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How Do I Become Aware of My Self-Sabotage?

Moshe Vs. Yehoshua: Sometimes Your Unconscious Fears Undermine Success

1 hr 13 min

Class Summary:

This weekly women's class was presented on Tuesday, Parshas Matos-Maasei, 26 Tammuz, 5781, July 6, 2021, live from Rabbi YY Jacobson's home in Monsey, NY.

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  • A

    Ari -2 years ago

    Hi Rabbi, 
    I never realized how more mind-opening the Q's & A's are. The questions are great, and the answers are so much deeper. 

    I am not an angry person anymore. I reconciled most of my childhood traumas while the iron was still hot. And for that i am grateful to Him everyday (maybe not as much as i should be, always, but i try my best).  But there are things that will still tickle me, that I now notice (in the last five minutes - since the lecture ended), that although present as anger, are really just painful trauma. Pain from trauma. Some are older childhood traumas (Sharis Hapletah) and some from not so far back. These "things" are so ingrained and so subconscious in me, that i justified it to myself as normal - nature versus nurture - azoy  bin eech, finished. But now im realizing that although it isnt healthy anger, its also not permanent - it can be undone if i sort of give it "its day in court". Hear it out. Size it up and embrace it for what it is - not the real me, my trauma. Now i know what i'm dealing with. 
    Thank you for cracking this nut. I hope my thinking is correct. 

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  • R

    Rachel -2 years ago

    life is a journey into self awareness. As long as we are alive there will always be self awareness places that we haven’t travelled to yet….

    If we look in Torah, I’m not sure how many lived perfect lives…
    We look at our Avois, Dovid, Shlomoh, etc. They all became examples of how their life impacted them and us, through their strength but also through their weakness so also Yehoishuah  is one of them. And Torah never shies away from pointing them out…..

    What I got out of the class isn’t at all about judging Yehoshuah, it’s about the gift of awareness that I’m learning from this story that can help enrich my life and others so much more.

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    Remember, GD allows everything that happens.  Are you going to tell Gd that He is failing at His job and needs to be fired.  Knock yourself out.  You will not win!

    So, did you get where you are because of sin (yours or another's), or because GD needed a Joseph to lead the slaves out of Egypt to serve GD.

    Either way, the only answer is, do it like GD says.....how many other people does GD need to consider when thinking about your hurt, needs, and requests.

    How many failed Josephs or Josephines does GD have on his hands waiting to be coddled?  Show me where Gd coddled Joseph!

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    Remember, if you can argue over the title, you don't have to deal with the sin, and you can still live in your lower nature. List of money is made in stroking the lower nature of man/woman!

    Just remember, if you don't label it sin, there could be an excuse for it and you have, or think you have, a pass with Gd!

    Lots of money is made by people who have made careers out of stroking mans/woman's lower nature.

    The laws and ways of GD are never wrong.  The only paycheck you need is Gd's paycheck.

    Remember, it says vengeance belongs to GD and unishmento belongs to the courts.  The law of Gd regulates you!

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    I never see trauma, emotional abuse, etc labeled that in Scripture.  I only see sin, with one remedy, GD!

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    Can you imagine Gd's anger

    Now, we can understand Gd's anger at His hurt from our slights!

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    Ah, view through the lenses of the law of Gd, and the trauma does not matter!

    Reactions are the lower nature, often!

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  • SM

    Sara Metzger -2 years ago

    Someone asked...

    Perhaps the idea quoted in the noam Elimelch on להזהיר גדולים על הקטנים could be applied for this as well, IE that if a person works on himself in times of spiritual awareness and learns to work on himself, then later when he has a difficult moment this will come up and help him to choose the correct response?

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  • K

    Kj -2 years ago

    Ah, the difference between the higher and lower nature...the dog is good aggressive and the fittest, most agressive wins the dog fight.  Man says, ah that man and his family are more hungry, he can have the steaks today.  I can wait!

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  • SM

    Sara Metzger -2 years ago

    Someone asked...

    If יהושע himself was not aware of this how could he work on it?

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  • S

    Sara -2 years ago

    Someone asked

    שאפילו המחשבות שהאדם בעצמו אינו מרגיש בהם גלוין הם לפניו ית"ש. וזהו הי' שבחו של מרע"ה שלא הי' מרגיש שום נגיעה כלל.

    In these words it seems like the Sefas Emes is referring even to thoughts that the person himself is not aware of?

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    Being that it's a possibility it's subconscious How dose one know that the thought is real how dose one test it

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  • SG

    Sarah Goldberg -2 years ago

    A specific mitzvah clashes with a general mitzvah

    The clash of the mitzvah to wage war and the mitzvah to live.

    Moshe had the general mitzvah to give a bris to his son in Midian even before Mattan Torah. Before the 8th day Hashem told him to set out to Mitzrayim.  He did. He postponed the bris because it's dangerous for a baby after a  bris to travel. All was fine with this postponement as long as the Rabbenu family was traveling. But, as soon as they stopped at the Desert Motel 6 for their own purposes, a snake (always the snake!), swallowed Moshe halfway from the bottom and then the top. He was about to die even on his way to take the yidden out until Tzipporah took a stone abd gave the bris to their sin. She said the posuk we say at every bris (by your blood you shall live). 

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  • SG

    Sarah Goldberg -2 years ago

    Delaying a Mitzvah for a good reason

    Didn't Moshe Rabbenu delay Mattan Torah itself by a day, the greatest event in world history, on his own? 

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  • S

    Sara -2 years ago

    If we as humans

    don't know what all our inner subconscious feelings, actions, etc are how can we change our thinking, improve ourselves, etc. Seems like GD put us in an impossible situation.

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  • SG

    Sarah Goldberg -2 years ago

    It's a basic principle that we must live with the mitzvos

    "V'chai bahem". Shabbos, yom kippur etc are all overridden by the mitzvah to live by the mitzvos.

    If Moshe or Yehoshua are commanded to wage war (a specific mitzvah) yet they both also have the general overriding mitzvah yo "live by the mitzvahs"; couldn't that latter overriding mitzvah give them room to delay (but not cancel) to do the mitzvah of waging war? 

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  • SG

    Sarah Goldberg -2 years ago

    Who says prolonging a war is detrimental?

    There can be many reasons to prolong war and enhance the chances of winning.  E.g. if the enemy has limited supplies and you have ample supplies, it would be advantageous to prolong the war.  Like Russia always does by retreating into the vast Russian territory. Or because you're developing a new weapon like WW2. 

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  • SG

    Sarah Goldberg -2 years ago

    Did Moshe Rabbenu always do what Hashem wanted?

    Didn't he argue for a week with Hashem when Hashem wanted to send him to Mitzrayim to take the yidden out of Mitzrayim? We see he didn't immediately do what Hashem wanted. 

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  • SG

    Sarah Goldberg -2 years ago

    Moshe Rabbenu didn't do anything for himself

    He waged the war post haste even if it meant his death would come sooner.  He never took a shekel for himself.  He didn't press, but only asked,  for his sons to succeed him. He only did what Hashem wanted at all times.

    This should guide us as well at all times for all decisions. The question should not be "what do I want?" But rather "What does Hashem want in this circumstance?"

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    • S

      Sara -2 years ago

      How to we know for sure what Hashem wants in a circumstance? One person thinks Hashem wants this and another could think Hashem wants that. Who is right? 

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  • SG

    Sarah Goldberg -2 years ago

    Downside of a rushed war

    I recall learning that a negative side effect of waging a war as fast as possible is that a depopulated land can be quickly overrun by wild animals.  

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  • CP

    Chanie Posner -2 years ago

    Can't get downloads on the yeshiva.net

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    • S

      Sara -2 years ago

      Double click on the box on time that says view source sheet.

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    Music

    Please remove the music as per halacha in the 3 weeks, thanks!

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Women's Class/Sfas Emes Matos

Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • July 6, 2021
  • |
  • 26 Tamuz 5781
  • |
  • 1898 views

Dedicated by Reb Yitzchak Shlomo in honor of his wife, Rachel Sarah bas Naomi

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