This class was presented on Tuesday, Parshas Ki Seitzei, 10 Elul, 5782, September 6, 2022, at 18 Forshay, Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

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21_8705_women_ki_seitzei_elul_5782.9389.mp4

21_8705_women_ki_seitzei_elul_5782.9389.mp3

returning a lost object

despair

leiptzig

reb yerucham

reb mendel futerfas

depression

Chanah Leah Gave Up, But That Meant Nothing

Women’s Ki Seitzei/Elul Class

How Can You Despair on a Life That Is Not Yours?

In the very first recorded decision in the history of legal jurisprudence, in the Book of Books (Kings II 3:16), we read about King Solomon&#39;s brilliance and how it endeared him at such a tender age to the entire nation of Israel, who willingly accepted him as their monarch.

Two women gave birth, one of the children died. Both women came before King Solomon, each one claiming that their child was the living one. The king decreed the child be cut in half, to which one woman agreed to give up the baby, while the other insisted on the verdict. Solomon rewarded the baby to the first woman. The Tanach says that as a result of this, the entire nation saw the Divine wisdom in the king.&nbsp;

The story is filled with riddles and questions. This fascinating class analysis the thought process behind the king&rsquo;s decision, the behavior of the two women, one of them obviously lying, and what so impressed the people about this decision. It also explains the story from a psychological and spiritual perspective.

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22_yyj ki seitze- english source sheet final.pdf

21_rabbi_yy_jacobson_sunday_class_08232015_3.mp4

21_rabbi_yy_jacobson_sunday_class_08232015_3.mp3

shlomo hamelech

ki seitzei

yibum

haftorah miketz

two women and baby

Uncovering the Subplot Behind the Famous Biblical Story of Shlomo’s Verdict

Class Ki Seitzei/Haftorah Miketz

Two Women & a Baby: The Wisdom of King Solomon

"If a man will have two wives, one beloved and one unloved, and both the loved and unloved wives have sons, and the firstborn son is that of the hated one; on the day that this man wills his property to his sons, he cannot give the son of the beloved wife birthright preference above the son of the hated wife, the firstborn. Rather, he must recognize the firstborn, the son of the hated one, to give him the double portion in all his property."
These verses are perplexing and enigmatic on many levels. The most disturbing question: Why present such an unfortunate scenario to tell us a simple law? The class explores a fascinating story and commentary by the Vilna Gaon, denied emphatically by the Netziv. We explore an identical verdict by Reb Chaim of Volozhin and the objections of Reb Shlomo Kluger. We discover the brilliant defense of the Klei Chemdah, and at last, the psychological interpretation of this mitzvah in the writings of the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schnuer Zalman of Liadi, exploring the romantic vs. the struggling soul.
&nbsp;
This class was presented Sunday, 8 Elul 5776, 9-11-16, at Ohr Chaim, Monsey, NY.

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22_ac.pdf

21_rabbi_yy_jacobson_sunday_class_09112016.mp4

21_rabbi_yy_jacobson_sunday_class_09112016.mp3

reuven

reuben son of jacob

rachel

firstborn

vilna gaon

teitzei

shlomo kluger

leah

two wives

bechor

reuben

The “Loved” and “Unloved” Spouse in the World of the Vilna Gaon, Reb Chaim Volozhiner, Reb Shlomo Kluger & the Alter Rebbe 

A Tale of Two Wives

Do You Ever Throw a Child Out of the House? How to Deal with Rebellious Children. This class was presented in Adar 5777, March 2017, at Ohr Chain, Monsey, NY, at the conclusion of the daily Gemarah Shuir, Rosh Hashanah 16b, where the Gemarah says that Yishmael was judged based on his present siaution, not based on his future generations. The class was a response to the question, why, then, when it comes to a Ben Sorer Umoreh do we judge him based on his future, not his present?

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21_gemara_thurs_3_23_standalone.a9c9.mp4

21_gemara_thurs_3_23_standalone.a9c9.mp3

child abuse

education

yishamel

trauma

chinuch

ben sorer umoreh

child molestation

How to Deal with Children Who Break All Your Rules

Do You Ever Throw a Child Out of the House?

This women&#39;s class was presented on Tuesday Parshas Ki Seitzi, 10 Elul, 5779, September 10, 2019 at the Ohr Chaim Shul, Monsey, NY

There is a strange Mishnah concerning a mitzvah in the portion of Ki Seitzei. &ldquo;Someone who says, &lsquo;Your mercy extends upon a nest of birds,&rsquo; is to be silenced&hellip; Someone who says Modim Modim twice, &ldquo;Thank You G-d,&rdquo; &ldquo;Thank You G-d,&rdquo; is to be silenced.&rdquo;

What is the juxtaposition between the two cases&mdash;the person who speaks of G-d&rsquo;s compassion to the birds, and the person who says &ldquo;Modim&rdquo; twice. Why does the Mishnah pair them together in a single sentence and dictates us to silence them both equally? The class presents a fabulous interpretation by Rabbi Yosef Chayim (1835-1909), the Ben Ish Chai, chief Rabbi of Baghdad.

There is another enigmatic Mishnah in Ethics of the Fathers: Rebbi would say: Which is the right path for a person to choose for himself? Whatever is beautiful for the one who does it, and is also perceived as beautiful by other people.

Both the question and answer are deeply problematic. How can the Mishnah&mdash;the primary body of the Jewish oral transition and law&mdash;wonder &ldquo;what is the right path for a person?&rdquo; For this, we were given the Torah!

What is more, the Mishnah emphasizes that the person ought to choose the right path. Is this the Jewish approach? Since when did the Mishnah become so liberal as to allow each person to choose his or her path in life?!

Even more strange is the author of this question&mdash;none other than Rabbi Judah the Prince, who was the spiritual leader of the Jewish people during his day, and the editor of the Mishnah&mdash;the main body of Jewish law and tradition.

His answer seems no less startling. Rebbi suggests to each person to choose a path that he considers beautiful, and that others consider beautiful. Really? What if what I think is beautiful contradicts the Torah? And what if what the street considered glorious undermines the moral system of Judaism?

These questions were raised by the Lubavitcher Rebbe during his &ldquo;fabrengen&rdquo; on Shabbos Parshas Tazria-Metzora 5748 (May, 1988). I still remember the intensity of the Rebbe&rsquo;s powerful questions on this Mishnah&mdash;seemingly out of sync with what we often think of Judaism.

And then the Rebbe presented one of the most beautiful and inspiring explanations. In my mind&rsquo;s eye I can still see and hear the Rebbe share these moving insights, which reframed my perspective on Judaism.

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22_ac_monsey_weomen_5779.07d4.pdf

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21_7134_rabbi_yy_jacobson_emunah__31_womens_ki_seitzei_5779.333a.mp3

mitzvos

ben ish chai

shluach hakan

rational judaism

birds nest

logic

mother bird

Two Roads Diverged in Jewish Thought; Can We Synthesize Them?

The Emunah Series/Women's Class Ki Seitzei

Basics of Emunah #31: Is Judaism Rational or Irrational?

A debate between the Karaites and traditional Jews focused on the anomaly of the Rabbis calling the document of divorce a &ldquo;get,&rdquo; neglecting the biblical term for the writ of divorce (&ldquo;sefer krisus&rdquo;).

This class presents an explanation why it is specifically the portion discussing the daily lamb sacrifices that conveys the essence of an enduring relationship. From a spiritual and psychological perspective, these two types of offerings represent two types of sacrifice: Self-motivated sacrifice vs. complete sacrifice; conditional sacrifice vs. unconditional sacrifice.

It is this type of relationship that eliminates the possibility of divorce. Hence, it is from this offering that the Torah omits the two letters representing divorce.

118_pinchash.jpg

22_pinchas_5770-1.pdf

Pinchas5770.360p.mp4

Pinchas5770.mp3

sacrifices

relationships

parshas pinchas

divorce

burnt offering

tamid

gitin

gittin

I Love You Because You are Beautiful, vs. You are Beautiful Because I Love You

Letters of Strife and the Mechanism of Love

On 23 Tamuz, 1570, one of the greatest mystics in Jewish history, Rabbi Moshe Cordovero, known as the Ramak, passed away. At his funeral, he was eulogized by his student and contemporary, the greatest Kabbalist, the Arizal, Rabbi Yitzchak Luria, who spoke about the reason the righteous experience death.

The class dissects the meaning behind this eulogy of the Arizal and gives perspective on how to appreciate the underlying mechanisms behind world events and our life experiences. It also relates an incredible story about a meeting between the legendary Reb Michael Ber Weissmandel&nbsp;and the sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe&nbsp;after the Second World War.

Part of the class is based on Likkutei Sichos vol. 24 Ki Seitzei, analyzing the eulogy of the Arizal.

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22_masei_5771-0.pdf

rabbi_yossi_jacobson__on_the_mystery_of_death.360p.mp4

rabbi_yossi_jacobson__on_the_mystery_of_death.mp3

rebbe rayatz

arizal

michael ber weismandle

nachum prager

moshe cordovero

The Mystery of Death: The Eulogy Presented by the Arizal at the Funeral of Rabbi Moshe Cordovero

Ki Seitzei

Who Is Responsible for the Holocaust?

Rabbi YY Jacobson addressed the&nbsp;Hebrew Free Burial Association fundraiser on&nbsp;Sunday, 28 Cheshvan, 5781, November 15, 2020. 
To donate go to&nbsp;<a href="https://hfba.thechesedfund.com">https://hfba.thechesedfund.com</a>

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21_7817_rabbi_yy_jacobson_lecture_hebrew_burial_society_nov_16_20.e8c2.mp4

21_7817_rabbi_yy_jacobson_lecture_hebrew_burial_society_nov_16_20.e8c2.mp3

cemetery

cremation

burial

funeral

steven amon

The Sacredness of Your Body

Lecture Hebrew Free Burial Association/Ki Seitzei

Why Does Judaism Oppose Cremation?

The law in this week&rsquo;s portion concerning a wayward son seems absurd and horrific. A death sentence for what? For eating meat and drinking wine? For stealing food? Isn&rsquo;t this punishment rather excessive?&nbsp; He is only a 13-year-old kid?&nbsp; And did his offenses really merit capital punishment?&nbsp; 

The Mishnah and Talmud, quoted in Rashi on our portion, give this answer: He is not being punished for his current sins. Rather, given his outrageous current behavior, the Torah testifies that it is inevitable that he will grow up to be a robber and murderer.&nbsp; So better to kill him now, before he murders other people and before he destroys his own soul. The patterns of his behavior demonstrate that he is doomed to a life of inevitable evil. Get rid of him now.

Yet this is absurd. All of Judaism is based on the fact that even a sinner can repent. Certainly, a 13-year-old boy who is at this point not killing yet, certainly he may change his ways. How can we be certain that he will become a murderer?&nbsp;An axiom in Judaism is, &ldquo;Nothing stands in the way of Teshuvah.&rdquo; And here we say that a 13-year-old troubled boy is destined to grow into a monster? Why?&nbsp; 

True, as the Talmud says, this story never happened nor will it happen. But how are we to understand the law in theory? What is a lesson the Torah is trying to impart in this law?

There is a beautiful answer given by the Shem Mishmuel, authored by Rabbi Shmuel Bornstein (1856-1926), the Rebbe of Sochotshov, Poland.&nbsp;&nbsp;The answer contains one of the most critical lessons for our day and age in terms of how parents and educators deal with children who are difficult, challenging, and often take us through the wringer.

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rebellious children

How Do You Deal with Children Who Put You through the Wringer?

Essay Ki Seitzei

Can You Forgive Your Child?

Who's Doing the Talking?

"Does marriage change one's personality?" Greg asked his buddy Mike.

"In a way," says Mike. "You see, when I was engaged, I did most of the talking and she did most of the listening. When we just got married she did most of the talking and I did most of the listening.

"Now we both do most of the talking and the neighbors do all of the listening."

Firstborn Rights

This week's Torah portion (Ki Seitzei) states the following law<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn1" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref1')">[1]</a>:

"If a man will have two wives, one beloved and one unloved, and both the loved and unloved wives have sons, and the firstborn son is that of the unloved one; on the day that this man wills his property to his sons, he cannot give the son of the beloved wife birthright preference above the son of the unloved&nbsp;wife, the firstborn.

"Rather, he must recognize the firstborn, the son of the unloved one, to give him the double portion in all his property."

On the most literal level, these&nbsp;verses mandate that a firstborn son shall inherit a double portion of his father's estate, while each subsequent son shall inherit an equal portion of the property. A father does not have the power to bequeath the double portion reserved for the firstborn to one of the other sons he loves, and any attempt to do so is ignored by Jewish law.

As the Talmud makes clear<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn2" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref2')">[2]</a>, a person is certainly empowered to distribute his entire estate to one of the other sons (or to any other individual for that matter), as long as he conveys it as a gift. But if he chooses to bequeath the estate to one of the sons as an&nbsp;inheritance&nbsp;and so deny his firstborn son's rights as a natural&nbsp;heir, then the father's attempt has no legal validity in the Jewish judicial system<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn3" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref3')">[3]</a>.

What is disturbing, however, is the Torah's need to state the point via a negative example of a man who loves one of his wives and loathes the other. Why was it necessary to use a crude and offensive illustration in order to make the simple point that the firstborn son is entitled to a double portion of the inheritance regardless of the father's preferences?

A Spiritual Manual

One of the essential factors to bear in mind during Torah study is the idea that each mitzvah, law, and episode described in the Torah contains—in addition to its physical and concrete interpretation—a psychological and spiritual dimension as well<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn4" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref4')">[4]</a>. In his commentary on the Torah, 13th-century Spanish sage, Nachmanides, writes<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn5" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref5')">[5]</a>:&nbsp;"The Torah discusses the physical reality, but it alludes to the world of the spirit." Another great Kabbalist went even further. 17th-century mystic Rabbi Menachem Azaryah of Fanu (in Italy) states that "The Torah discusses the spiritual reality, and it alludes to the physical world<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn6" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref6')">[6]</a>."

The stories and laws in the Torah ought to be understood first and foremost as events and laws in the spiritual realm, and this is actually the primary method of Torah interpretation. But in its communication of spiritual truths, the Torah also lends itself to be interpreted in a physical and concrete fashion.

What then is the spiritual meaning of the seemingly coarse description of "a man who will have two wives, one beloved and one unloved, and both the loved and unloved wives have sons, and the firstborn son is that of the hated one"? How are we to understand this in the universe of the spirit?&nbsp;

The Struggling Vs. the Romantic Soul

Judaism teaches that the relationship between each husband and wife reflects the cosmic relationship between G-d (the Groom) and the Jewish people (the Bride). The entire book "Song of Songs"&nbsp;by King Solomon is based on the notion that our human relationships are capable of reflecting the Divine marriage with Israel<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn7" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref7')">[7]</a>.

There are two types of people&nbsp;who enter into a marriage with G-d: the "beloved spouse" and the "unloved&nbsp;spouse." The "beloved spouse" represents those individuals who enjoy a continuous romance with G-d. Their souls are overflowing with spiritual ecstasy, selfless idealism, and fiery inspiration. They cannot stop loving G-d, and G-d cannot stop loving them. On the other end of the spectrum stand the "despised spouses," people possessing numerous qualities that can easily be spurned: immoral urges, depressing feelings, vulgar passions, ugly temptations, and angry sensations.

These are the people whose hearts are not always ablaze with love toward the Divine oneness of reality; their marriage to their Divine soul is a struggle. Their psyches vibrate with paradox. Throughout their life, they must battle not to become a victim of challenging instincts and cravings&nbsp;<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn8" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref8')">[8]</a>.&nbsp;

The Torah teaches us that G-d's "firstborn son" may very well come not from His union with the beloved spouse but rather from His relationship with the despised spouse<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn9" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref9')">[9]</a>. The spiritual harvest that a struggling human being produces as a result of his or her tumultuous romance with G-d, may often be far deeper and more powerful than that of the spiritually serene person.

Working with all the parts in my brain and heart, discovering the goodness deeply hidden in all of my emotions and dispositions, brings me to a much deeper space of oneness and love&nbsp;<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn10" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref10')">[10]</a>. The morality and the integrity that emerges from the midst of my confronting daily the parts of me that seem so loathsome contain a unique depth and splendor not possessed by the straightforward saintly path.

Thus, "On the day that He wills His property to His sons, He cannot give the son of the beloved wife birthright preference above the son of the hated wife, the firstborn. Rather, He must recognize the firstborn, the son of the hated one, to give him the double portion in all His property."&nbsp;On a spiritual level,&nbsp;this means, that on the day that Moshiach will come, when humanity will finally taste the full-Divinity in the world--and when I discover the Moshiach consciousness in my own intimate life--a "double portion" of G-dliness will be revealed in the arduous labor and sweat of the individual who never stopped fighting for his soul.

During the Struggle

You might recall the moving poem written by a profound heart:

One night I had a dream. I dreamed I was walking along the beach with G-d. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene, I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was only one.

I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to G-d, “You promised me, Lord, that you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most difficult times of my life, there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you were not there for me?”

G-d replied, “My precious child, I love you, and would never leave you. The times when you saw only one set of footprints, was when I was carrying you.”

(This essay is based on a discourse by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi delivered in 1793<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn11" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref11')">[11]</a>).

(Please make even a small and secure contribution to help us continue our work.&nbsp;<a href="https://secure.theyeshiva.net/Donate">Click here</a>.)&nbsp;

_______________

<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref1" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn1')">[1]</a> Deuteronomy 21:15-17. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref2" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn2')">[2]</a> Mishnah Bava Basra 126b. Cf. Rambam Hilchos Nachalos chapter 6; Tur and Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat section 281; Sefer Hachenuch Mitzvah 400. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref3" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn3')">[3]</a> For an explanation of this law see Sefer HaChinuch ibid. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref4" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn4')">[4]</a> See Likkutei Sichos vol. 23 pp. 37-38 and references noted there. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref5" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn5')">[5]</a> At the conclusion of his commentary to Genesis 1:1. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref6" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn6')">[6]</a> Asarah Maamaros Maammar Chekur Din 3:22. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref7" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn7')">[7]</a> Cf. Rambam Laws of Teshuvah chapter 10. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref8" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn8')">[8]</a> See Tanya chapter 27 for an elaborate discussion of these two types of souls. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref9" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn9')">[9]</a> See Tanya ibid. Cf. Likkutei Sichos vol. 20 pp. 108-115 that this constituted the essential distinction between the souls of Jacob and his twin brother Esau and this was the superior potential of Esau's soul, for which reason Isaac desired to grant him his blessings. This fits well with Or Hatorah Ki Seitzei (vol. 6 p. 2359) where the author explains that the "two wives" discussed in this week's portion reflect the spirits of Jacob and Esau. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref10" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn10')">[10]</a> Cf. Or Hachaim on the verse, who explains on the literal level, that the Torah is promising the firstborn son to the unloved wife. 
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref11" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn11')">[11]</a> Maamarei Admur Hazaken Haktzarim pp. 118-119 (for the date of this discourse&nbsp; -- see footnote there). See also Likkutei Torah Seitzei pp. 37-38 and Or Hatorah quoted in footnote # 9 for a similar explanation on the subject.

&nbsp;

A Tale of Two Spouses - A Stroll with G-d on the Beach

904_beach walk.jpg

22_eikev_5771.pdf

struggle

marriage

tension

human struggle

Struggling with My Challenging Parts Brings Me a Double Portion of Light

A Tale of Two Spouses

Divorce is a fact of life, especially in today&rsquo;s culture. But what are the grounds for divorce? When do you know it&rsquo;s time to throw in the towel and just give up?

&quot;It will be if she does not find favor in his eyes, for he found in her an unseemly [moral] matter, an &lsquo;ervas davar,&rsquo; then he may write a divorce.&quot; (Deuteronomy 24:1.) But what does this mean practically? The Mishnah at the conclusion of Tractate Gittin quotes a three-way dispute between the school of Shammai, the school of Hillel, and Rabbi Akiva.

Bais Shammai&mdash;known for their strict opinion in most matters of Jewish law&mdash;say that divorce should only occur over a matter of immorality; only if the marriage has been betrayed by infidelity are there grounds for divorce. (Even then, the rabbis say, one must investigate the matter very carefully and not act impulsively.)

Bais Hillel&mdash;usually known for their leniency&mdash;say that divorce is permitted &ldquo;even if she burns his dish.&rdquo; Comes Rabbi Akiva&mdash;whose devotion and gratitude to his wife Rachel was legendary&mdash;and says that even if a man just finds a more beautiful woman, he may divorce his wife.

We can understand the first opinion. But the other two opinions seem incomprehensible. This might work for the Hollywood Code of Ethics, but not for the Sages of the school of Hillel!?

The commentators explain that they were referring to a woman who intentionally burns her husband&rsquo;s food just to torture him. Ok, granted. But how can we justify Rabbi Akiva&rsquo;s opinion? You are walking down the street and you see a better-looking woman, now you may go home and get divorced?

127_kith.jpg

22_ki_seitzei_ac_final.pdf

Teizei2010.360p.mp4

Teizei2010.mp3

romance

rabbi akiva

grounds for divorce

The Talmudic Version of Romance

What Are the Grounds for Divorce?

this is wonderful

Hilchos Loshon Horo?

Does the Mizbeach Cry when an Abusive Marriage Ends?&nbsp;What Every Abused Spouse Must Know. Rabbi YY Jacobson led a telephone conference call on the painful topic of abuse in marriages, followed by Q and A, on April 30, 2017.

Should I End My Abusive Marriage?

What Every Abused Spouse Must Know

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