Minutes of carnage have led to a lifetime of grief in Parkland, Florida. Wednesday, February 14, 2018, began as just another day in this idyllic, calm city, where everyone felt safe. It was just another warm Floridian day. It ended as a nightmare which stunned a nation and altered the lives of so many families forever.

A unique pocket in our deepest heart is pierced when we watch parents, grandparents and siblings forced to bid farewell to their children, gunned down so brutally, as they innocently walked the hallways of their beloved school.

Just 24 hours after the massacre, Lori Alhadeff stood near 17 cream-colored angels with gold wings that lined the park stage where a vigil was held Thursday night. One of those angels represented her daughter, Alyssa, 14, who was killed in the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland.

Trembling, she said she was there for her daughter, and she was there to talk to anyone who would listen. “My daughter is dead, but all these children out here have to go to school. A shooter should not be able to just walk in,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “I hope she didn’t die for nothing.”

And now, the burning question, what must the nation do to prevent this in the future?

Over the last few days we have been bombarded by numerous solutions. Gun control; beef up security in schools; arm school staff; ensure more care for the mentally challenged in our society, since the murderer Nikolas Cruz apparently was a troubled and lonely child; help children become more social; and so forth.

All of these ideas are of vital importance. Every school in our country must, in this day and age, install metal detectors and examine every single person entering its doors. It is a challenging and sad feat, but it is a necessity. The other suggestions are also critical.

Yet, from the hundreds of reports and articles on the subject, I have not seen any serious discussion on what might be the most important issue at hand.

Guns are dangerous; very dangerous, and we need to control who gets hold of them. But they don’t kill on their own; it is people who use guns to kill. Limiting access to guns is important, but our greatest focus must be on affecting the people who might use these guns to perpetrate violence. To believe that the primary reason for just about all American gun murders is the availability of guns is akin to believing that the cause of all stabbings is the availability of knives. Of course, you have to be careful with knives. But what we need more than anything else is to educate our children that they are obliged by absolute moral values.

Ditto with mental and emotional challenges. After every massacre we read reports about how the murderer was a weird character, had mental problems, or “snapped.” When 20-year old Adam Lanza shot his way into Sandy Hook Elementary School and killed 26 people, on Dec. 14, 2012, the horror was attributed to his suffering from Aspergers Syndrome. As 19-year old Nikolas Cruz turned up on Wednesday at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, and killed 17 people with a semiautomatic rifle, stories began circulating about a troubled and strange young man, expelled from his school, posting pictures of weapons and dead animals on social media.

All of this may be true. But as a result, the entire focus on future prevention is not on moral improvement of our youth, but on treating the mentally ill or gun control.

That is wrong. Even most challenged people, suffering from a host of problems, can be taught that there is something called right and wrong; that G-d holds every human being responsible for his or her actions, that our Divine Creator observes everything we do and expects of us to be caring.

Autistic people, lonely people, troubled people, like everyone else, can be taught the difference between good and evil. You and I know many people who suffer from all types of psychological and mental challenges, some very severe, who would never harm an innocent person. Why? Because the value of life and the sacredness of another human is etched in the depths of their psyches through the education they received. The thought of killing a child, even if entertained, never materializes.

Sure, on some rare occasions mental illness may be the only possible explanation for evil. But the fact is that when American schools emphasized character development, and when nearly all Americans believed that there is a G-d who forbids and punishes murder, such massacres rarely took place. Our schools were safe.

When people "snapped" during the Great Depression some of them did kill… themselves, not others. Some European Jews who survived the Holocaust "snapped" after seeing their families murdered. Yet I know of no survivor of the Holocaust who massacred innocent Germans, Poles, Ukrainians, Hungarians, or Frenchmen, let alone Americans. Why not? Because from their mother’s milk, and through all their years of education, they were ingrained with the absolute ethical value of “Thou shall not murder.”

After the Sandy Hook massacre, Michael Ryan wrote on CNN: “I am not an expert on Asperger's syndrome. But I am an expert on me, and I have Asperger's. And attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. And a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Having all three disorders together is not unusual, my doctor says.

“Like you, I get angry sometimes. And, like you, I would never think of channeling that emotion into violence. There is no direct connection between violence and autism. None. I don't break things. I don't hit my dogs. I keep a small Tupperware container in the house to catch insects so I can transport them safely outside before my cats or wife see them. I don't disparage hunters, but I could never kill another creature. I just don't have it in me. For the most part, I am just like you, just a bit quirky. All right, a lot quirky.”

Why did the moral standards of our youth deteriorate astonishingly, from one extreme to the other, over the last few decades? Both in outlook and in action, we observe an almost sub-human behavior among many of the youth. Things that youngsters would not imagine to do decades ago, are now the norm. Where did we go wrong?

We stopped focusing on the most important goal of education: values, character development, and cultivating a moral conscience in each of our youngsters. We stopped teaching children that the most important aspect of life is knowing right from wrong.

I grew up in a Jewish orthodox school in Brooklyn. There were many children who came from dysfunctional homes, who were poor, who were bullied, who were molested, and who suffered from emotional challenges. In the 16 years I spent in that same school, no child ever picked up a knife to another student or to a teacher. We lit smoke bombs, we harassed our poor teachers, and we were obnoxious. Some kids placed a raw egg under the seat of a teacher they disliked; others “built” 200 paper airplanes which they sent flying at one of the teachers (it turns out now, he more than deserved it. He was a molester). But this was the extent of the crimes we could conceive of, even those in the school who were truly underprivileged.

Why was this so? Because each of these children absorbed in their mother’s milk, and during each day of education they received, that stabbing and killing another human being is absolutely evil; it is eternally wrong. It is not a social norm, or only against US law; it is essentially and intrinsically evil, and G-d holds each of us responsible for immoral behavior.

This is what penetrates the hearts and souls of children.

This is what children need to hear, each day of their lives.

Teaching children that murder is wrong because it is against the law, or it is not “nice,” does not penetrate the heart of hearts of many youth. It is a shallow argument. By teaching our children that the Creator and Ruler of the world has deemed certain behaviors as wrong and evil, and this Creator cares about the behavior of every person and expects of him/her to behave with goodness and kindness toward others, and will hold this child responsible for their actions, we can hope to ingrain these values in them in a far more effective way. The child must be given to understand that the world is not a jungle, for there is a Creator and Master who sees and evaluates all his actions, there is an, in the expression of the Talmud, an "eye that sees and the ear that hears."

When morality is based on my own moods and inclinations, or the norms of the school or the society, I can end up justifying the most heinous crimes. Germany was the most advanced nation in science and philosophy, yet in the name of science it produced the most chilling criminals in the annals of human history.

King David put it in Psalms: “The genesis of wisdom is the fear of G-d.” When children are inculcated from the youngest age with a “fear of G-d,” in the healthiest sense of the term, with a recognition that G-d has deemed certain behaviors evil, and He is watching them, there is a far greater chance for them to behave morally, despite internal turmoil and all types of challenges life my confer upon them.

Faith, of course, can also become a source of evil. Ask the Islamists. When we teach our children that G-d wants them to murder “infidels,” religion becomes toxic and dangerous. Yet the solution is not to dismiss the notion of absolute right and wrong, just as the solution for obesity and cholesterol is not to stop eating all together; it is to stop eating the wrong foods.

One whatsapp message going around today captured it well.

“Dear God, why do you allow so much violence in our schools? Signed, a concerned student.

“Dear concerned student, I’m not allowed in schools. Signed, God.”

A Single Man’s Revolution

There is one man I know seeking to create some change in one city.[1]

At the border of Crown Heights and Brownsville, in an impoverished corner of Brooklyn, stands the hulking, tan brick building that houses P.S. 191, the Paul Robeson School.

The school serves a student population that is remarkable in its disadvantage: 99% of its roughly 300 students in pre-kindergarten through fifth grade qualify for free or reduced-price lunches; some live at the homeless shelter next door.

But every morning at 8:30, half an hour after rambunctious kids come bouncing into the building in their blue school uniforms, this school becomes remarkable in a different way.

It gets quiet. For a full minute, there is only silence.

After a teacher and a handful of students announce the moment of silence over the loudspeaker system and offer something to think about for that day — a personal goal, or how to help someone else — each and every person at P.S. 191, from the littlest 4-year-old pre-kindergartener to the principal, pauses for 60 seconds.

P.S. 191 has been observing this morning ritual for the past three years, ever since Avraham Frank, a Chabad Chasidic Jew heeding the late Lubavitcher Rebbe’s call (back in the 70s and 80s when the violence in schools increased dramatically) for a daily moment of silence in public schools, walked in off the street and introduced the idea to the principal. So far Frank, a white-bearded 64-year-old with a day job managing home attendants for New York City’s Human Resources Administration, has persuaded administrators at 13 public schools in Brooklyn, Manhattan and Queens to institute a moment of silence.

His goal, he said, is to get moments of silence into schools “all over the city.”

Though school-sponsored prayer in American public schools has been prohibited since the 1962 U.S. Supreme Court decision in Engel v. Vitale, voluntary, student-initiated, private prayer is not. In response to the ban on school-sponsored prayer, there has been a nationwide push for the introduction into public schools of daily moments of silence that students can use to pray or reflect.

 “I have seen tremendous changes behavior-wise and in terms of punctuality,” said Sonia Witter-Clue, the supervising school aide. “The kids want to be here for the moment of silence. When they miss it, you can see they’re upset.”

Her 5-year-old granddaughter and 8-year-old son, both students at P.S. 191, love it so much that they insist on having a moment of silence even at home on the weekends, she said.

And it has had a direct impact on the kids’ academic success, said Hadar Gafhi, the school’s assistant principal.

“It focuses the children,” she said. During the moment of silence “they’ve made their resolutions for the day and are ready to learn, and they get right to work,” Gafhi said. “We’re seeing tremendous academic growth in our kids.”

Today, we need a paradigm shift in education both at home and in schools across the country. We must teach our children to be “mentchen” not only for the police not to get them in trouble or for people to disapprove of their behavior, but because there is something called right and wrong—and it matters. Kids will get that.

The Rebbe to Reagan

Thirty years ago, on May 17, 1987, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, penned a letter to President Ronald Reagan in The White House.

“…It is particularly gratifying that you… bring to the attention of the Nation and of the International community the need of upgrading education in terms of moral values, without which no true education can be considered complete.

“Consistent with your often declared position, that ‘no true education can leave out the moral and spiritual dimensions of human life and human striving,’ you, Mr. President, once again remind parents and teachers, in the opening paragraph of your Proclamation, that their sacred trust to children must include "wisdom, love, decency, moral courage and compassion, as part of everyone's education." Indeed, where these values are lacking, education is - to use a classical phrase – “like a body without a soul."

“With the summer recess approaching, one cannot help wondering how many juveniles could be encouraged to use their free time productively, rather than getting into mischief - if they were mindful of - to quote your words - a Supreme Being and a Law higher than man's…”

[1] http://forward.com/articles/124918/evangelist-for-silence-promotes-a-quiet-gift/