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Decades Have Passed Since the Abuse, But Has My Family Changed?

Why Didn't Yosef Send a Message to His Father that He Was Alive? Why Did He Torment His Brothers?

1 hr 39 min

Class Summary:

This class was presented on Tuesday, Parshas Vayigash, 7 Tevet, 5784, December 19, 2023, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.

Finally one of the most dramatic stories in the Torah reaches its climax. Yosef reveals himself to his brothers and ultimately reunites with his beloved father after 22 years of heart-break and suffering. The brothers are first shocked, embarrassed, and then finally relieved.

But let us take a step back. Yosef had recognized his brothers immediately, yet chose to conceal this fact. Instead, he accused them, imprisoned them, and forced them to and from Egypt, ultimately tearing beloved Benjamin away from Yaakov, and causing his elderly father more unnecessary prolonged suffering. If he forgave them, then he should have revealed himself immediately, and reunited with his father?! And finally, only after this whole ordeal does he choose to do what he should have done initially, identify himself. Why did he do this? Was it revenge? Or to exact punishment on his brothers? 

This class will show how Yosef’s actions show us the depth of true healing, and define the process of true repentance. Yosef was not manipulating his brothers; on the contrary, he was guiding them. It was only due to his superficial ‘heartlessness’ that sincere, heartfelt, reconciliation became possible.

Healing, or Teshuvah has three irreplaceable components: remorse for the past, resolve for the future, and finally, a moment, a déjà vu, when that resolve is fully actualized and proven. Joseph wanted to ensure that his brothers experienced all three so that a new chapter in history can begin.

The lessons today, as the Jewish people are at war, are powerful. This is a time for internal transformation.

Please leave your comment below!

  • Anonymous -4 months ago

    Thank you so much for making your Shiurim so available to people around the world, I listen weekly to the Women's class as well as many other of your Shiurim.
    Your words have really soothed, comforted me, helped heal me and aid my growth along my journey and hopefully inspire others.

    I really enjoyed yesterday's class but have one question. Why did Yosef feel it was his place / need to check out if his brothers had done a complete Teshuva? Why was it his responsibility? 

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

    • YJ

      YY Jacobson -4 months ago

      1. he would not return to the family if they are so broken.

      2. he felt that his dreams were a heavenly indication that he was the king and leader empowered to lead the path and help them reveal their greatness.

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  • DW

    Dovid Wilks -6 months ago

    Why did Yosef care if his brothers did tshuvah?

    Perhaps there is a בעלי בתיש way to describe Yosef's motivation for wanting to know if his brothers had done complete tshuvah.  Yosef wanted to know if his brothers would continue to hate him on the inside. He knew that, of course, he would be honored on the outside for providing for the family. Being respected for your position and power is nothing like being loved for who you are.

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  • SNMEC

    Stephen N. Miller, Encinitas, Ca. -6 months ago

    Thank you.

    You have eloquently enhanced and embelished the wonder of my life as a Jew having lived protected and distant in the USA from my birth in 1933,  spanning the worst of our history, The Shoah, and the best, kumat hamedina Israel. And again, now, with 7 October 2023, am Israel with Z'hal, Jewish power, saying, "We do not have to cry and crawl away to survive. We can protect ourselves with force so you will not be able to brutalize us again when you want."

    Thank you, again.

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  • Anonymous -6 months ago

    amazing amazing thank you rabbi yy gut shabbos

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  • צאר

    צבי אלימלך ראם -6 months ago

    יישר כוחכם כבוד הרב 

    גיוואלדיק ממש

    כעין זה ב'רלב"ג' על התורה 

    שיוסף רצה לחזור אך ורק למשפחה מאוחדת באמת ואכפתית!!!

    רלב"ג בראשית פמ"ד: והנה השתדל יוסף להעליל על אחיו בינימין לבחון איך יהיה מנהג אחיו עמו. רצונו לומר אם הם שונאים אותו ויעזבהו וילכו, או אם הם יאהבוהו וישתדלו בהצלתו כפי היכולת, ולזה כאשר נתברר לו שאחיו נוהגים עם בנימין כמנהג אחים- אזי גילה להם שהוא יוסף.

    א גוט שבת 

    תלמידך 

    צבי אלימלך ראם

    ארץ הקודש

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

Vayigash Women's Class

Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • December 19, 2023
  • |
  • 7 Tevet 5784
  • |
  • 2772 views

Dedicated by Liz and Dr. Michael Muschel in loving memory of her father, Rav Yisroel Yitzchak haLevi ben HaRav Binyamin, who passed away 24 years ago on 11 Teves. Rabbi Irving Levy was a respected Talmid Chacham, legendary Baal Chesed, and one of the founders of the Monsey community.

Dedicated by Dina Dornbusch for the refuah sheleima of Rivka Batsheva bas Pessi.

Happy 30th wedding anniversary to Reb Shlomo and Blimi Kaller.

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