You may want to request the crowd to answer and take a few answers.]
We would expect perhaps 5, 10, or 15 conversations between them. After all, Abraham was waiting 100 years for his boychik to arrive. He pleaded with G-d numerous times to grant him a child. Finally, the child arrives. We’d assume, the father wouldn’t stop conversing with his boy.
In reality, in the entire long story of Abraham in the book of Genesis, there is only one conversation found between them.
And when does that conversation take place? On the way to sacrificing Isaac at the famous episode of the akeidah (the binding of Isaac), the heart-stirring and awe-inspiring story read on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.
Imagine: The Bible does not record even a single conversation between the first Jewish father and the first Jewish child except when the father is on the way to sacrifice his son; when he has become the target of Abraham’s faith…
Note: The rabbis tell us that Isaac was 37 at the time. He was certainly not a young child, as he is old enough to travel three days with Abraham but without his mother. His conversation with Abraham is that of an older child or a young adult. Finally, Isaac is the one who carries the wood for the sacrifice up the mountain.
He also was most certainly not a teenager. How do I know? Because killing your teenage son is not a difficult test… Many fathers would be just happy…
10.
I once heard a Jewish personality remark that the Torah was teaching us precisely what a father ought NOT to do – to never talk to his child, except when he is about to kill him for his faith…
With all due respect, that man got it wrong. Besides the fact that the same Bible (2) quotes G-d as saying that he chose Abraham precisely “Because he will instruct his children and his household after him to keep the way of G-d, doing what is right and just.” Apparently, Abraham DID dedicate himself to raising and educating his family.
But in addition, I want to ask you lend a sensitive ear to the actual conversation that takes place between Abraham and Isaac on the way to the binding. Then YOU tell me weather these two people have a relationship or not.
(Speak slowly. This is emotional). Here is the literal translation from the original Hebrew:
Isaac said to his father Abraham, and he said: Avi! My Father!
And Abraham said: Hinani Veni! I am here, my son!
And Isaac said: The fire and wood are here, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?
And Abraham answered: G-d himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son. And they walked together.
How many redundancies do you encounter in this exchange? At least four.
1. “Isaac said to his father Abraham.” Well we all know by now that Abraham was Isaac’s father. Why the repetition?
2. “Isaac said to Abraham his father, and he said…” The verse already stated, “Isaac said,” why state it again: “Isaac said to Abraham his father, and he said…”
3. Instead of telling us what Isaac actually said to Abraham, the Bible states, that he said Avi! My father. Only after his father’s response, would the Bible repeat for a THIRD time “and he said…,” asking his father where is the sheep for the offering.
4. And Abraham said: Hinani Veni! I am here, my son! Why not get straight to the point, tell us what Isaac asked his father and Abraham’s response to him. Why must we first become aware of the way Abraham responded: Hinani Veni, I am here, my son.
It is clear to me, that each of these redundancies is attempting to demonstrate the deeply pulsating love between father and son.
Let’s be honest: When was the last time YOUR son approached you and said Dad! And instead of just saying, “Yes, go ahead,” or “I am busy now, come back soon,” “Don’t you see I’m on the computer, leave me alone,” you just stopped, looked him in the eyes, and said (speak slowly): Hinani Veni! I am here, my son!
And let us remember: “Hinani” was the same word Abraham used when G-d summoned him initially and told him to go sacrifice his son. This is the exact term Abraham uses once more when his son reaches out to him during their three-day journey. Abraham says Hinani to his child just as he said Hinani to G-d.
And if so, why is this conversation the ONLY one recorded between father and son in all of the Torah?
11.
How about between mother and son? Between Sarah and Isaac?
-- You know the story of the little Jewish boy who was telling his mother about how he had won a part in a play that was being done at school. His mother asked, "What is the part you will play, Saul?" Saul responded, "I shall play the Jewish husband," to which the mother replied, "Well, you go right back to that teacher and tell her that you want a SPEAKING part!"
So nu, if Abraham was silent, at least we would expect Sarah to be speaking to Isaac.
After all, Sarah was so protective of Isaac: She had Ishmael expelled from the home because he was abusing Isaac. She was a classic Yiddish mame. The first Jewish mother in history…
-- A young Jewish man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder. "Every thought I have turns to my mother," he told the psychiatrist. "As soon as I fall asleep and being to dream, everyone in my dream turns into my mother.
“Last night I even had a dream that YOU were my mother. I wake up so upset that all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast. And I came running here for the session."
The psychiatrist replied, "What, just one piece of toast for a big boy like you?"
Sarah too waited for 90 years for this boy. We could certainly expect many a conversation between mother and son.
But no! Not even a single conversation between them, in the entire Bible. For nine decades she is waiting for this boy, and then when he comes, they don’t talk!
How about the second generation of Jews? How many conversations does the Torah record between Rebecca (Isaac’s wife) and her son Jacob?
That’s right! Only one. Its content? Go get your father’s blessings before your brother gets them…
And between Isaac and his son Jacob? Again, one conversation. Its theme? Get out of the home and go find yourself a sheduch, a nice girl…
Let’s examine the third generation of Jews: Between Rachel-Leah and their children? Not a single conversation in the entire book of Genesis.
[And between Jacob, and his children? Almost no verbal communication, besides for chastising two of his children for what they did in Sechem (known today as Nablus), sending Joseph away from home and negotiating with his children their travels to and from Egypt. Only on his death bed does Jacob finally address his children as a father to children.
What is the meaning behind all of this? Did our great forefathers and foremothers, the founders of Judaism, not believe in verbally communicating with their children?
Now, I am sure that our Patriarchs and Matriarchs enjoyed many long conversations with their children. Our passion for talking and talking and talking must have come from somewhere… What is bothering me is this: What is the message the Torah is attempting to convey to us by not mentioning almost any verbal communication between the first Jewish parents and their children?
It is in this silence, my friends, through which the Torah communicates to us the most important lesson about education.
The message is captured in a most powerful way in the following Talmudic story (4).
The Talmud relates that when our father Jacob was on his deathbed, surrounded by all of his children, he suddenly felt that the Divine presence, the Shechinah, departed from him. He was overtaken by dread and fear that one of his children present in the room was living an immoral life, and that is why the Sechinah has left him. The old father confronted his children asking if perhaps one of them was has corrupted his ways, betraying the values Jacob attempted to inculcate within his children?
His sons responded with most famous Jewish declaration, “Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad. Listen Israel – Jacob’s name was Israel -- the Lord is Our God, the Lord is One. Keshem sheein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One."
[At that moment Jacob responded and said, "Boruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Leolam Vaed, Blessed be the honorable name of His kingdom forever and ever."]
Let us listen to their words carefully: “Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One.” Yet the first half of their statement seems superfluous. We know that in Jacob’s heart there was only One G-d. That was not up for discussion. The question was what is going on in THEIR heart. All they needed to say was, “Listen father, in OUR heart there is only one?”
12.
There was once a new rabbi who came to his first pulpit. And on the first Shabbat that he was there, he delivered a good sermon. Afterwards, everyone congratulated him, they all loved the sermon.
The next Shabbat, everyone came to shul, ready to hear the rabbi's words. But he gave the same sermon. I don't just mean a similar sermon, I mean the same exact sermon, word for word. No one knew what to say, so they went home quietly.
The third week, the rabbi got up to speak, the congregation was perfectly still, and lo and behold, again the same sermon. Word for word.
This time they had to do something, so the president and the search committee were designated to go and speak with the rabbi. They made an appointment and came into his office. “Rabbi, it is so wonderful to have you here and we want you to feel very comfortable, but there is just one thing that is causing some concern. The first week you were here, you gave a very good sermon, and the second week, you gave the same sermon, and this week again the same exact sermon?!”
The rabbi was unperturbed. “Well of course I gave the same sermon; you're still acting in the same way!”
13.
The first thing that our Patriarchs and Matriarchs understood about communication and education was how wrong this rabbi was, how detached he was from his audience. Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebeccah, Jacob and Rachel and Leah, knew that sermons, speeches and lectures will never do the trick. It’s all about the HEART.
Years ago I came across a one-liner that had a profound impact on me personally: "Every rabbi has only one sermon -- the way he lives his life." It's all too true. We can preach from today until next Rosh Hashanah, but if we don't "walk the talk" and live the game we purport to play, we will leave our audiences unmoved, cold, and apathetic. The most eloquent orators will fail to make an impression if their listeners know that their message is hollow and isn't backed up by genuine personal commitment.
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
The first Jewish parents understood very well that the real great sermons of life are never comprised of words, sentences, eloquent diction and perfected prose; the great sermons are created out of three materials: Conviction, love and actions.
Listen once more to the words of tribes of Israel to their father Jacob while he lay on his deathbed wondering if he failed to educate them appropriately: Keshem shein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One." The first half of their sentence was not superfluous. What they were saying is -- the reason there is in our heart only One, is because our hearts reflect and mirror YOUR heart, and in your heart there is only One. Children are the mirror of their parents’ hearts, not of their words. Jacob or father, since in your heart there was one, our heart too is saturated with the one living G-d.
14.
Political scientists have long found that 4 out of 5 people with a party preference grow up to vote the way their parents voted. If you are voting McCain, expect your children to vote Republican when they grow up. If you’re voting Obama, they will usually follow suit. In fact, while many people experience a temporary rejection of their parents’ politics in very early adulthood, virtually nothing is more predictive of your political ideology than that of your parents—it’s more of a determining factor than income, education or any other societal yardstick.
15.
This is the message the Torah is attempting to convey to us by not recording the speeches Sarah gave her son Isaac, or Rebecca gave her son Jacob, or Rachel -- her son Joseph. Values are caught, not taught. Sarah did not preach, pontificate or give sermons to Isaac. She did not educate him through lectures. Sarah was comfortable with herself; she loved what she did, she was passionate about her convictions and her faith, and she lived them. Isaac needed only to look into his mother’s eyes when she was lighting the Shabbat candles, and he learnt what he needed to learn about serenity, self-confidence, love and spirituality. Isaac needed only to watch his father interact with his guests, and he learnt all he needed to learn about compassion and generosity of spirit, about tekun olam, and honoring the image of G-d in the other human being.
It is through your silence – far more than through your verbal communication -- that you educate your children. It is about who you are, not what you say. What you truly believe in, in the depth of your soul, your children will carry with them. Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children, and our worlds play a small part in that deposit.
Mark Twain once said: When I was eight, my father was a genius; when I was eighteen – he was a moron. Now, I’m 28, I have a few kids of my own, and I see that my father has some good ideas. It’s funny how much the old man learnt in ten years…
Sure, our children go through their rebellious stages. At the age of 14, they are usually taught the 11th commandment – thou shall disobey your father and your mother… But at the end, they usually gravitate to the ideals, values and passions that have been ingrained in their psyches not so much from the sermons of their parents, as much as from the way of life and the authentic convictions of their parents.
Our Patriarchs and Matriarchs educated and inspired their children through their PRESENCE.
16.
There is only one VERBAL speech that IS recorded between Abraham and Isaac. And that is the one taking place on the way to the binding of Isaac, in a moment of supreme self sacrifice, both for a loving father and a beautiful child.
Why? The Torah is teaching us that the only conversation between a father and a son that would be recorded in a timeless divine blueprint for life, in the Torah, is one that takes place a midst a moment of self-transcendence and self sacrifice. The only conversations between parents and children that are truly timeless and eternal are those in which the child hears not only words, but the readiness of his or her parent to sacrifice for these words and values.
Think of yourselves: Which aspects of your own parents’ lives have you you’re your own? Which lessons of your parents still summon you and challenge you today? Is it the chastising speeches your father or mother gave you, or is it those things you knew your parents were ready to sacrifice for?
17.
Several years ago there was a commemoration for the sixtieth anniversary of Kinder-transport, the operation to rescue thousands of Jewish children from Germany and Austria where they faced almost certain death. More than 1,000 of those who made the journey had come together from across the world to London to remember. They recalled those fearful days when they waved goodbye to their parents, often never to see them again, and travelled to safety in a strange land.
One speech that day came from the film producer Lord Attenborough. In 1939 he and his family were living in Leicester. His parents had offered refuge to a number of Jewish children escaping from Germany, on their way to the United States. When war was declared, two Jewish girls were staying with them. They realized that they would now be unable to cross the Atlantic. What was to be done?
The Attenboroughs decided that they would offer the girls a home for the duration of the war, but they felt that it was a decision that could only be made as a family. Richard described how his parents called him and his two brothers into the study and told them the situation. They explained that the two girls, Helga and Irene, were Jewish. Their parents had been sent to concentration camps and were unlikely to survive. The girls had no one to care for them and nowhere to go.
Sixty years on, Lord Attenborough recalled his parents’ words. “We want to adopt the girls. We think it is the right thing to do. But we will only do it if you agree. It will call for sacrifices. We were a family of five. No we will be a family of seven. There will be things we won’t be able to afford. There will be things you’ll have to share. One of those will be love. You know how much we love you. But now you will have to share that love with Helga and Irene. We will have to show them special affection, because you have a family, but now they have no one at all.”
The boys agreed. Thinking back to that day across six decades, Lord Attenborough described it as the most important day of his life. It transformed him forever.
18.
This is not just a story that occurred 65 years ago. It happened with one of my dear colleagues, merely 24 months ago.
When the judge gave the Jewish community of Cordoba, Argentina, ten days to find a home for three abandoned Jewish children or they would be given into the care of a local church-run children’s shelter, Chabad Ambassadors to Cordoba, Rabbi Yossi and Chana Turk, made a decision that altered the course of their and their children’s lives. They adopted Gavriel, 6; Nicola, 4, and Candelaria, 2.
Now instead of eight children, the Turks have eleven. [It is what we call Family Planning, Chabad style…]
When the Turks went to pick up the Perlmutter children, state shelter workers had one request. The sneakers the children were wearing should be returned. They were shelter property.
At the doorway of the shelter, the children were apprehensive. In their short lives, after their father died and their mother had abandoned them, after being jostled from aunts to uncles to distant relatives who could not care for them, the three children had never seen a normal family life. But they decided to go along.
First stop, the shoe store.
Basic hygiene was unknown to the children. All three – including the six-year-old -- were still in diapers. Regular baths, hair combing, three daily meals, all that our children take for granted, was new. Even the existence of children’s books was a revelation.
Now, before the three children could start their new lives, the Turks had to pass an evaluation by a state-sponsored psychologist. With eight kids of their own, doubtless the Turks had plenty of experience. But would they, an already large family, qualify? Chana Turk worried.
On the appointed date, the psychologist greeted them with a warm smile. “Rabbi Turk, don’t you remember me?” she said. Rabbi Turk drew a blank and asked the psychologist to fill him in on the connection. Six years ago, when the Turks celebrated their tenth year in Cordoba, Argentina’s second largest city, a ten hours’ drive from Buenos Aires, the Jewish senator who was attending the banquet brought a guest, who was none other than the psychologist….
The Turks spent much time with their own children making sure that they would not feel resentment.
19.
You see, friends, the Turk children – G-d bless them – just like Lord Attenborough, will not have to hear sermons from their parents about Tikkun Olam, about loving humanity, about the dignity of courage, and the blessings of generosity. They look into their Mom’s eyes each day and they know the meaning of Ahavat Yisroel, of love toward a fellow Jew; they look into their Dad’s eyes each night and they know what it means to be Jew -- to be there with your heart and soul for three Yiddishe kinderlach who would otherwise be destined to a life of poverty, hopelessness and misery.
They see and feel what their parents are ready to sacrifice for. And that makes all the difference.
Suppose our greatest leader would debate Barak Obama today, who would win the debate?
Of course, Obama! Moses, our greatest leader and teacher, could barely communicate verbally. He had a terrible stutter. So why didn’t Judaism find somebody more appropriate to articulate our message?
The answer, you may by now guess. Because Judaism always understood that its message, its truths, its music would not survive thousands of years through brilliant and articulate sermons alone, but through individual men and women who are passionate about it in their daily acts and interactions. For that, there was no better row-model than Moses.
20.
What was it that Jewish parents, throughout our long and painful history, demonstrated to their children? How did hundreds of generations of Jews manage to inspire their children to cling to their faith, often amidst unbearable conditions? What was their secret?
Our great-great grand parents exposed their children to an inner universe, a world often impoverished financially, but incredibly rich internally. Jewish children saw a life based on commitment, faith, deep moral conviction, and the belief that a human being was created not just to be comfortable, but to serve G-d. They witnessed the beauty of Shabbat, the depth of Torah, the ecstasy of prayer, the holiness of mitzvot. They were in awe of the basic Jewish notion that a human being is not just a mountain of dust but also a witness to G-d; not just random molecules congealed after billions of years of evolution, but an agent of the Divine, conceived by G-d in love, and dispatched as a messenger, in order to link heaven and hearth.
From an early age, the little Jewish girls saw the tears which flowed from their mothers face while she kindled the Shabbat candles, praying for her family, and ushering in spiritual and physical light into her home. They loved the taste of her gefilte fish and challah; they were soothed by mom’s chicken-soup, and cherished the values and rituals of Jewish tradition: the fanatical love for children, the sanctity of family life, the belief that for intimacy to be intimate it must have boundaries.
The children of our people were profoundly moved by the Jewish idea that G-d reached out to a people, proposing a partnership whereby deed by deed and generation by generation, together they might fashion a living example of what it is to honor the image of G-d that is the human person and bring redemption to an aching world. When Jewish boys watched their fathers study Torah, they felt that a light radiated in their homes, the light we call the sechinah, the Divine indwelling presence, which bathes a Shabbat table or a family conversation with its beauty and its sense of eternity in the here-and-now.
The children of our people felt that to be a Jew is to be a member of the people of the covenant, an heir to one of the world's most ancient, enduring and awe-inspiring faiths. It is to inherit a way of life which is unique in its love of family, its devotion to education, its philanthropy, its social justice and its infinitely loyal dedication to a unique destiny.
Our children felt and saw that the fundamental idea of Judaism, that we bring G-d into the world through daily acts and interactions, lead ordinary people to live extraordinary lives.
And that made all the difference.
This was the secret of Jewish history. When a Jewish boy or girl peered into his or her father’s or mother’s heart, what did he or she see? Echad. One. Oneness. They observed the presence of harmony and unity, inspired by the one living G-d who dwelled in their holistic hearts. So the children’s hearts too became infused with Echad, with one.
21.
During World War Two, countless Jewish parents gave their precious children to Christian neighbors and orphanages in the hope that the latter would provide safe havens for them. The parents expected that they, or their relatives, would take these children back if they survived the war. The few parents who did not perish in the Holocaust, and were able to reclaim their children, often faced another horror. While the parents had summoned the strength to survive the slave labor and death camps, or had hidden out for years, those who took their children were busy teaching them the ways of other religions.
Additionally, many Jewish children who were taken in by orphanages, convents and the like, had no parents or close relatives left after the Holocaust. When rabbis or distant relatives finally tracked down many of these children, the priests and nuns who had been their caretakers insisted that no children from Jewish homes were in their institutions. Thus, countless Jewish children were not only stripped of their entire families, they were also stripped of their history.
In May, 1945, Rabbi Eliezer Silver from the United States and Dayan Grunfeld from England were sent as chaplains to assist some of the liberated Jews. While there, they were told that many Jewish children had been placed in a monastery in Alsace-Lorraine. The rabbis went there to reclaim them.
When they approached the priest in charge, they asked that the Jewish children be released into the rabbis' care. "I'm sorry," the priest responded, "but there is no way of knowing which children here came from Jewish families. You must have documentation if you wish me to do what you ask."
Of course, the kind of documentation that the priest wanted was unobtainable at the end of the war. The rabbis asked to see the list of names of children who were in the monastery. As the rabbis read the list, they pointed to those that belonged to Jewish children.
"I'm sorry," the priest insisted, "but the names that you pointed to could be either Jewish or Gentile. Miller is a German name, and Markovich is a Russian name, and Swersky is a Polis name. You can't prove that these are Jewish children. If you can't prove which children are Jewish, and do it very quickly, you will have to leave."
One of the rabbis had a brilliant idea. "We'd like to come back again this evening when you are putting the children to sleep."
The priest reluctantly agreed.
That evening the rabbis came to the dormitory, where row upon row of little beds were arranged. The children, many of whom had been in the monastery since the war started in 1939, were going to sleep. The rabbis walked through the aisles of beds, calling out, "Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad,” Hear, Israel, the Lord is our G-d, the Lord is One! One by one, children burst into tears and shrieked, "Mommy!" "Maman!" "Momma!" "Mamushka!" in each of their native tongues.
The priest had succeeded in teaching these precious Jewish souls about the Trinity, the New Testament, and the Christian savior. Each child knew how to say Mass. But the priest did not succeed in erasing these children's memories of their Jewish mothers and fathers now murdered - putting them to bed every night with the Shema on their lips.
The children were returned to our people.
Here, 3000 years later, the immortal words of the children of Jacob to their father on his deathbed, were reenacted. Keshem shein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One. The Shma Yisroel Hashem Elokanu Hashem Echad in the hearts of mothers and fathers, could not be erased from the hearts of their children.
22.
The local Hebrew School decided to observe Chanukah with a special ecumenical celebration, and invited everyone in the neighborhood, of whatever background, to participate in any way they thought appropriate, or to just come and observe, and have some home-baked cookies washed down with grape juice or heavy super-sweet wine.
There were speeches, dramatizations, and miscellaneous musical performances. At one point Mrs. Goldberg, in the third row, wiped away a tear as her little Miriam scratched out a hesitant rendition of "Havanu Sholom Aleichem" on a shiny new violin. Mrs. Goldberg noticed that a man seated next to her also had tears running down his face.
"Isn't it wonderful", she said to him, "to know that our heritage will be carried on by the next generation!"
"I suppose so," he said, "but I'm not Jewish."
“So why the tears?"
"I'm a musician…"
(Pause.)
He was wrong of course. Education is never about getting the notes right; it’s about getting the SOUL right.
23.
It is 6:00 in the evening. Dinner time. Your five-year-old notices the ice cream in the freezer. “Momi, can I have ice cream?”
“Sure, my love. First eat dinner, delicious tofu, salad, kinwa, and wholegrain pasta, which momi maid, and then you get ice cream.”
-- “No! I want it now.”
“Right after dinner,” my dear.
So your cute little boy breaks down crying. For 45 minutes he is begging, pleading, crying, yelling, beseeching. Of course, he “inspires” all of the other children to cry for the ice cream as well. You thought your day was coming to an end… but by now you are having migraines. You feel that you are about to go mad. After an hour of crying, you give in. The kids get their ice cream and they turn into cute little angels once again.
They have won the war.
The next day, you are in a store with the same little five-year-old. He asks you to buy him a treat hanging in the store. You look at it, and you see it has pork in it. You explain to your son, that it has pork, so you can’t get it.
And the child is: Okay. He is fine. He may ask you to examine the ingredients once more, but that’s it. No screaming, yelling, hollering.
Why? What happened? Why does he not scream for two hours till he gets it?
Because children are smarter than we often imagine. Yesterday he screamed because he knew that deep down you couldn’t care less if he eats ice cream before dinner. You are only SAYING that he can’t, but it is not a real deep-seated conviction. You know how he knew that secret?
Because he has seen you eating ice cream before dinner… So how bad could it be? It is just that last week you went to a seminar about nutrition and you decided to become a health freak. No more feeding junk to my kids. Next month you are likely to forget about it. So why should he suffer, just because you are going through one of your “health phases”? He loves ice cream, and he knows that if he screams for an hour, you will cave in. And you know what? He is right!
When it comes to pork, he knows that even if he screams for 4 hours, you will not give it to him. It is non-negotiable; it is an inner conviction that does not change. Since he knows that, even initially he does not make a fuss.
You see, my dear friends, WE are the ones who define what are children will accept or will argue about. If certain truths are non-negotiable in our own hearts, if we truly believe in certain ideals, if we are internally and earnestly committed to particular principles, and we live by them day-in day-out, when we are in a good mood and when we are in a bad mood, our children will happily embrace them. But if our “principles” are negotiable by us, we can’t expect our children to truly believe in them. If I am not really connected to it, why and how can they become connected to it?
24.
In my capacity as rabbi, I’m occasionally called by distraught parents devastated by the impending intermarriage of their son or daughter. In many cases, when I meet the boy or the girl, the story is often the same:
Mom and Dad sent me to Hebrew school, and gave me a bar or bat mitzvah. But they always sent me mixed messages. When I neglected my secular education, they were angry, but when I missed Hebrew lessons, they didn’t mind. I learned about the laws of Jewish life, but they did not seem to keep them, or if they did, they did so selectively. At my bar/bat mitzvah, they were more concerned about the catering than if I understood the words I recited in synagogue. As I grew older, they were more interested in which college I went to and which career I pursued than whether I was continuing to study and practice Judaism. They wanted me to marry a Jewish person, but gave me no real reason why.
[You can change it to: In my capacity as rabbi, I’m occasionally called by distraught parents devastated by the lack of sensitivity of their son or daughter to family values they hold so dear. In many cases, when I meet the boy or the girl, the story is often the same.]
It always reminds me of the anecdote:
Nine year old Timmy, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how G-d sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved, and the Egyptians drowned."
"Now, Timmy, is that really what your teacher taught you?" His mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
25.
So you may ask: Rabbi! What exactly do you want me to become? Mr. Religious? You know I’m not the type. I’m not a fanatic; I’m a rational, sober skeptic.
Friends! That’s exactly the point. I do not want you to become religious. Heaven forbid. That is not a Jewish thing to do. Especially not during the election season.
What I am suggesting to you is – that whatever it is in Judaism that you DO embrace, that you do identify with, that you do observe -- do it with all your heart.
My suggestion to you is to embrace one additional mitzvah in your life, and make it YOURS. Really yours. Let it not be a “religious thing,” let it not be a ritual, let it be an expression of your individuality, of your own personal, intimate relationship with yourself and with G-d.
If you have a Shabbat meal in your home, make it the center of your emotional life. Be present with all your heart. Love every minute of it. Your children will remember how much you enjoyed it, and I guarantee you that when they grow up, they will do the same in their own homes. What our parents love, we tend to love.
If you decide to engage in a little more Torah study this year, let it become a passion, a natural expression of who you are. Say over a Torah thought on your dinner table, not in order to share “religion” with your children, but because you are excited to share a meaningful thought with people you love.
And if you decide this year to come and pray more, do it with gusto, with sincerity, with earnestness. Talk to G-d like you talk to your best friend. And your children will carry that in their hearts forever.
What we love, our children will usually love. What we are passionate about -- our children will more-often-than-not be passionate about. Children are the mirrors of our hearts.
26.
In Russia, there were unique synagogues known as a Cantonist Shul.
The Cantonists were Jews who from 1825-1840 were forcibly conscripted into the Russian Czar's army from as early as the age of 10, and obligated to serve for 25 years. They would be kidnapped from their parents' home, tortured repeatedly until they either accepted Christianity or died of their wounds.
They were starved, beaten and lashed, often with whips fashioned from their own confiscated tefillin. In their malnourished states, the open wounds on their chests and backs would turn septic and many boys, who had heroically resisted renouncing their Judaism for months, would either perish or cave in and consent to the show baptism. The Czar would have only reliable Christian Russians defending the motherland.
To avoid this horrific fate, some parents actually had their sons' limbs amputated in the forests at the hands of local blacksmiths, and their sons -- no longer able bodied -- would avoid conscription. Many other children tragically committed suicide rather than convert. It is one of the darkest, most ragic stories in our long history.
Some 40,000 young Jewish boys were forced into Czar Nicholas' army, and very few emerged alive as practicing Jews.
The brave few survivors who secretly maintained their faith and managed to return to their families 25 years later, found it hard to integrate into the regular community. They were illiterate, uneducated, have lived among gentiles for 25 years. So they build their own shuls in order to things “their own way.”
My grandfather told me that he once attended the Cantonist Shul on Simchat Torah. The Cantonists could dance like Cossacks. They were huge, strong men, and the heavy Torah scrolls would seem like toothpicks in their arms. They effortlessly danced on for hours on end. Many Jews from different synagogues came to see them dance. Truth be told, some of these Jews sadly and foolishly looked a little down at these soldiers. They looked like Cossacks, and in a way they were very crass and uncultured. It was not their fault, but you know how people are sometimes…
Then for the final hakafah (circuit around the synagogue's central lectern), the Cantonists, as if on cue, suddenly removed their shirts in unison! With the Torahs held tightly to their bare skin which was covered with the most horrible welts and scars you ever saw, they danced around even more energetically. Their smiles and joy were now giving way to streams of tears flowing from the cheeks of the learned Jews who came to watch them.
The learned Jews were all thinking the same thoughts: We may have studied and observed this Torah, but these holy Jews gave their bodies and lives for it. The Torah is theirs, far more than it is ours!
Theirs was not a Torah of sermons and words; it was a Torah of life, of experience, of extraordinary self sacrifice. For them, Torah and their bare skin have become ONE.
27.
One of the most famous secular professors in Israel, a professor of English literature, came to a rabbi in 1968 (5) and said that he wanted to repent for his war against Judaism. He wanted to devote his life to Jewish education.
The rabbi was so surprised and said, "Why?"
He said, "I'll tell you why. You may not have heard, but I was in the tank corps during the 1967 war in the Golan. My tank was destroyed and everybody in my tank died, but me. I was lying, bleeding on the Golan and nobody could find me. For two hours I was bleeding.
“’I'll bleed to death in these two hours,’ I thought. So I tried to comfort myself. I said, 'How shall I comfort myself?' I started to think about my scholarly field of English literature. I began reviewing Shakespeare and Faulkner, Dickens and Hemingway, great and interesting stories, but they provided me no comfort.
"As I was crying, in such pain and fearful of my death, and overtaken by grief that I'd never see my family again, I suddenly remembered my Zayde. This is going back many decades, and I remembered me, as a little boy, walking hand-in-hand with him to shul on Shabbat.
"Then I remembered the great joy of being on my father's shoulders for Simchas Torah as we danced with the Torahs. Peace came over me. I remembered my mother standing next to my grandmother lighting Shabbat candles week after week, as a little boy. Those memories filled me with such joy and peace.
"I knew that I was comforted in my dying moments by those memories. So I started to cry even more, because I realized that I was not transmitting any of these memories to my children. What will they have to remember?
The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. I said to myself: It's my time to transfer these beautiful memories to my children and grandchildren as my father and my zeide, my mother and my bubbe, did with me. I don't want to deny them these powerful memories that can enrich you not just the last two hours of your life, but all of your life.
"So I'm telling you, rabbi, I'm going to devote my life to Jewish education.”
28.
(Speak slowly)
My dear friends, on this Rosh Hashanah, let us ask ourselves this question: What are the memories you and I will be giving OUR children?
Thank you and Shanah Tovah!
~~~~~~~~
Footnotes:
1. Sichas 6 Tishrei 5727.
2. Genesis 18:19.
3) 3. Genesis 22:7-8.
4) 4. Pesachim 56a.
5) 5. R. Shlomo Carlebach a”h shared this story about himself.
copyright 2008 by Rabbi YY Jacobson.
Categories
Rosh Hashanah 5769
Rabbi YY Jacobson
- August 28, 2008
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- 27 Av 5768
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The Mirror of Your Heart
Rabbi YY Jacobson
- August 28, 2008
B”H.
Rosh Hashanah 5769
The Mirror of Your Heart
By Rabbi YY Jacobson
Summary:
The only conversation that takes place between the first Jewish father and the first Jewish child is when Abraham is about to sacrifice Isaac. None of the biblical Matriarchs ever communicate with their children. What does this tell us about the secret of Jewish education? And how did hundreds of generations of Jews manage to inspire their children? It was never through sermons, only by demonstrating the richness, depth and beauty of Judaism.
This sermon – sprinkled with many moving stories and anecdotes -- captures the power of passionate Jewish living and its timeless impact on our loved ones, coupled with practical suggestions.
Note:
The sermon is long. But you can EASILY shorten it to your liking, by skipping any or all of chapters 3, 6, 10, 12, 14, 17, 22, 23, 24, 26.
Suggestion:
Reflect on the ideas in your own mind; internalize them to make them your own. Allow the structure to resonate with you internally. Analyze your audience and what would be particularly meaningful to them.
1.
An Italian, a Frenchman and a Jew arrive in Heaven and each is judged. The angel escorts the Frenchman to his heavenly reward. They enter a beautifully arranged banqueting hall with all the foods that a French connoisseur could dream of.
The Frenchman turns to the angel and says, "This can't be mine. There must be some mistake. I was immoral most of my life and I was hardly G-d fearing."
The angel replies, "There is no mistake. These delicacies are yours but there is a catch. Every day at 5:00 pm they will bring in a large pot of soup that is boiling hot. You will be immersed in it. If you can take the pain you can partake of the banquet."
"Sorry" said the Frenchman "I just could not tolerate the pain."
The Italian, too, is taken to his reward a similar banquet with pasta and all the best Italian food you can wish for on Rosh Hashanah.
Again a similar dialogue takes place, the Italian admitting to a life of financial fraud and corruption. "This can't be mine. There must be some mistake.”
He too is advised that at 5:00pm each day he will be immersed in a boiling hot pot of minestrone soup and he again states that the pain would be too much to bear. It’s just not worth it.
Finally the Jew is taken to his eternal rewards. They enter a beautifully arranged banqueting hall with all the foods that a Jew can only dream of... Chopped liver, kugel, gefilte fish, sweet herring, salty herring, kishke, cholent, sushi, beef lo mein, and of course, the most beloved food for Jewish men – tofu and soy beans.
He too cannot believe his luck.
"This can't be mine. There must be some mistake. I never went to Shul, I never did anything Jewish… How can this be mine?"
Again the same response: "5:00 pm each day, you will be immersed into boiling hot chicken soup with kneidalach. If you can take the pain the banquet is yours."
"Fine", said Yankel, "I'll take it".
The angel is stunned. “The Frenchman and Italian – and countless other gentiles – have declined the offer; what makes you different?"
Yenkel responds: "What should I tell you? I know Jewish functions all too well. 5:00 is not 5:00 and the soup is never that hot."
Well, welcome all to one of the great Jewish functions of the year. But one in which we are both on schedule, and the “spiritual meal” offered is hot, delicious and fulfilling.
2.
What is Rosh Hashana? What would we expect the Torah and Haftorah readings for these days to be? What is the message of the day?
It is, as we say in our prayers, the anniversary of creation. Hayom harat olam - today, the universe was born. The logical thing then would be to read about the creation of the universe and the creation of the first human beings, Adam and Eve.
What do we read instead? On Day one, we read about the birth of the first Jewish child, Isaac, and about a discovered well of water which saved a young child, Yishmael, dehydration. As the haftorah, we read about an individual woman’s prayer for a child. Hannah pours her heart out to G-d that she wants a child, and G-d fulfills her prayer. Samuel is born.
On Day two of Rosh Hashanah, we read about the binding of Isaac and his deliverance. As the haftorah, we read Jeremiah 31 in which the prophet speaks of Rachel "weeping for her children" and G-d comforts her saying, "Restrain your voice from weeping. Your children will return to their land."
3.
Four Jewish ladies, at a resort in the Catskills, were in rockers on the veranda and admiring the scenery. After a while the first woman sighed, "Oy!" The others sighed sympathetically. Then the second woman sighed, "Oy Vey!" The others nodded. A third woman said, "Oy, Gottenyu!" The others nodded as if in agreement. Finally, the fourth woman said, "Enough talk about the children. Let's go for a walk!"
4.
And this is exactly what we do on Rosh Hashanah: We talk about the children. All four readings of Rosh Hashanah are not about the creation of the cosmos, the creation of the human race, the future of the universe, or cosmic, universal ideals, but rather about individual parents waiting for years to have a child, and finally being blessed with children and raising them. Why?
Because Judaism always understood that children are the center of the universe. We celebrate existence by celebrating our children. Each child must know that he is a miracle akin to the miracle of creation. Each child must know that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him or her.
That is how Judaism, the West's oldest faith, has for 4,000 years stayed young while other civilizations grew old and disappeared. Judaism survived because it never lost its love of children, it never lost its radical and magical infatuation with children, and it never forgot what that means by way of building homes, schools and communities to pass our values and blessings on across the generations.
Judaism is the most child-centered of all faiths. The first mitzvah in the entire Torah, the first command G-d gave the first humans, was to have children. Abraham, Genesis tells us, was loved by G-d “because he will instruct his children and his household after him to keep the way of G-d, doing what is right and just.” The Shema commands us to “Teach these things diligently to your children, speaking of them when you sit at home and when you journey on the way, when you lie down and when you rise up.”
5.
How desperately we need that message today. At some stage, not very long ago, we lost sight of this truth. We put adults before children, and pleasure before responsibility. Ours is a society is almost unique in believing that you can have intimacy without commitment, families without marriage, or children without the stable presence of parents. In a single generation, marriage and the family were lost for so many.
6.
There is a story about a father who came home from work late again, tired and irritated. He found his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
"Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure, what is it?" replied the father.
"Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"
"What makes you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want to know . . . please tell me, how much do you make an hour?" pleaded the little boy.
"If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour."
"Oh...!" the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, "Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?"
The father was mad. "If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you better march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you're being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don't have time for such childish games."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy's questioning. How dare he asks such questions only to get some money.
After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. "Are you asleep son?" he asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man. "It's been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here's the $10.00 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, beaming. "Oh, thank you daddy," he yelled. Then reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man seeing that the boy already had money started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money then looked up at the man.
"Why did you want more money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. "Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?"
7.
So on Rosh Hashanah, when we celebrate the magic of creation, we celebrate the world’s greatest and most extraordinary miracle: Children. According to the great mystics, Rosh Hashanah is the most auspicious time to pray for our children (1). Weather we have children, or we are hoping to have children in the future, or we ARE children -- and most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children -- this is the time to focus on our children, to love them even more, to pray for them, to reflect on their lives and on their needs, to connect to them in the deepest way possible.
[You may want to give a warm, emotional blessing to all of the children of your community].
8.
People often ask me: Rabbi, how can I be sure that my children will share the Jewish values and beliefs that I hold dear? The world has changed so much since I was young, and I can only imagine how much more it will change by the time my children grow up. How can I pass on my convictions to my children?
They are right. Times HAVE changed, and we are beginning to sense how suddenly and radically they have changed. We had grown used to a situation in which Jewish identity was passed on through the generations by habit, memory, external events and an inescapable sense that being Jewish is what we are. Belatedly we have discovered that for our children, being Jewish is no more than a matter of choice. They know that they can choose otherwise, if not for themselves, then for their children. How Do I make sure my grandchildren will be Jewish and proud Jews?
This is the issue I want to address today.
9.
It is said that Artur Schnabel was once asked, “How do you play pianos so well?” He answered, "The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes -- ah, that is where the art resides."
One of the profoundest ideas presented in Judaism on the art of raising children and on the meaning of education is conveyed via the silent pauses which characterize the relationship between the first Jewish parents and their children in the Bible.
Let me ask you a question: How many conversations do you suppose take place in the Bible between the first Jewish father, Abraham, and his son, Isaac? [You may want to request the crowd to answer and take a few answers.]
We would expect perhaps 5, 10, or 15 conversations between them. After all, Abraham was waiting 100 years for his boychik to arrive. He pleaded with G-d numerous times to grant him a child. Finally, the child arrives. We’d assume, the father wouldn’t stop conversing with his boy.
In reality, in the entire long story of Abraham in the book of Genesis, there is only one conversation found between them.
And when does that conversation take place? On the way to sacrificing Isaac at the famous episode of the akeidah (the binding of Isaac), the heart-stirring and awe-inspiring story read on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.
Imagine: The Bible does not record even a single conversation between the first Jewish father and the first Jewish child except when the father is on the way to sacrifice his son; when he has become the target of Abraham’s faith…
Note: The rabbis tell us that Isaac was 37 at the time. He was certainly not a young child, as he is old enough to travel three days with Abraham but without his mother. His conversation with Abraham is that of an older child or a young adult. Finally, Isaac is the one who carries the wood for the sacrifice up the mountain.
He also was most certainly not a teenager. How do I know? Because killing your teenage son is not a difficult test… Many fathers would be just happy…
10.
I once heard a Jewish personality remark that the Torah was teaching us precisely what a father ought NOT to do – to never talk to his child, except when he is about to kill him for his faith…
With all due respect, that man got it wrong. Besides the fact that the same Bible (2) quotes G-d as saying that he chose Abraham precisely “Because he will instruct his children and his household after him to keep the way of G-d, doing what is right and just.” Apparently, Abraham DID dedicate himself to raising and educating his family.
But in addition, I want to ask you lend a sensitive ear to the actual conversation that takes place between Abraham and Isaac on the way to the binding. Then YOU tell me weather these two people have a relationship or not.
(Speak slowly. This is emotional). Here is the literal translation from the original Hebrew:
Isaac said to his father Abraham, and he said: Avi! My Father!
And Abraham said: Hinani Veni! I am here, my son!
And Isaac said: The fire and wood are here, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?
And Abraham answered: G-d himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son. And they walked together.
How many redundancies do you encounter in this exchange? At least four.
1. “Isaac said to his father Abraham.” Well we all know by now that Abraham was Isaac’s father. Why the repetition?
2. “Isaac said to Abraham his father, and he said…” The verse already stated, “Isaac said,” why state it again: “Isaac said to Abraham his father, and he said…”
3. Instead of telling us what Isaac actually said to Abraham, the Bible states, that he said Avi! My father. Only after his father’s response, would the Bible repeat for a THIRD time “and he said…,” asking his father where is the sheep for the offering.
4. And Abraham said: Hinani Veni! I am here, my son! Why not get straight to the point, tell us what Isaac asked his father and Abraham’s response to him. Why must we first become aware of the way Abraham responded: Hinani Veni, I am here, my son.
It is clear to me, that each of these redundancies is attempting to demonstrate the deeply pulsating love between father and son.
Let’s be honest: When was the last time YOUR son approached you and said Dad! And instead of just saying, “Yes, go ahead,” or “I am busy now, come back soon,” “Don’t you see I’m on the computer, leave me alone,” you just stopped, looked him in the eyes, and said (speak slowly): Hinani Veni! I am here, my son!
And let us remember: “Hinani” was the same word Abraham used when G-d summoned him initially and told him to go sacrifice his son. This is the exact term Abraham uses once more when his son reaches out to him during their three-day journey. Abraham says Hinani to his child just as he said Hinani to G-d.
And if so, why is this conversation the ONLY one recorded between father and son in all of the Torah?
11.
How about between mother and son? Between Sarah and Isaac?
-- You know the story of the little Jewish boy who was telling his mother about how he had won a part in a play that was being done at school. His mother asked, "What is the part you will play, Saul?" Saul responded, "I shall play the Jewish husband," to which the mother replied, "Well, you go right back to that teacher and tell her that you want a SPEAKING part!"
So nu, if Abraham was silent, at least we would expect Sarah to be speaking to Isaac.
After all, Sarah was so protective of Isaac: She had Ishmael expelled from the home because he was abusing Isaac. She was a classic Yiddish mame. The first Jewish mother in history…
-- A young Jewish man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder. "Every thought I have turns to my mother," he told the psychiatrist. "As soon as I fall asleep and being to dream, everyone in my dream turns into my mother.
“Last night I even had a dream that YOU were my mother. I wake up so upset that all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast. And I came running here for the session."
The psychiatrist replied, "What, just one piece of toast for a big boy like you?"
Sarah too waited for 90 years for this boy. We could certainly expect many a conversation between mother and son.
But no! Not even a single conversation between them, in the entire Bible. For nine decades she is waiting for this boy, and then when he comes, they don’t talk!
How about the second generation of Jews? How many conversations does the Torah record between Rebecca (Isaac’s wife) and her son Jacob?
That’s right! Only one. Its content? Go get your father’s blessings before your brother gets them…
And between Isaac and his son Jacob? Again, one conversation. Its theme? Get out of the home and go find yourself a sheduch, a nice girl…
Let’s examine the third generation of Jews: Between Rachel-Leah and their children? Not a single conversation in the entire book of Genesis.
[And between Jacob, and his children? Almost no verbal communication, besides for chastising two of his children for what they did in Sechem (known today as Nablus), sending Joseph away from home and negotiating with his children their travels to and from Egypt. Only on his death bed does Jacob finally address his children as a father to children.
What is the meaning behind all of this? Did our great forefathers and foremothers, the founders of Judaism, not believe in verbally communicating with their children?
Now, I am sure that our Patriarchs and Matriarchs enjoyed many long conversations with their children. Our passion for talking and talking and talking must have come from somewhere… What is bothering me is this: What is the message the Torah is attempting to convey to us by not mentioning almost any verbal communication between the first Jewish parents and their children?
It is in this silence, my friends, through which the Torah communicates to us the most important lesson about education.
The message is captured in a most powerful way in the following Talmudic story (4).
The Talmud relates that when our father Jacob was on his deathbed, surrounded by all of his children, he suddenly felt that the Divine presence, the Shechinah, departed from him. He was overtaken by dread and fear that one of his children present in the room was living an immoral life, and that is why the Sechinah has left him. The old father confronted his children asking if perhaps one of them was has corrupted his ways, betraying the values Jacob attempted to inculcate within his children?
His sons responded with most famous Jewish declaration, “Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad. Listen Israel – Jacob’s name was Israel -- the Lord is Our God, the Lord is One. Keshem sheein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One."
[At that moment Jacob responded and said, "Boruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Leolam Vaed, Blessed be the honorable name of His kingdom forever and ever."]
Let us listen to their words carefully: “Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One.” Yet the first half of their statement seems superfluous. We know that in Jacob’s heart there was only One G-d. That was not up for discussion. The question was what is going on in THEIR heart. All they needed to say was, “Listen father, in OUR heart there is only one?”
12.
There was once a new rabbi who came to his first pulpit. And on the first Shabbat that he was there, he delivered a good sermon. Afterwards, everyone congratulated him, they all loved the sermon.
The next Shabbat, everyone came to shul, ready to hear the rabbi's words. But he gave the same sermon. I don't just mean a similar sermon, I mean the same exact sermon, word for word. No one knew what to say, so they went home quietly.
The third week, the rabbi got up to speak, the congregation was perfectly still, and lo and behold, again the same sermon. Word for word.
This time they had to do something, so the president and the search committee were designated to go and speak with the rabbi. They made an appointment and came into his office. “Rabbi, it is so wonderful to have you here and we want you to feel very comfortable, but there is just one thing that is causing some concern. The first week you were here, you gave a very good sermon, and the second week, you gave the same sermon, and this week again the same exact sermon?!”
The rabbi was unperturbed. “Well of course I gave the same sermon; you're still acting in the same way!”
13.
The first thing that our Patriarchs and Matriarchs understood about communication and education was how wrong this rabbi was, how detached he was from his audience. Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebeccah, Jacob and Rachel and Leah, knew that sermons, speeches and lectures will never do the trick. It’s all about the HEART.
Years ago I came across a one-liner that had a profound impact on me personally: "Every rabbi has only one sermon -- the way he lives his life." It's all too true. We can preach from today until next Rosh Hashanah, but if we don't "walk the talk" and live the game we purport to play, we will leave our audiences unmoved, cold, and apathetic. The most eloquent orators will fail to make an impression if their listeners know that their message is hollow and isn't backed up by genuine personal commitment.
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
The first Jewish parents understood very well that the real great sermons of life are never comprised of words, sentences, eloquent diction and perfected prose; the great sermons are created out of three materials: Conviction, love and actions.
Listen once more to the words of tribes of Israel to their father Jacob while he lay on his deathbed wondering if he failed to educate them appropriately: Keshem shein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One." The first half of their sentence was not superfluous. What they were saying is -- the reason there is in our heart only One, is because our hearts reflect and mirror YOUR heart, and in your heart there is only One. Children are the mirror of their parents’ hearts, not of their words. Jacob or father, since in your heart there was one, our heart too is saturated with the one living G-d.
14.
Political scientists have long found that 4 out of 5 people with a party preference grow up to vote the way their parents voted. If you are voting McCain, expect your children to vote Republican when they grow up. If you’re voting Obama, they will usually follow suit. In fact, while many people experience a temporary rejection of their parents’ politics in very early adulthood, virtually nothing is more predictive of your political ideology than that of your parents—it’s more of a determining factor than income, education or any other societal yardstick.
15.
This is the message the Torah is attempting to convey to us by not recording the speeches Sarah gave her son Isaac, or Rebecca gave her son Jacob, or Rachel -- her son Joseph. Values are caught, not taught. Sarah did not preach, pontificate or give sermons to Isaac. She did not educate him through lectures. Sarah was comfortable with herself; she loved what she did, she was passionate about her convictions and her faith, and she lived them. Isaac needed only to look into his mother’s eyes when she was lighting the Shabbat candles, and he learnt what he needed to learn about serenity, self-confidence, love and spirituality. Isaac needed only to watch his father interact with his guests, and he learnt all he needed to learn about compassion and generosity of spirit, about tekun olam, and honoring the image of G-d in the other human being.
It is through your silence – far more than through your verbal communication -- that you educate your children. It is about who you are, not what you say. What you truly believe in, in the depth of your soul, your children will carry with them. Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children, and our worlds play a small part in that deposit.
Mark Twain once said: When I was eight, my father was a genius; when I was eighteen – he was a moron. Now, I’m 28, I have a few kids of my own, and I see that my father has some good ideas. It’s funny how much the old man learnt in ten years…
Sure, our children go through their rebellious stages. At the age of 14, they are usually taught the 11th commandment – thou shall disobey your father and your mother… But at the end, they usually gravitate to the ideals, values and passions that have been ingrained in their psyches not so much from the sermons of their parents, as much as from the way of life and the authentic convictions of their parents.
Our Patriarchs and Matriarchs educated and inspired their children through their PRESENCE.
16.
There is only one VERBAL speech that IS recorded between Abraham and Isaac. And that is the one taking place on the way to the binding of Isaac, in a moment of supreme self sacrifice, both for a loving father and a beautiful child.
Why? The Torah is teaching us that the only conversation between a father and a son that would be recorded in a timeless divine blueprint for life, in the Torah, is one that takes place a midst a moment of self-transcendence and self sacrifice. The only conversations between parents and children that are truly timeless and eternal are those in which the child hears not only words, but the readiness of his or her parent to sacrifice for these words and values.
Think of yourselves: Which aspects of your own parents’ lives have you you’re your own? Which lessons of your parents still summon you and challenge you today? Is it the chastising speeches your father or mother gave you, or is it those things you knew your parents were ready to sacrifice for?
17.
Several years ago there was a commemoration for the sixtieth anniversary of Kinder-transport, the operation to rescue thousands of Jewish children from Germany and Austria where they faced almost certain death. More than 1,000 of those who made the journey had come together from across the world to London to remember. They recalled those fearful days when they waved goodbye to their parents, often never to see them again, and travelled to safety in a strange land.
One speech that day came from the film producer Lord Attenborough. In 1939 he and his family were living in Leicester. His parents had offered refuge to a number of Jewish children escaping from Germany, on their way to the United States. When war was declared, two Jewish girls were staying with them. They realized that they would now be unable to cross the Atlantic. What was to be done?
The Attenboroughs decided that they would offer the girls a home for the duration of the war, but they felt that it was a decision that could only be made as a family. Richard described how his parents called him and his two brothers into the study and told them the situation. They explained that the two girls, Helga and Irene, were Jewish. Their parents had been sent to concentration camps and were unlikely to survive. The girls had no one to care for them and nowhere to go.
Sixty years on, Lord Attenborough recalled his parents’ words. “We want to adopt the girls. We think it is the right thing to do. But we will only do it if you agree. It will call for sacrifices. We were a family of five. No we will be a family of seven. There will be things we won’t be able to afford. There will be things you’ll have to share. One of those will be love. You know how much we love you. But now you will have to share that love with Helga and Irene. We will have to show them special affection, because you have a family, but now they have no one at all.”
The boys agreed. Thinking back to that day across six decades, Lord Attenborough described it as the most important day of his life. It transformed him forever.
18.
This is not just a story that occurred 65 years ago. It happened with one of my dear colleagues, merely 24 months ago.
When the judge gave the Jewish community of Cordoba, Argentina, ten days to find a home for three abandoned Jewish children or they would be given into the care of a local church-run children’s shelter, Chabad Ambassadors to Cordoba, Rabbi Yossi and Chana Turk, made a decision that altered the course of their and their children’s lives. They adopted Gavriel, 6; Nicola, 4, and Candelaria, 2.
Now instead of eight children, the Turks have eleven. [It is what we call Family Planning, Chabad style…]
When the Turks went to pick up the Perlmutter children, state shelter workers had one request. The sneakers the children were wearing should be returned. They were shelter property.
At the doorway of the shelter, the children were apprehensive. In their short lives, after their father died and their mother had abandoned them, after being jostled from aunts to uncles to distant relatives who could not care for them, the three children had never seen a normal family life. But they decided to go along.
First stop, the shoe store.
Basic hygiene was unknown to the children. All three – including the six-year-old -- were still in diapers. Regular baths, hair combing, three daily meals, all that our children take for granted, was new. Even the existence of children’s books was a revelation.
Now, before the three children could start their new lives, the Turks had to pass an evaluation by a state-sponsored psychologist. With eight kids of their own, doubtless the Turks had plenty of experience. But would they, an already large family, qualify? Chana Turk worried.
On the appointed date, the psychologist greeted them with a warm smile. “Rabbi Turk, don’t you remember me?” she said. Rabbi Turk drew a blank and asked the psychologist to fill him in on the connection. Six years ago, when the Turks celebrated their tenth year in Cordoba, Argentina’s second largest city, a ten hours’ drive from Buenos Aires, the Jewish senator who was attending the banquet brought a guest, who was none other than the psychologist….
The Turks spent much time with their own children making sure that they would not feel resentment.
19.
You see, friends, the Turk children – G-d bless them – just like Lord Attenborough, will not have to hear sermons from their parents about Tikkun Olam, about loving humanity, about the dignity of courage, and the blessings of generosity. They look into their Mom’s eyes each day and they know the meaning of Ahavat Yisroel, of love toward a fellow Jew; they look into their Dad’s eyes each night and they know what it means to be Jew -- to be there with your heart and soul for three Yiddishe kinderlach who would otherwise be destined to a life of poverty, hopelessness and misery.
They see and feel what their parents are ready to sacrifice for. And that makes all the difference.
Suppose our greatest leader would debate Barak Obama today, who would win the debate?
Of course, Obama! Moses, our greatest leader and teacher, could barely communicate verbally. He had a terrible stutter. So why didn’t Judaism find somebody more appropriate to articulate our message?
The answer, you may by now guess. Because Judaism always understood that its message, its truths, its music would not survive thousands of years through brilliant and articulate sermons alone, but through individual men and women who are passionate about it in their daily acts and interactions. For that, there was no better row-model than Moses.
20.
What was it that Jewish parents, throughout our long and painful history, demonstrated to their children? How did hundreds of generations of Jews manage to inspire their children to cling to their faith, often amidst unbearable conditions? What was their secret?
Our great-great grand parents exposed their children to an inner universe, a world often impoverished financially, but incredibly rich internally. Jewish children saw a life based on commitment, faith, deep moral conviction, and the belief that a human being was created not just to be comfortable, but to serve G-d. They witnessed the beauty of Shabbat, the depth of Torah, the ecstasy of prayer, the holiness of mitzvot. They were in awe of the basic Jewish notion that a human being is not just a mountain of dust but also a witness to G-d; not just random molecules congealed after billions of years of evolution, but an agent of the Divine, conceived by G-d in love, and dispatched as a messenger, in order to link heaven and hearth.
From an early age, the little Jewish girls saw the tears which flowed from their mothers face while she kindled the Shabbat candles, praying for her family, and ushering in spiritual and physical light into her home. They loved the taste of her gefilte fish and challah; they were soothed by mom’s chicken-soup, and cherished the values and rituals of Jewish tradition: the fanatical love for children, the sanctity of family life, the belief that for intimacy to be intimate it must have boundaries.
The children of our people were profoundly moved by the Jewish idea that G-d reached out to a people, proposing a partnership whereby deed by deed and generation by generation, together they might fashion a living example of what it is to honor the image of G-d that is the human person and bring redemption to an aching world. When Jewish boys watched their fathers study Torah, they felt that a light radiated in their homes, the light we call the sechinah, the Divine indwelling presence, which bathes a Shabbat table or a family conversation with its beauty and its sense of eternity in the here-and-now.
The children of our people felt that to be a Jew is to be a member of the people of the covenant, an heir to one of the world's most ancient, enduring and awe-inspiring faiths. It is to inherit a way of life which is unique in its love of family, its devotion to education, its philanthropy, its social justice and its infinitely loyal dedication to a unique destiny.
Our children felt and saw that the fundamental idea of Judaism, that we bring G-d into the world through daily acts and interactions, lead ordinary people to live extraordinary lives.
And that made all the difference.
This was the secret of Jewish history. When a Jewish boy or girl peered into his or her father’s or mother’s heart, what did he or she see? Echad. One. Oneness. They observed the presence of harmony and unity, inspired by the one living G-d who dwelled in their holistic hearts. So the children’s hearts too became infused with Echad, with one.
21.
During World War Two, countless Jewish parents gave their precious children to Christian neighbors and orphanages in the hope that the latter would provide safe havens for them. The parents expected that they, or their relatives, would take these children back if they survived the war. The few parents who did not perish in the Holocaust, and were able to reclaim their children, often faced another horror. While the parents had summoned the strength to survive the slave labor and death camps, or had hidden out for years, those who took their children were busy teaching them the ways of other religions.
Additionally, many Jewish children who were taken in by orphanages, convents and the like, had no parents or close relatives left after the Holocaust. When rabbis or distant relatives finally tracked down many of these children, the priests and nuns who had been their caretakers insisted that no children from Jewish homes were in their institutions. Thus, countless Jewish children were not only stripped of their entire families, they were also stripped of their history.
In May, 1945, Rabbi Eliezer Silver from the United States and Dayan Grunfeld from England were sent as chaplains to assist some of the liberated Jews. While there, they were told that many Jewish children had been placed in a monastery in Alsace-Lorraine. The rabbis went there to reclaim them.
When they approached the priest in charge, they asked that the Jewish children be released into the rabbis' care. "I'm sorry," the priest responded, "but there is no way of knowing which children here came from Jewish families. You must have documentation if you wish me to do what you ask."
Of course, the kind of documentation that the priest wanted was unobtainable at the end of the war. The rabbis asked to see the list of names of children who were in the monastery. As the rabbis read the list, they pointed to those that belonged to Jewish children.
"I'm sorry," the priest insisted, "but the names that you pointed to could be either Jewish or Gentile. Miller is a German name, and Markovich is a Russian name, and Swersky is a Polis name. You can't prove that these are Jewish children. If you can't prove which children are Jewish, and do it very quickly, you will have to leave."
One of the rabbis had a brilliant idea. "We'd like to come back again this evening when you are putting the children to sleep."The priest reluctantly agreed.
That evening the rabbis came to the dormitory, where row upon row of little beds were arranged. The children, many of whom had been in the monastery since the war started in 1939, were going to sleep. The rabbis walked through the aisles of beds, calling out, "Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad,” Hear, Israel, the Lord is our G-d, the Lord is One! One by one, children burst into tears and shrieked, "Mommy!" "Maman!" "Momma!" "Mamushka!" in each of their native tongues.
The priest had succeeded in teaching these precious Jewish souls about the Trinity, the New Testament, and the Christian savior. Each child knew how to say Mass. But the priest did not succeed in erasing these children's memories of their Jewish mothers and fathers now murdered - putting them to bed every night with the Shema on their lips.The children were returned to our people.
Here, 3000 years later, the immortal words of the children of Jacob to their father on his deathbed, were reenacted. Keshem shein belebcah ela echad, kach ein belebanu ela echad. Just as in YOUR heart there is only One, so, too, in OUR heart there is only One. The Shma Yisroel Hashem Elokanu Hashem Echad in the hearts of mothers and fathers, could not be erased from the hearts of their children.
22.
The local Hebrew School decided to observe Chanukah with a special ecumenical celebration, and invited everyone in the neighborhood, of whatever background, to participate in any way they thought appropriate, or to just come and observe, and have some home-baked cookies washed down with grape juice or heavy super-sweet wine.
There were speeches, dramatizations, and miscellaneous musical performances. At one point Mrs. Goldberg, in the third row, wiped away a tear as her little Miriam scratched out a hesitant rendition of "Havanu Sholom Aleichem" on a shiny new violin. Mrs. Goldberg noticed that a man seated next to her also had tears running down his face.
"Isn't it wonderful", she said to him, "to know that our heritage will be carried on by the next generation!"
"I suppose so," he said, "but I'm not Jewish."
“So why the tears?"
"I'm a musician…"
(Pause.)
He was wrong of course. Education is never about getting the notes right; it’s about getting the SOUL right.
23.
It is 6:00 in the evening. Dinner time. Your five-year-old notices the ice cream in the freezer. “Momi, can I have ice cream?”
“Sure, my love. First eat dinner, delicious tofu, salad, kinwa, and wholegrain pasta, which momi maid, and then you get ice cream.”
-- “No! I want it now.”
“Right after dinner,” my dear.
So your cute little boy breaks down crying. For 45 minutes he is begging, pleading, crying, yelling, beseeching. Of course, he “inspires” all of the other children to cry for the ice cream as well. You thought your day was coming to an end… but by now you are having migraines. You feel that you are about to go mad. After an hour of crying, you give in. The kids get their ice cream and they turn into cute little angels once again.
They have won the war.
The next day, you are in a store with the same little five-year-old. He asks you to buy him a treat hanging in the store. You look at it, and you see it has pork in it. You explain to your son, that it has pork, so you can’t get it.
And the child is: Okay. He is fine. He may ask you to examine the ingredients once more, but that’s it. No screaming, yelling, hollering.
Why? What happened? Why does he not scream for two hours till he gets it?
Because children are smarter than we often imagine. Yesterday he screamed because he knew that deep down you couldn’t care less if he eats ice cream before dinner. You are only SAYING that he can’t, but it is not a real deep-seated conviction. You know how he knew that secret?
Because he has seen you eating ice cream before dinner… So how bad could it be? It is just that last week you went to a seminar about nutrition and you decided to become a health freak. No more feeding junk to my kids. Next month you are likely to forget about it. So why should he suffer, just because you are going through one of your “health phases”? He loves ice cream, and he knows that if he screams for an hour, you will cave in. And you know what? He is right!
When it comes to pork, he knows that even if he screams for 4 hours, you will not give it to him. It is non-negotiable; it is an inner conviction that does not change. Since he knows that, even initially he does not make a fuss.
You see, my dear friends, WE are the ones who define what are children will accept or will argue about. If certain truths are non-negotiable in our own hearts, if we truly believe in certain ideals, if we are internally and earnestly committed to particular principles, and we live by them day-in day-out, when we are in a good mood and when we are in a bad mood, our children will happily embrace them. But if our “principles” are negotiable by us, we can’t expect our children to truly believe in them. If I am not really connected to it, why and how can they become connected to it?
24.
In my capacity as rabbi, I’m occasionally called by distraught parents devastated by the impending intermarriage of their son or daughter. In many cases, when I meet the boy or the girl, the story is often the same:
Mom and Dad sent me to Hebrew school, and gave me a bar or bat mitzvah. But they always sent me mixed messages. When I neglected my secular education, they were angry, but when I missed Hebrew lessons, they didn’t mind. I learned about the laws of Jewish life, but they did not seem to keep them, or if they did, they did so selectively. At my bar/bat mitzvah, they were more concerned about the catering than if I understood the words I recited in synagogue. As I grew older, they were more interested in which college I went to and which career I pursued than whether I was continuing to study and practice Judaism. They wanted me to marry a Jewish person, but gave me no real reason why.
[You can change it to: In my capacity as rabbi, I’m occasionally called by distraught parents devastated by the lack of sensitivity of their son or daughter to family values they hold so dear. In many cases, when I meet the boy or the girl, the story is often the same.]
It always reminds me of the anecdote:
Nine year old Timmy, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how G-d sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved, and the Egyptians drowned."
"Now, Timmy, is that really what your teacher taught you?" His mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"25.
So you may ask: Rabbi! What exactly do you want me to become? Mr. Religious? You know I’m not the type. I’m not a fanatic; I’m a rational, sober skeptic.
Friends! That’s exactly the point. I do not want you to become religious. Heaven forbid. That is not a Jewish thing to do. Especially not during the election season.
What I am suggesting to you is – that whatever it is in Judaism that you DO embrace, that you do identify with, that you do observe -- do it with all your heart.
My suggestion to you is to embrace one additional mitzvah in your life, and make it YOURS. Really yours. Let it not be a “religious thing,” let it not be a ritual, let it be an expression of your individuality, of your own personal, intimate relationship with yourself and with G-d.
If you have a Shabbat meal in your home, make it the center of your emotional life. Be present with all your heart. Love every minute of it. Your children will remember how much you enjoyed it, and I guarantee you that when they grow up, they will do the same in their own homes. What our parents love, we tend to love.
If you decide to engage in a little more Torah study this year, let it become a passion, a natural expression of who you are. Say over a Torah thought on your dinner table, not in order to share “religion” with your children, but because you are excited to share a meaningful thought with people you love.
And if you decide this year to come and pray more, do it with gusto, with sincerity, with earnestness. Talk to G-d like you talk to your best friend. And your children will carry that in their hearts forever.
What we love, our children will usually love. What we are passionate about -- our children will more-often-than-not be passionate about. Children are the mirrors of our hearts.
26.
In Russia, there were unique synagogues known as a Cantonist Shul.
The Cantonists were Jews who from 1825-1840 were forcibly conscripted into the Russian Czar's army from as early as the age of 10, and obligated to serve for 25 years. They would be kidnapped from their parents' home, tortured repeatedly until they either accepted Christianity or died of their wounds.
They were starved, beaten and lashed, often with whips fashioned from their own confiscated tefillin. In their malnourished states, the open wounds on their chests and backs would turn septic and many boys, who had heroically resisted renouncing their Judaism for months, would either perish or cave in and consent to the show baptism. The Czar would have only reliable Christian Russians defending the motherland.
To avoid this horrific fate, some parents actually had their sons' limbs amputated in the forests at the hands of local blacksmiths, and their sons -- no longer able bodied -- would avoid conscription. Many other children tragically committed suicide rather than convert. It is one of the darkest, most ragic stories in our long history.
Some 40,000 young Jewish boys were forced into Czar Nicholas' army, and very few emerged alive as practicing Jews.
The brave few survivors who secretly maintained their faith and managed to return to their families 25 years later, found it hard to integrate into the regular community. They were illiterate, uneducated, have lived among gentiles for 25 years. So they build their own shuls in order to things “their own way.”
My grandfather told me that he once attended the Cantonist Shul on Simchat Torah. The Cantonists could dance like Cossacks. They were huge, strong men, and the heavy Torah scrolls would seem like toothpicks in their arms. They effortlessly danced on for hours on end. Many Jews from different synagogues came to see them dance. Truth be told, some of these Jews sadly and foolishly looked a little down at these soldiers. They looked like Cossacks, and in a way they were very crass and uncultured. It was not their fault, but you know how people are sometimes…
Then for the final hakafah (circuit around the synagogue's central lectern), the Cantonists, as if on cue, suddenly removed their shirts in unison! With the Torahs held tightly to their bare skin which was covered with the most horrible welts and scars you ever saw, they danced around even more energetically. Their smiles and joy were now giving way to streams of tears flowing from the cheeks of the learned Jews who came to watch them.
The learned Jews were all thinking the same thoughts: We may have studied and observed this Torah, but these holy Jews gave their bodies and lives for it. The Torah is theirs, far more than it is ours!
Theirs was not a Torah of sermons and words; it was a Torah of life, of experience, of extraordinary self sacrifice. For them, Torah and their bare skin have become ONE.
27.
One of the most famous secular professors in Israel, a professor of English literature, came to a rabbi in 1968 (5) and said that he wanted to repent for his war against Judaism. He wanted to devote his life to Jewish education.
The rabbi was so surprised and said, "Why?"
He said, "I'll tell you why. You may not have heard, but I was in the tank corps during the 1967 war in the Golan. My tank was destroyed and everybody in my tank died, but me. I was lying, bleeding on the Golan and nobody could find me. For two hours I was bleeding.
“’I'll bleed to death in these two hours,’ I thought. So I tried to comfort myself. I said, 'How shall I comfort myself?' I started to think about my scholarly field of English literature. I began reviewing Shakespeare and Faulkner, Dickens and Hemingway, great and interesting stories, but they provided me no comfort.
"As I was crying, in such pain and fearful of my death, and overtaken by grief that I'd never see my family again, I suddenly remembered my Zayde. This is going back many decades, and I remembered me, as a little boy, walking hand-in-hand with him to shul on Shabbat.
"Then I remembered the great joy of being on my father's shoulders for Simchas Torah as we danced with the Torahs. Peace came over me. I remembered my mother standing next to my grandmother lighting Shabbat candles week after week, as a little boy. Those memories filled me with such joy and peace.
"I knew that I was comforted in my dying moments by those memories. So I started to cry even more, because I realized that I was not transmitting any of these memories to my children. What will they have to remember?
The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. I said to myself: It's my time to transfer these beautiful memories to my children and grandchildren as my father and my zeide, my mother and my bubbe, did with me. I don't want to deny them these powerful memories that can enrich you not just the last two hours of your life, but all of your life.
"So I'm telling you, rabbi, I'm going to devote my life to Jewish education.”
28.
(Speak slowly)
My dear friends, on this Rosh Hashanah, let us ask ourselves this question: What are the memories you and I will be giving OUR children?
Thank you and Shanah Tovah!
~~~~~~~~
Footnotes:
1. Sichas 6 Tishrei 5727.
2. Genesis 18:19.
3) 3. Genesis 22:7-8.
4) 4. Pesachim 56a.
5) 5. R. Shlomo Carlebach a”h shared this story about himself.
copyright 2008 by Rabbi YY Jacobson.
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