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Basics of Emunah #9: Where Is G-d When It Hurts?

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

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Basics of Emunah #9: Where is G-d when it hurts?

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D
Dani -6 שנים לִפנֵי
Question
Thank you again for your very empathic and cleansing speech, which helped us much. A minor question, if I may: Could you mention again the name of the Yid who leased great forests? I did not hear it clearly and I would like to mention your story to others.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
- Anonymous -6 שנים לִפנֵי
  Rabbi Berel Meisels (Meislish). I think he lived in Warsaw.
  השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
  - D
    Dani -6 שנים לִפנֵי
    Thank you very much, Rabbi Jacobson!
    
    השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -7 שנים לִפנֵי
Emunah
Thank you.

Rabbi Jacobson you are truly blessed to be such a good shaliach for klal Yisroel.

I just finished listening to #9 and I feel that I was gebentched with a revealed gift from HaShem to allow me to get the answer that makes the most sense WE DONT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!!!! I Deep down I had a fear who knows maybe one day with all my question & doubts I'll c'v become an atheist (in addition a lot of my close family members indirectly made me feel that something is WRONG with my way of thinking), and thank you for validated my question and concerns and giving me the chizuk hope and inspiration that I so needed.

You and you're family should be gebentched with revealed goods all the time! HaShem should give you the strength and ability to continue doing your avodos hskodesh.

השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Y
Yehudah -7 שנים לִפנֵי
Emunah #9
Regarding Basics of Emunah #9, there is a point that I always mention, and that is whatever we encounter, painful or otherwise, is Hashem tapping us on the shoulder with a message. It's just that each individual has to determine what that message is for him. I can't tell someone else what Hashem is trying to tell him.

There was a story that happened pretty recently. I'm sure you know of the כלה who was badly injured in the bus accident on the 402 line. She became handicapped as a result. Her chosson's family pressured the boy to break off the shidduch, but he did not want to. However, one day the pressure got to be too much for him. He wrote her a long letter and was on the way to the hospital to deliver it to her. As he was crossing the street, a bus hit him, and he broke some bones including some of his ribs. (Very painful and not much to do about it.) I asked my chevrah, "What was Hashem's message to that chosson?" When they tried to tell me that the message was that it was cruel to break the shidduch or that he shouldn't do it, I told them that they are totally wrong. I don't know what the message was to the chosson. Only the chosson can figure that out. (BTW - he did not break off the shidduch and they got married in Adar.)

But each one of us who hears this story has to figure out what hashem is telling him! When the Chofetz Chaim saw חילול שבת, he made a חשבון הנפש as to what he needs to be מתקן with his own שמירת שבת.

I believe that this is a very important נקודה that does not come to explain why 'bad' things happen, but what we are supposed to do with anything that happens.

Yehuda
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
Anonymous -7 שנים לִפנֵי
Are challenges better than miracles?
I was wondering if you could please help me. I heard your wonderful shiurim,and I was really inspired,you changed my whole life.i now live with such clarity, so relaxed. However I have a question that really disturbs me. You so clearly described the whole concept of concealed goods and revealed goods, the more light, it blinds us - that's what tests are. Does it mean that nisyoines are better than miracles? challenges are better? f so,then how could it be that Hashem feels our pain. If it's good then it's not pain? and why do we pray for recovery? if it is all so good? I appreciate your prompt reply, and looking forward to hear from you asap as this question is bothering me.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
- Anonymous -7 שנים לִפנֵי
  The answer is:
  
  In truth, in a higher reality it is good, but from OUR perspective is is painful. The ultimate good is that the light of Hashem should be communicated to us in a way that we can feel and appreciate within our own "kelim," our own identity, that is wonderful and good.
  
  Since Hashem has no limits, He can communicate His infinite light in a way that even our finite world can experience it as blessing. That is why we pray and daven for revealed goodness and the ultimate purpose of existence is for the deepest light of Hashem to be communicated in a fashion that we experience it as good and positive.
  השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
PSF
P S F -7 שנים לִפנֵי
A LISTENER WITH ADMIRATION
Rabbi Jackobson, this shiur is so beautiful deep and healing. I have listened to it already more then 10 times and made numerous people listen to it. In middle of the shiur, you said an amazing insight on the posuk "בִּלַּ֚ע הַמָּ֙וֶת֙ לָנֶ֔צַח וּמָחָ֨ה אֲדֹנָ֧י יֱהֹוִ֛ה דִּמְעָ֖ה מֵעַ֣ל כָּל־פָּנִ֑ים", I thought that one can add with this an explanation to a posuk in Tehillim - Psalms - Chapter 74, the posuk says שָֽׁאֲג֣וּ צֹֽ֖רְרֶיךָ בְּקֶ֣רֶב מֽוֹעֲדֶ֑ךָ the simple interpretation to this posuk is "roared have your oppressors amidst your meeting place.......", according to this, the posuk is referring to the oppressors the adversaries from Hashem, but maybe one can say that it is referring to the jews going through the pain and suffering that שָֽׁאֲג֣וּ they screamed צֹֽ֖רְרֶיךָ this is pain and anguish, but really בְּקֶ֣רֶב מֽוֹעֲדֶ֑ךָ the core the innards from their pain was (and is) מֽוֹעֲדֶ֑ךָ festivity and goodness from Hashem.............. May Klal Yisroel merit to see only good that can be seen with our eyes in our times Thank you from the very deepest inside me I love you
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
D
Dodi13 -7 שנים לִפנֵי
Good day, Rabbi Jacobson.
> > You are absolutely right, no logical answer will suffice to really be good
> > enough for someone in pain. Through the years I too, have read many
> > variations of answers such as gilgulim and the Talmud's take on Iyov and
> > explanations that he was not as righteous as everyone though him to be, the
> > Medrashim of what happened before parting of the Sea of Reeds and Moshe
> > Rabbeinu asking HaShem to reveal His glory after the sin of the golden
> > claf. And, yes, it all makes a lot of sense to the one who is not in
> > pain... But, as they say, "Don't confuse the tourism with immigration."
> > I'd like to share with you Rabbi Winston's (www.thirtysix.org) take on the topic. He drew a
> > parallel between the story of Joseph HaTzadik and his brothers and the
> > Yemos HaMashiach. Brothers, who all were great and righteous men, could not
> > understand why all these things were happening to them... and then the
> > great viceroy of all of Egypt stands before them and says 2 word,- "Ani
> > Yosef"- and they fell silent and immediately understood everything in
> > retrospect. So he says in the time of Moshiach coming HaShem will finally
> > reveal Himself to all of us and say, - "Ani HaShem"- and all of us will be
> > speechless just as brothers were for we, too, will finally understand all
> > the things that happened to us.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
J
julie -8 שנים לִפנֵי
I can't tell you I listened to every shiur on the Emunah series but I sure am glad I listened to this one. The timing was impeccable.
After more than ten years in denial, I am about to confront one of my greatest demons - my eating disorder. I've managed to hide it from my therapist - at least the extent of it, till now. Of course, it all came unraveling at once and I am forced to face it. Honestly, I didn't think I could find the strength to start fighting. I am so exhausted and battle weary. I'm finally at a decent place with my personality disorder and I have to start a new fight? A new team of doctors, therapists?? I couldn't. I actually burrowed my head in bed and said I give up.
But this morning I said - no. Today I don't give up. About tomorrow? I don't know. But today? Today I will survive. Today I will be strong. And today I will ask Hashem to hug me, hold me, because I need him so bad.
Hashem did send me a hug - your speech. You know what your answer to 'why me' meant to me? It meant to me that I can surrender to a higher power. I didn't do anything to deserve this. Neither did my husband. Hashem wants this from us so we will show up and fight. 'I don't know' means to me that it's not my fault. Or my previous gilguls or that I chose this willingly before I came down. Maybe I did. I don't know. But does it matter? We get too hung up in justifying punishment/pain and too little energy left to fight.
I don't know why I suffer so much. I don't know why I have so much good in my life either. I don't know why things that are hard for people are easy for me, and things that are easy for almost anyone, are super hard for me. I. Don't. Know. But I'm empowered in this lack of knowledge. For I don't need to know.
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.
AY
a yid -8 שנים לִפנֵי
“If you wonder, "Now that I have suffered, perhaps I need to correct something," that may be an appropriate request. But there is no place for merely asking, "Why did this happen to me?" All the explanations written in sefarim hakedoshim are just to calm a person who is still progressing in avodah. But when you want to reach the deepest level of avodah, "the goal of knowledge is to know that we do not know." You must comprehend that you cannot comprehend anything.
This work of understanding in our heart that we cannot understand is an inherent contradiction to the heart's deepest desire to be a lev meivin, an understanding heart. The nullification of a created being's natural yearning.
But this itself is the secret to transcendence. To the extent that one nullifies himself and literally becomes his emunah, he is no longer a separate creation, but rather an agent of the Creator. But if he insists on understanding things and tries to fit Hashem's acts into human containers (our way of thinking), he separates himself from Hashem and cannot be one with Him.
Every one of us must eventually reach this level of emunah, but the question is if it will be in this world or the next. The path to this level is long, and you must first fulfill all that has been presented up to this point, but the ultimate goal is to realize that you are here for one purpose: to do the will of Hashem and to understand that you cannot understand!
This comprehension that you cannot comprehend is an awesome level that only very few people truly attain. Many can say the words "I understand that I don't understand," but their hearts completely contradict that affirmation.
"Be simple-- with Hashem your G-d"
If one is truly on the level where he is not bothered by the fact that he does not understand, then, even if suffering does come to him, not only will he not be angry, but he will have no questions! He will say to Hashem, "Even if this suffering does not rectify any sins, I am not troubled. If You did this, Hashem, it must be perfectly fine!"
As long as one seeks answers, he is far from this level. If, when experiencing some form of suffering one thinks, "Thank G-d, this is rectifying my sins" (or, as people say, "an atonement for sins"), he should know that he is not yet on this level. If he thinks that suffering must atone for sins, and needs to calm his heart that way, he still has a desire to understand suffering.
A person must feel inside that he doesn't care why he suffers! One things must be clear to him: Hashem sent the suffering, and He knows very well what He is doing! This is all there is to know!
One need not understand anything else. Even if Eliyahu Hanavi would come and reveal to him that there is no such thing as reincarnation and rectification of sins (he wouldn't say that, because the sefarim hakedoshim have already stated these truths), he would not be bothered at all. It is clear that the One who brought the suffering was the Creator, and there are no questions on Him!”
"Building A Sanctuary in the Heart-- p. 290-1 Manual for the Development of a Personal and Intimate Relationship with Hashem" Bilvavi Books www.bilvavi.net
Note: In Tehillim/Psalms 92:15 it says re Hashem "There is no wrong in Him" וְלֹא עַוְלָתָה (כתיב עַלָתָה) בּוֹ: or "There is no injustice in Him"
השיבו לתגובה זו.סמן את התגובה הזו.