• Anonymous -3 years ago

  Song

  Please check out and share Red Light - a beautiful new song of Chizzuk: www.lifeinasong.org 

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• Y

  yeshoshua -3 years ago

  Shalom Aleichem Rabbi Jacobson and hope all is well. I am a bochur from Toronto and recently came across one of your shiurim online; the one on ‘why are so many marriages failing’. I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the shiur. It was just absolutely phenomenal. I myself have gone through a lot in my life and worked through it all and Baruch HaShem came out so healthy..... at least I think;). The shiur did not just give me a better understanding of what marriage actually is but helped me recognize that as much work as I have done, there is so much more!!  You helped me recognize that I can look at myself even more honestly and vulnerably, and for that I am so grateful!

  
  I feel so privileged to be part of a nation that it’s’ leaders are so in-touch with my/our challenges. Although we never met I feel like you were talking to me.

  Thank you, thank you, thank you!
  
  I would love to just say hello and thank you on the phone. I assume your very busy but if you have a minute that would be unbelievable!  Is there a number I can reach the rebbe at? 

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• AA

  Aisha Arshad -3 years ago

  Why are so many marriages failing

  Hi Rabbi YY Jacobson,

  This was my first time. listening to your talk and I loved it. Everything you said was amazing. I learned so much and I think that everyone should hear you to save their marriage. 

  Thank you so much,

  Aisha

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• Y

  yitzchak -3 years ago

  I too I am one of your many, many fans. I listen to your inspiring shiurim on Torahanytime on a regular basis and enjoy them very much. Your ability to give accurate sources from a wide range of Chazal is phenomenal. Each shiur is action-packed - full of beautiful material not heard elsewhere. Recently I listened to a very nice shiur on marriage and I, having been happily married for 50 years before my wife passed away this year,  wanted to add to your repertoire of ingredients of a good marriage with just four short points, and then I'll ask you a question.

  Firstly, the person has to be able to say to his spouse on occasion,  “I'm sorry”.

  Secondly, if there has been a difference of opinion during the day it should be resolved before going to sleep that night.

  Thirdly, a person should be able 2 telephone their spouse at work and be given priority over anything that is happening at work.

  Fourthly the relationship of love between a parent and a child is described by therapists as unconditional. That is not the case between spouses.

  My one question to you about your content is the omission of the subject of intimacy. You compare the tension between spouses as that between fire and water. Yet you do not cite the bedroom as the place where such necessary tension is resolved. I have heard a recording of you speaking about intimacy and wonder why the word was not even mentioned in your recent shiur?

  You should be gebenched!

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• Anonymous -3 years ago

  Thank you for a sensitive and powerful talk (From a divorcee)

  Rabbi Jacobson:

   

  I saw you were giving a talk on marriage. Despite being twice divorced from abusive men, this is a topic I've studied a lot and continue to study.  And, hearing common speakers, including but not limited to Chabad speakers, talk about divorce often leaves me heartbroken or just plain angry as time goes on.  So many times they make sweeping generalizations or even ridiculous claims about marriage v divorce.

   

  I didn't hear your talk live, but I listened to it the next night.  I was a little wary. I thought, "This is Rabbi Jacobson. This could be really really good, and very very sensitive...but, this is another one of these rabbis/speakers/rebbetzins/shluchim, etc. who spout a lot of generalizations on marriage/divorce that are so off-base.  I might end up turning this off and never listing in Rabbi Jacobson again!  Am I willing to risk it?"

   

  Well, I was, and I'm glad I did.  I liked the emphasis on compassion. I liked that you recognized that some things are very very difficult/complicated, that staying married isn't always the right answer, that deciding what to do is a big decision that needs a lot of practical eitzah and help from Hashem, and that, ultimately, only the people in the marriage know what goes on in the marriage. 

   

  Making my choices to get divorced (again twice) was not easy at all.  It came after a lot of work. It came after a lot of tears. It came after a lot of tefillah.  It came after a lot of therapy. It came after realizing I had to make this decision alone (with Hashem), and that I would be surrounded by a lot of people who, in the name of Torah, would judge me harshly at worst or just not understand my decision at best.  I had no help. No family (I'm a convert.).  I had to turn to secular sources and the police and courts since no one would listen to me or help me in the community.  They just plugged their ears or sent me back like a sheep to slaughter.  I actually had people say to me "What you're living with is abusive! I'd never put up with that, but you have to."--that's almost verbatim, from a FFB woman with kids.  Then, I lived with loshon hara and being marginalized in my community.  Even pre COVID, I couldn't sit in shul watching these cruel men get aliyahs or say amein to their brachos, and watch everyone else do so, and treat them like good guys.  I can't expect people to condemn what they can't know, but it is still hard to watch.

   

  I don't know when or even if I'll remarry (again).  I'm tired. I've lost a lot of trust and faith in lots of people (not just men!).  I've been "sent" (as I've learned from you) on many difficult journeys in the course of my divorces and the ensuing coparenting years...just got dragged into something new now.  Hashem has decreed that my lawyer make a lot of money.

   

  Anyways, I appreciated your sensitivity and some of the good advice especially regarding compassion that I think is very helpful even in other relationships that are strained with recent events (COVID, political, etc.).

   

  Thank you!

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• Anonymous -3 years ago

  how can I get the the Rabbi Manis Friedman shiur on marriage that you spoke about?

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  • Anonymous -3 years ago

    I didn't listen to this whole speech yet, so i'm no not sure if he was reffering to a particular Shiur, but Rabbi Friedman has a website itsgoodtoknow.org, and a Youtube channel full of his lectures, a lot of them are on Marriage, his ideas are usually very much repeated. I hope this helps you.

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• SH

  Sam Hickson -3 years ago

  Not working

  It's not working reached the 1000 participant limit

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Lakewood zoom on Repairing Relationships

Rabbi YY Jacobson

• November 29, 2020
• |
• 13 Kislev 5781
• |
• 4075 views

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