Rabbi YY in Conversation with Trauma Victims
Rabbi YY Jacobson
3588 צפיותהאזינו לכיתה בטלפון
שִׂיחָה +1 (845) 201-1933
כשתתבקש, חייג את מספר הזהות שלהלן.
Dedicated by Yuriy and Irina Rakhlin in honor of their daughter Elena
Dedicated by Pesha Goldsmith in honor of her dear husband Eliyahu
Does Yom Kippur Cause You Anxiety? - Live Blunt conversation with Rabbi YY, Motzai Shabbos, Parshas Haazinu, September 23, 2023.
Rabbi YY in Conversation with Trauma Victims
Rabbi YY Jacobson
Dedicated by Yuriy and Irina Rakhlin in honor of their daughter Elena
Dedicated by Pesha Goldsmith in honor of her dear husband Eliyahu
צרפו חברים ומשפחה לקבוצת הווסטאפ שלנו
צרפו חברים ומשפחה לקבוצת הווסטאפ שלנו
אנא השאירו את תגובתכם למטה!
tzvi hirsh shusterman -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
one of a kind shiur!
wow! an amzaing shiur! one of a kind
so true a must watch! such healing words thank you so much reb yosef yitzchak!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
Is there really a chance to ever get back to the you from before the trauma? I've been working for years to return to the old me from before the traumatic trigger, and I'm losing hope that I'll ever return. The old easygoing me is gone, and in its place is a ruined person. Is there ever hope to return to myself?
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
M H -2 חודשים לִפנֵי
Hi, I would love to help you with some free resources, I am a certified Innate Health coach and I know, that no matter what you have been through, you can always come home - it just has to be done the right way, with love, embracing, compassion and truth
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
M H -2 חודשים לִפנֵי
please email [email protected]
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Oy. I had cancer many years ago. It was likely stage 2 or nearly 3, depending on which doctor you asked. My parents and siblings understood me and my way of life and actions respectfully but my wife and children, didn't. Do I understand that it's your kids/wife/or siblings giving you the trouble, rather than parent (if they're still living, amve"sh)?
In anycase, we both know the pain and fear from this scary and threatning monstor. It's real and there are no guarentees (I do bless you with a refuah shleima and belive that Hasehm can and will do nissim for you)! I don't know exactly what to tell you, especially that I'm not going through your situation and barely know you! It seems to me from you message that you're in desperation and yiush. Please don't. When you will be out of this, really soon, bs"d, you'll be a beackon and light to others and be able to be mechazek them and give them hope. I was NOT a good patient and gvetshed alot, I wish I didn't because repeating the story of my life I had at that time, is marred by bleakness and hopelessness (not even blaming myself; there are natures and also ways of accepting pain). NO JUDGING C"V. Just discussing with you like my best friend!
You cannot control others but if by "any' chance, you can develop a backbone and find happiness and meaning in something you have passion for, you might be able to ignore (yes, it might be the only way for now: they will get the message and actually draw closer to you when they see your independance)! Iv'e moved mountains that way with a less understandable illness (not to say which is worse); mental illness! I showed such levels of not caring what others say or think that human nature prevaied where me loved ones chose to change their opinions (see, I suffer emotional issues and also had cancer once and BH in remission for many years). I'm the one answering because I'm not sure how other can answer pain and suffering the same way (Hashem should steer them away from all harm), but I'm ALWAYS open to you, RABBI JACOBSON to hear if and what I'm missing to help this wonderful tzaddik!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
GL -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Thank you for this. There were many helpful points that helped me this Yom Kippur.
I just wanted to share one thought that I had this YK at neilah, that I thought could be helpful to others as well.
It was one of those Yom Kippurs that I couldn’t daven much.
Just too much overwhelm and overthinking about how I’m not doing Yom Kippur right.
Especially by Ne’ilah. The fear that has been instilled in us that the gates are closing and we didn’t do YK right.
Then I remembered the quote from the Lubavitcher rebbe that “the gates are closing, but you are inside”.
But it still didn’t sit well with me.
If I’m inside, then what’s the idea of the gates closing?
Then a thought reframed it.
On Yom Kippur we overthink. Too much, sometimes.
So at neilah - the gates close.
And yes - we’re inside.
But what gets locked out?
Our overthinking. Our teshuva OCD. The fears of not having done Yom Kippur right. All that stays locked out.
We end Yom Kippur on the inside - clean and accepted. And we leave all that spiritual negativity locked outside.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Beautiful
מחילה
comes from the word
מחול
which is dancing
ריקוד
Why?
You forgive yourself. Hashem forgives you and you forgive Hashem.
When we forgive ourselves, we forgive Hashem. Hashem forgives us.
We go back into the dance of life, we start dancing again.
There`s a circle, its a dance.
How nice!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Jerry C. -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Thank you Rabbi.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Mark -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
All his speeches sound the same, all about trauma and addiction.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
SarahIsrael -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
No that is what you whose to pick their is a myriad of lectures to select from.
go to Yeshiva. Net and pick from the long list or go to i Torah or many other sites to get many YY short stories or full length lectures. Your choice.
Get off to a Good Start for the New Year put your Best Click foward.
Hatzlacha Rabbah!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Chaim Bochner -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
When you solve these issues, maube we can go on to something else!!!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Tzvi h -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Hi Rabbi YY himself addressed this question in this shiur check it out
https://theyeshiva.net/jewish/8990/embed
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Ty, Tzvi, but also in this class itself, the rabbi explained why..
It's very unfortunate that some people just like to kvetch about theese things
hatzlacha to all
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Andre Politzer -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
You said it but one your main message for the question about forgiving the perpetrators is that they were designated as "messengers" and in spite of the suffering, helped us grow. Thank you for the wonderful insights tonight. They probably touched many to the core.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
אורלי חיים נוריאל -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
לא, ואתך הסליחה. אבל באתר העברי שלנו יש כמה שיעורים על סליחות, ראש השנה ויום כיפור בנושאים דומים.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
mendel yakovson -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
https://www.chabad.org/multimedia/video_cdo/aid/1635549/jewish/The-Rebbes-Yizkor-Speech.htm
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
avraham from ירושלים תובב"א -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Here is the deepest but simplest truth.
How do you know if your thoughts and understanding about yourself / judaism is correct or wrong?
Answer : if it helps you come closer to Hashem its true. if it distances you from Hashem (eg. you feel negative, or yiush, or resentful towards yourself or Hashem etc.) then its Its False! WRONG ! its NOT Judaism! period!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Yes, well said. Exactly. Thank you.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Simy -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
The live questions were on Zoom for those who are alumni of Freshstart.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Reouven -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
The live questions were on Zoom for those who are alumni of Freshstart.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Freidy Katzman -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
SarahIsrael -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Forgiving yourself is the key to personal growth freedom peace but most of all Spiritual Growth.
Hashem forgives 365 24/7
all that's asked is you work for him and in doing so self forgiveness and self fulfillment will come and overflow.
We just must ask for forgiveness work not to stumble over the same rock
as stubbing your toe repeatedly you will deform your body and the objective is to perfect ourselves. So when u see you stumbling block/weakness walk around it. Pick up a Tehillim a siddur, Tanach, music anything to retrain your brain. It takes practice but if you had the courage to ask you have the courage to change.
You can& will succeed just take that first step, the 2nd and infinity will follow. Good much Hatzlacha Rabbah on your Journey looking foward to hear you put your foot foward.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Anxiety with family members
I am dealing with Machala stage 4. I feel so much pressure to have great davening since I literally am fighting for my life. I also have tremendous stress dealing with difficult family members that don't understand what I am dealing with.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
a -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
so sorry. refuah shleima bkarov.
perhaps you know someone that can speak to your family members and explain to them.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Oy. I had cancer many years ago. It was likely stage 2 or nearly 3, depending on which doctor you asked. My parents and siblings understood me and my way of life and actions respectfully but my wife and children, didn't.
Do I understand that it's your kids/wife/or siblings giving you the trouble, rather than parent (if they're still living, amve"sh)?
In anycase, we both know the pain and fear from this scary and threatning monstor. It's real and there are no guarentees (I do bless you with a refuah shleima and belive that Hasehm can and will do nissim for you)! I don't know exactly what to tell you, especially that I'm not going through your situation and barely know you! It seems to me from you message that you're in desperation and yiush. Please don't.
When you will be out of this, really soon, bs"d, you'll be a beackon and light to others and be able to be mechazek them and give them hope. I was NOT a good patient and gvetshed alot, I wish I didn't because repeating the story of my life I had at that time, is marred by bleakness and hopelessness (not even blaming myself; there are natures and also ways of accepting pain). NO JUDGING C"V. Just discussing with you like my best friend!
You cannot control others but if by "any' chance, you can develop a backbone and find happiness and meaning in something you have passion for, you might be able to ignore (yes, it might be the only way for now: they will get the message and actually draw closer to you when they see your independance)! Iv'e moved mountains that way with a less understandable illness (not to say which is worse); mental illness! I showed such levels of not caring what others say or think that human nature prevaied where me loved ones chose to change their opinions (see, I suffer emotional issues and also had cancer once and BH in remission for many years).
I'm the one answering because I'm not sure how other can answer pain and suffering the same way (Hashem should steer them away from all harm), but I'm ALWAYS open to you, RABBI JACOBSON to hear if and what I'm missing to help this wonderful tzaddik!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Rifki braun -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Ananymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
R -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Chava -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
How can we be sure we've extricated the triggers
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Chany Felberbaum -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
I want to give everyone hope that you can heal from tremendous trauma. I did B"H with the life-changing Demartini Method close to 10 years ago, and since then have no more anxiety around these days and love Hashem and feel deeply in my soul everything that Rabbi Y.Y. is sharing. You can get there as well. Stay strong.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
What is תשובה? The way of Rav kuk or Rav Soloveitchik? I am confused......
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Raymond Cohen -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
I'm dealing with chronic depression and anxiety, and I do my best EVERY day to just be kind to myself without pushing my limits any further than I can. My challenges are; Getting out of bed and Brushing my teeth. And/ Or, making sure that I don't starve myself all day, or isolated for to many ours, Etc..
So going to shul, (or praying in general) is something I truly feel incapable to focus on right now.
But on the outside I look totally functional, and I'm expected to "Show up" and do EVERYTHING regularly...
I would love to be in the headspace that I'm able to enjoy this beautiful Yom Tov season. I would love to have any interest or strength to go to shul and pray. But I have so much hate and fear around all that comes with the holiday, that I feel like I'm going backwards on my healing journey.
Sitting at family dinners are beautiful, but way to overwhelming for me. Going to shul is truly meaningful to me, but traumatizing in SO MANY ways.
So what would you say I can do to make the best out of what I got? Without making more damage then what I'm dealing with already?
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Abes -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
I feel your pain through your words. May you have true inner healing this YK. May God lead you on your path of healing. Love You.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
If I can only reach your heart... Seriously, I know exactly what you're going through because I'm a brother in suffering and I'm genuiunly bleeding for you!
You need to get help but more so, lot's of self understanding and compassion for your own self! It's paramount for you not to allow the triggers (which you "might" have no or little control of), to drive you up a wall. I see from you're writing that you're in horrible suffering but trying to use your mind as a vessel to hold your life in it but you cannot do this now!
You need to accept yourself at this point the way you are and realise that you have so much power at this point! You know, Hashem is so close to you, especially when suffrering from mental illness. One of the things I do and did which helped me so much, I will share with you: I am CERTAIN (no gaiva, yeshus, etc...) that if I can focus of other yidden and their tsoras and be CERTAIN that my tefillah comes from a broken heart, I can seriously affect that person and maybe so many yidden in klal yisroel that either need yeshuas or, imagine, a bus after Yom Kippur (think before, of course), that was SO close to be involved with an accident that would nebech claim so many lichtige... Yes, we did it... Feel the power! Cry for another yid (and for your own stability so you can continue being a shliach for other yidden)!
I must tell you, chaver, that it changed my holy days. I was crying for long periods and breaking down; allowing the recycling of my extreme emotional position, to beseach Hashem and sincerely cry for his children. All of the sudden, a light came to me as I was going over in my mind yidden that suffer and was able to TRANSFORM my bitterness and pain. The problem I ran into was: I ended up feeling good that I have this power and maybe a bit too proud! Hashem wants us to find our way out of this suffereing or to transform it for good. NOT the policman forcing you: either military or community service for the country (juxtipasition of hashem asking you: how are you gonna make me happy because I need to be made happy in a "box" type way). Carve your own way and have Hashem say: this is my child; you've found me. You're working hard to get through what I sent you (I know it sounds unfair but that sentiment didn't get me very far), you're a tzaddik!
Big gedolei yisroel today, many possibly, don't have the broken heart to a level of you and me (first hand experience, I mean). Just imagine that Hashem is waiting for us to cry to him and be the emisarries of klal yisroel! Think abnout it! Please don't accuse me for possibly asking you for too much and/or for giving this advice after Y"K! Hashem is always here and a broken heart is NEVER trurned aweay, NEVERRRRR!!!!!
And, in the end, if you cannot do this, be happy that Hashem is in you and he's the suffering you experieince because ein od milvado; It's your Tatte and he loves you!. It's him you're experiencing and just calm yourself by any means possible. We might share a common issue of overthinking (I'm even doing this in the advice!), and that's good but not when you're in the low. Compassion, compassion, my brother. Just allow things to work out. Allow whatever therapy you're using and/or any meds you're taking to work for you (WITH NO SHAME!!!), and don't sweat it..
Your level of becvhirah is MUCH lower than for others. Yes, we don't want this and we would like to say to Hasehm: I don't need your honey, etc... but this is reality. The more you ruminate and obsess about what you can't do or how you feel uncomfortable about people (and blame yourself, of course), the worse you "might" feel.
I had RO"H as a quite good experience but then, at the meal, I felt a nose dived into depression. I worked it out by ignoring everything and anything and just focused on my new hobby of trying to figure out who else is suffering and just start feeling him and his pain, followed by a clear focus to say, Hsahem, I want you to help him... Whatever works.
I really feel I can help you alot and I feel it would be beneficail if I can speak to you. I'm literally sitting at 1:56 AM and thinking only about you. Maybe we can connect! Not sure how but maybe there's a way wtihout disclosing your info via public comments! Maybe ask the admin how it can be set up. I'm not a miracle worker but I'm passionate in this subject and found things that help, Love you brother with more than my heart! RABBI JACOBSON, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING T COMMENT OR ADD???
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
I haven't heard this shiur yet, but find Rabbi YY's erev Rosh Hashana webinar last year with Fresh Start. He speaks exactly about this. Refua sheleima.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Sonia Tamarkin -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Please share wisdom about how to relate to immediate family members who act feel and think very differently...and whose lifestyle doesn't align with authentic Torah truth
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Hi, I am survivor of sexual abuse as a very young child and I find it causes me a lot of anxiety that I have to fast on Yom Kippur. I bh have a few little children and when I am weak from fasting I feel so helpless. It is triggering for me to feel so uncomfortable physically and to feel so out of control. It reminds me of that trapped feeling and no way out.
How can I help myself feel safe and not feel like I am being physically controlled by the halachos that I have to fast no matter what?
Thank you for all your inspiring and uplifting speeches! Its so healing and validating to hear all your refreshing outlooks!
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
YY Jacobson -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
zalman lerman -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Zalmen -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Elisheva -1 שָׁנָה לִפנֵי
Question for Rabbi YY
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.